Category: Penance/ConfessionShould I ask my spiritual director (a priest) to also be my confessor?Q: Dear Becky, I have a question for you. I have a priest spiritual director that I usually travel more than an hour to see every month. I go to confession weekly and am wondering if it would be best to see the same A: The fact that you are receiving the sacrament of reconciliation weekly, and are traveling a good distance to see your spiritual director each month shows that you are serious about becoming holy. Keep up the good work! The short answer to your question is that it can’t hurt to ask. We need to be considerate of our priests’ time, yet also remember that they became priests to help us to heaven. Your concern for continuity shows that you understand the value of developing an ongoing relationship with your confessor, this is good. And since we confess our sins, not to the priest, but to Jesus via the priest, receiving spiritual direction at this time is a very good idea. Going to confession and receiving spiritual direction at the same time is a huge blessing. There is special grace here because of the sacramental nature of confession, and it saves you from having to repeat or explain your struggles to your spiritual director when you see him each month. If you have a good priest who can provide at the same time, both confession and sound spiritual direction, you are very blessed; this would be the optimal situation. I can only assume from your question that the physical distance between you and your director has prevented you from seeing him more often. That said, a few questions come to mind that you should discuss with your director. First, does your spiritual director have the time/flexibility to see you more frequently? If he does, do you have the means (time and cost of transportation), to make that trip more often? If not, you might want to alternate confession time (local for three weeks, then once a month with your priest/spiritual director). Second, are you at a place where you can safely reduce the frequency of your confessions? If you are at a stage where you are not often tempted to mortal sin, it might be prudent to exchange frequent confessions for fewer that are more fruitful. You would, of course, still have the ability to make a confession with a local priest as needed. That you believe God arranged for you to have this specific priest as your confessor is probably a reliable instinct. If you think about it, having one person who sees the ‘whole’ of our spiritual life makes good sense. God knows what is best for us, and as we progress on the journey of the soul He may guide us to modify some practices in order to develop new ones. Your spiritual director will be able to give you advice tailor made for your situation. Talk this over with him as appropriate matter for spiritual direction discussion. Father Z’s 20 Tips for Making a Good Confession
When we die we will be judged. Scripture teaches, and Christ’s own words and actions make clear, that there are some sins bad enough to kill the life of grace in the soul and sever you from friendship with God. Die in that state and you will be eternally separated from God. If you think about that – eternal separation from God – which doesn’t immediately sound that bad, you will run or crawl to the confessional, get yourself to the priest to confess every mortal sin in kind and number you can think of…. because… you one day will die. Jesus Christ Himself gave His own power to forgive sins to bishops and priests as the ordinary means for forgiveness of post-baptismal mortal sins. Christ’s power is exercised in the Sacrament of Penance. You may have heard some goofy ideas over the years, or when you were growing up, about it being nearly impossible to commit a mortal sin, or that all that stuff the Church taught is too strict or too focused on sex or too mired in the mores of ages past. Do you want to bet your eternal soul on those goofy ideas which, in your heart of hearts you know full well are dead wrong? When they are going all squishy and wobbly and easy on what you are doing… doesn’t that actually ring alarm bells somewhere in your conscience? That alarm bell you hear is your conscience and God’s grace trying to pull your sorry backside out of the serious spiritual danger your soul might be in. And if your soul winds up in Hell, friend, your body will one day follow. And the results of that will never… ever… end. Never ending separation from God in hopeless, loveless agony … or… the sight of God face to face, the fulfillment of every good and the perfection of every joy and virtue in communion with the angels and saints and the infinite Triune God. Heaven or the PIT. Stick to the Church, friends. Review the Catechism of the Catholic Church or any old approved Catechism or pious book of prayers with examinations of conscience. Forget what the “Everyone’s just fine as they are and Jesus is a fluffy huggy friend” crowd, the “There can’t be anyone in hell” gang. Wanna bet your soul on that? Never mind about the pious language in some of those older book, look at the substance. The things the old books and approved Catechisms say are sins really are sins and they can put you in Hell forever if you don’t confess them, receive absolution, do penance and amend your life. Go to confession. Hold nothing back. Go to confession. Confess it all, in