Spiritual Direction Post and Series Index

Dear Friends,

To make it easier for you to find key posts on spiritual direction we have updated our Spiritual Direction Index page. As well, we have ordered the posts in a way in keeping with the flow of topics. Click here or go to the upper right hand corner of the site and click on “Spiritual Direction.”

Seek Him – Find Him – Follow Him,

Dan

How much of spiritual direction should focus on prayer versus sin and virtue?

Q: Dear Father John, how much of a discussion in spiritual direction should focus on moral issues, such as habitual sin and possibly that of grave matter which may not necessarily be mortal sin? So much discussion here is only about how to pray well, making a program for life, finding a spiritual director and things of that nature. What about living life every day? It seems to me that talking to a spiritual director about lofty things like praying wonderfully is great, but that seems secondary to getting habitual sin eradicated. Please address how dealing with morality factors into spiritual direction, and how it differs from discussion about it within the Sacrament of Confession. I hope I’m not the only sinner here!

A: Thank you for asking this question so directly. I will try to be as direct in my answer.

Spiritual direction, in its essence, is merely one means (though a powerful one) to help us know, love, and follow God more deeply. And so, the guidance received in spiritual direction should touch on those activities and experiences most directly related to our communion with God. Without a doubt, sin is one of these, and so the topic of sin will be part of spiritual direction. But before we look at how, let’s remind ourselves of what sin, that disobedience to God’s eternal law, really is.

Sketching a Profile of Sin

Sin is rebellion against God. It is an echo of Satan’s refrain, “I will not serve!” It is a denial of our status as God’s creations and his children, dependent on him for our existence at every single moment. It is a repudiation of his goodness, love, and wisdom. It is the prodigal son wishing his father were already dead so that he could get his inheritance and abandon home. When we sin, we cut ourselves off from the very source of meaning, virtue, and happiness, both temporal and eternal. When we sin, we become absurd and self-destructive, like trees uprooting themselves from the soil because they feel constrained by their roots. Sin is turning our backs on our Creator, Redeemer, and Savior. (For a more detailed discussion of sin, and its different types, see our entries on scrupulosity.)

The Throes of Repentance

Usually, when someone is at the point in their spiritual life where they are seeking regular spiritual direction, they are repentant. This means they have received the grace to turn away from their sins and to sincerely desire to come back to the Father’s house. Otherwise, why would they be wanting spiritual direction? But repentance from past sins rarely includes the total banishment of sinful habits, actions, tendencies, and attitudes. Repentance is the first step of a difficult journey along the path of holiness, a journey fraught with temptations to fall back into old sins or dive into new ones.

For this reason, spiritual direction has to involve a frank discussion of our most common temptations and falls (usually, this forms part of the “program of life”). In the sacrament of confession, we confess our sins, receiving forgiveness and the grace of renewed strength to resist temptation. But in spiritual direction, we analyze and discuss our sinful patterns and tendencies, trying to understand their roots and identifying ways to overcome them. This discussion and analysis has to do at least two things:

1. First, it should help us, gradually, get to know ourselves better and better. Sometimes a particular habit of sin is actually just a branch of a deeper selfish tendency. If we keep trying to cut off the branch, it just grows more vigorously, as when we prune a tree. We need to find the roots if we want to overcome definitively those habits that stifle our spiritual growth.
2. Second, it should help us identify things we can do to strengthen ourselves against temptation. Our greatest allies in the battle against sin are prayer and the sacraments, so spiritual direction has to be a place where we receive guidance about how to live those more fruitfully. But spiritual direction also gives us the advantage of being accountable to someone, so we should discuss lifestyle choices (how we use our time, what kind of entertainment we engage in, which relationships hinder our growth in virtue…) that are connected to our moral and spiritual integrity. We should identify faith-damaging habits that we need to break, as well as faith-encouraging habits that we can form, and hold ourselves accountable to our spiritual director for the consistency of our efforts. For example, we should talk about situations we keep putting ourselves in that lead us into sin (traditionally called “occasions of sin”) and how we can avoid them in the future.

Stages of Growth

At the earlier stages of the spiritual life, the emphasis falls on weeding out the sinful and self-centered habits that are constricting the action of God’s grace in our lives. As we grow, the emphasis changes. There are fewer weeds in the garden, and we begin to focus more on how to make the good plants (the Christian virtues) grow and bear more fruit. We also become more sensitive to less dramatic sins, to more subtle manifestations of selfishness (which is why we never grow out of confession: the more we love our Lord, the more sensitive we will be to even the smallest offenses to his friendship).

A tendency to anger, for example, may lead to frequent, violent explosions early on, but to less visible spats of impatience later. In both cases, however, these are weeds; they are obstructing our friendship with Christ, and we need to work intelligently to uproot them by growing in the virtue of fortitude. Spiritual direction should help us in that effort, by providing both spiritual encouragement and tactical advice.

Moral integrity (avoiding the big, obvious sins, like those alluded to in the Ten Commandments) is the foundation of the building called holiness. But the building really begins to soar once we establish that foundation firmly and become free to focus our spiritual energies on the active loving of God and neighbor, not simply the avoidance of offending them. Thus, our prayer, our program of life, and everything else associated with spiritual direction is not meant to be divorced from daily life, but actually should enable us to live each day more deeply and fully, by helping us plug even the most mundane activities into the great adventure of seeking, finding, and following our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, may his name be praised forever!

Yours in Christ, Father John Bartunek, LC

What is a “program of Life” and why is it important to my spiritual progress?

Q:  Father John, what is a “Program of Life” and why is it important to my spiritual progress and Spiritual Direction?