kind and number. Go to confession. Don’t be afraid. Fr. Z’s 20 Tips For Making A Good Confession o{]:¬) We should… 1) …examine our consciences regularly and thoroughly; 2) …wait our turn in line patiently; 3) …come at the time confessions are scheduled, not a few minutes before they are to end; 4) …speak distinctly but never so loudly that we might be overheard; 5) …state our sins clearly and briefly without rambling; 6) …confess all mortal sins in number and kind; 7) …listen carefully to the advice the priest gives; 9) …carefully listen to and remember the penance and be sure to understand it; 10) …use a regular formula for confession so that it is familiar and comfortable; 11) …never be afraid to say something “embarrassing”… just say it; 12) …never worry that the priest thinks we are jerks…. he is usually impressed by our courage; 13) …never fear that the priest will not keep our confession secret… he is bound by the Seal; 14) …never confess “tendencies” or “struggles”… just sins; 15) …never leave the confessional before the priest has finished giving absolution; 16) …memorize an Act of Contrition; 17) …answer the priest’s questions briefly if he asks for a clarification; 18) …ask questions if we can’t understand what he means when he tells us something; 19) …keep in mind that sometimes priests can have bad days just like we do; 20) …remember that priests must go to confession too … they know what we are going through. More Posts on Confession: Encounter With Mercy
I am happy to announce the first official publication of Catholic Spiritual Direction! The forward is written by Cardinal Justin Rigali. This step-by-step guide is compact (back pocket or purse size), simple to read, and perfect for rediscovering or deepening our understanding and practice of one of the greatest gifts we have as Catholics. Read inspiring stories, learn the reasons confession is important, understand the Bible’s answers to common objections, and find out how you can promote confession to those around you. Buy one for yourself and several to give away! To purchase, click HERE and please tell your friends about this important guide! Here’s A Summary of this Fantastic Resource:
Penance and Mortification – What is the difference?
A: This is a very interesting question. The distinction between mortification (synonymous in most spiritual writers with self-denial, abnegation, self-renunciation, dying to self) and penance (synonymous with penitence, sacrifice or self-sacrifice, and “reparation”) has to do with the interior motive behind the action. In other words, the exterior action (fasting, for example, or taking a cold shower on a cold morning) can be exactly the same, but depending on the reason why I am doing the action (my intention), the spiritual nature of the act can be either mortification or penance. The intentionality of an act of mortification is to “punish [i.e., discipline] my body [i.e., self-seeking tendencies] and bring it under control, to avoid any risk that, having acted as herald for others, I myself may be disqualified” (1 Corinthians 9:27). In other words, I freely deny the satisfaction of a normal and healthy desire in order to grow in my spiritual maturity, to learn to govern the self-seeking tendencies built into my fallen nature. For example, I purposefully mortify my perfectly legitimate desire for dessert on Wednesdays and Fridays during Lent, so that I am better able to control an illegitimate desire to get drunk whenever that desire happens to surface. Mortification is spiritual training, tempering of the willpower in order to be able to better govern our passions and instincts, starving the bad plants in the garden (vices and selfish tendencies) so the good plants (virtues) can flourish. The intentionality of an act of penance is to “make up in my own body what is lacking in the sufferings of Christ” (Colossians 1:24). I am doing penance for sin, making up for an evil, destructive deed, just as Christ did by dying on the cross. He offered his obedience as “payment” (or atonement) for our disobedience. This is how he repaired (made “reparation” for) the breach between God and man created by original sin. He sacrificed himself (made himself into an offering to God) on our behalf. Penance, therefore, is done as a way to tell God we are sorry for our sins, or for the sins of others, and to make up for them. Thus, my teenage son refused to go to Mass on Sunday, and so, to make up for this ungrateful offense against the majesty and goodness of God, I do penance on his behalf – perhaps making a Holy Hour on Monday evening instead of watching a favorite television show, or not listening to music during my morning commute this week, just to show God that someone (I) does indeed love the Giver more than the gifts. A good dad would do something similar if his son broke a neighbor’s window by throwing a rock; he would make up for it himself, if his son refused to do so. When we do penance, we are repairing for sin, reversing the self-indulgent act of sin by replacing it with a self-giving act of mortification. Two other points remain on this issue. First, the only way that mortification and penance really help advance Christ’s Kingdom is if we are united to Christ. We must be living the life of grace – Christ must be alive in us – in order for us to unite our actions to his, so that they share in his merits. It’s