A:  One of the enemies of good spiritual direction is excessive subjectivity.  We all have urgent personal issues that come and go; they occupy our attention and energy intensely for brief periods, but they really don’t touch the deeper regions of our character and personality.  When a child is sick, it preoccupies us.  When someone at work is having problems that affect the rest of us, it preoccupies us.  Sometimes issues like this are important enough to deserve ample attention during spiritual direction, but not usually.  And yet, because they are on our mind, we will naturally tend to let them dominate our conversation during spiritual direction.  This can inhibit us from the kind of deep, systematic, and structural work that spiritual direction is really designed to foster.  The headlines of our lives change every day, just like the news headlines.  But headlines are by nature superficial.  We need to make sure that we don’t waste all of our spiritual direction talking about superficial headlines. This is where the Program of Life comes in; it helps us to keep our ongoing spiritual work objective and profound.

To understand how it does that, we only have to understand what it is.  The term Program of Life has some siblings: Rule of Life, Reform of Life, Plan for Spiritual Growth, Game Plan for the Soul, Business Plan for the Soul… In all cases, the core meaning remains the same.  The Program of Life is a tool that helps us personalize the principles of spiritual progress:

Prayer - Everyone needs to pray, but how often should I pray, what type of prayer should I focus on, what factors are making prayer hard for me?  Every individual person, because of their life-situation, background, education, and temperament will find individualized answers to those questions.

Virtue - Likewise, everyone needs to become more Christ-like through the practice of Christian virtue.  But which virtues do I most need to develop and how exactly can I work on them, which habits of selfishness are most deeply rooted in me and how can I diminish them, what is the underlying cause of my most frequent sins and faults?  Again, every individual will answer these questions differently

State in Life - The same goes for the fulfillment of God’s will through fidelity to the responsibilities of one’s state in life.  Every father needs to guide, discipline, and spend time with his children; every husband needs to give his life for his wife, as Christ gave his life for the Church; every professional needs to be another Christ in their workplace – but these ideals will take on unique (and uniquely beautiful) characteristics as they are incarnated in the unique and dynamic reality of every individual.

The Program of Life consists of the personalized answers to all these questions, phrased and arranged in such a way that they become a guide for daily living.

The Program of Life, then, is like a spiritual workout program that insures spiritual growth because it is customized to the individual’s needs and opportunities.  When we meet with our spiritual director, it is good to start by going over the headlines, but, reviewing together the main points of the Program of Life is the real path to consistent, substantial progress.

Three other things are worth noting. 

• First, when we draw up a Program of Life together with our spiritual director (which is a very good idea), our efforts to follow it have the added benefit of being acts of obedience, since we are doing not just our own will, but God’s will as manifested through our director (we are not speaking of a vow of obedience, but the virtue).  An effective time to draw up a Program of Life is during a retreat; a little distance from the daily grind sharpens our spiritual vision. 
• Second, a good Program of Life includes a personal (usually weekly) schedule with prayer commitments that are decided upon ahead of time.  This saves us from the inconsistency that comes from moodiness and constant improvisation.   It also includes concrete areas of activity (the formation of good habits of behavior) that directly counteract the most salient manifestations of one’s root sin.
• Third, the Program of Life is a living entity.  It can and should change as we get to know ourselves better and as we grow.  Living it out is not like following the Ten Commandments, to which there are never exceptions.  Rather, it’s like following a game plan on the basketball court; flexibility in the face of life’s dynamism is preferable to scrupulosity.

If you want to learn more about the idea of a developing a Program of Life, pick up a copy of Father Thomas Williams’ book “Spiritual Progress.”

Yours in Christ, Fr John Bartunek, LC

Spiritual Progress – Book Recommendation

Spiritual Progress: Becoming the Christian You Want to Be

by Father Thomas Williams, LC

This book is for beginners… but in the broadest sense. It is for rank beginners, for whom the idea of spiritual progress presents a fresh exciting quest into the unknown. It is for “experienced” beginners for whom starting over has become something of a profession. It is for humbled beginners who realize that after much travel they need to retrace their steps and set out anew from square one. It is for curious beginners who for the first time are considering the spiritual life as something worthy of pursuit. It is even for embarrassed beginners, who realize they should probably be far ahead of where they find themselves. In short it is for anyone willing to take seriously Jesus’ words: “Unless you change and become as little children, you shall never enter the kingdom of heaven.” (Adapted from the Introduction – no better way to say it…).

Table of Contents:

Ch 1: Redefining Success – Holiness and the Meaning of Life

Ch 2: True Love – The Heart of Christian Spirituality

Ch 3: WWJD? – What it Really Means to Follow Christ

Ch 4: The Road to Happiness – Reevaluating God’s Will

Ch 5: Talking with God – Prayer and Why it Matters

Ch 6: How to Pray – The Inner Dynamics of Christian Prayer

Ch 7: Where to Draw Water – The Sources of Christian Grace

Ch 8: You’ve Got a Friend – How Holy Spirit Can Make You a Saint

Ch 9: Honor Thy Mother – What Mary Has to Do with Christian Life

Ch 10: Becoming a Believer – Faith as a Gift of Choice

Ch 11: Discovering Your Best Self – True Humility in World of Vanity

Ch 12: Letting Go – Generosity as a Christian Virtue

Ch 13: Enemy at the Gates – A Dose of Christian Realism

Ch 14: Your Own Personal Trainer – Spiritual Direction & its Benefits

Ch 15: Drafting a Plan of Action – Usefulness of a Spiritual Program

Ch 16: Practicing and Preaching – Letting Others in on the Secret

Click Here to Purchase or to find out more more about “Spiritual Progress”