like having a bank account with co-signers. The check only draws from the vault of merit if it is signed both by me (junior partner) and by Christ (senior partner). We cannot save ourselves by ourselves; we cannot grow in holiness apart from the source of holiness: “for cut off from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). Second, the concept of sacrifice also includes an element of intercession and petition. Offering God a sacrifice can be a way of intensifying a prayer of intercession. Thus, when St. Therese of the Child Jesus was interceding for the conversion of a criminal condemned to death, she and her sisters joined sacrifices (acts of self-denial) to their prayers. In the same way, we can offer sacrifices (acts of self-denial, obedience, patience…) to God in order to benefit other members of the Body of Christ who may be in need – those in temptation or sorrow, those in prison or suffering persecution. We are connected to them through our membership in Christ. It’s like a tug of war. We are all on the same team, pulling in the same direction. But sometimes someone on our team stumbles, loses their balance, or stops pulling as hard as they can. In those moments, we can pull harder, making up for their momentary lack, picking up the slack, so that they can have a quick breather and then get back into action. We can draw a whole host of conclusions from these observations, but I will finish by pointing out just one. Since the distinction between mortification and penance is in the spiritual intention, not the physical action, the same physical action can serve simultaneously as both an act of mortification and of penance. We can do one action with multiple intentions. So don’t worry too much about whether your Lenten sacrifice is for mortification or for penance – make it for both! Yours in Christ, Fr John Bartunek, LC, ThD Penance after Reconciliation……implications of not fulfilling it!
A: It is good to hear that you are trying to avail yourself of the sacrament of reconciliation on a regular basis. The glossary of the Catechism describes the sacrament as “The liturgical celebration of God’s forgiveness of the sins of the penitent, who is thus reconciled with God and with the Church.” It remits and forgives those sins committed after baptism. The sacrament of reconciliation (also known simply as confession or the sacrament of penance) is one of the most comforting treasures that the Almighty has given to the Church. Countless souls over the centuries have approached the sacrament with heavy hearts ? and then came away with a renewed outlook on life. Years, even decades, of sin can be absolved in one good confession. The essential elements of the sacrament comprise the acts of the penitent along with the prayer of absolution by the priest. The acts of the penitent are: contrition, the confession of sins, and accepting the penance imposed in satisfaction or reparation. (The temporal punishment that lingers for sins can be remitted through indulgences as well as prayer and acts of charity.) Now let’s turn to your specific situation. Your first confession was certainly valid, provided that you had the proper contrition, that is, the proper sorrow for your sins. Contrition can be imperfect, meaning that it is motivated more by a fear of punishment. Then there is perfect contrition, which is motivated by sorrow for having offended God; this suffices before the sacrament when one has the intention to go to confession. Let’s assume, too, that you confessed any and all mortal sins that you were aware of, including sins previously unconfessed (for instance, if you didn’t realize that they were mortal sins at the time you committed them). It is also “recommended to the Christian faithful that they also confess venial sins” (Canon law No. 988.2). Let’s further assume that you had the intention to fulfill the penance. You did the best you could at the moment, and eventually did find the text of the Angelus and prayed it. In the meantime ? and assuming that you remained in a state of grace ? you could receive Communion and even return to the sacrament of confession before having completed the first penance perfectly. In other words, your first and subsequent confessions were valid (if you fulfilled all other requirements) and your communions were OK too. So you can breathe easier. The ideal, of course, would have been for you to pray the Angelus well the first time. If you knew the bulk of the Angelus by memory and prayed it, that would have fulfilled the obligation. If you had a reasonable doubt, you would have done well to get a copy of the Angelus as soon as possible. It would have helpful, but not necessary, to mention your tardiness in a subsequent confession; this might have prompted you to fulfill the penance sooner. This in turn helps us not to take the sacrament for granted. A few other points are worth noting. An unfulfilled penance is a sin but does not invalidate the confession. If, after accepting a penance, the penitent finds it to be burdensome or very difficult to fulfill, he can ask the same or another confessor to change the penance. The Catechism in No. 1460 says that a penance “must correspond as far as possible with the gravity and nature of the sins committed. It can consist of prayer, an offering, works of mercy, service of neighbor, voluntary self-denial, sacrifices, and above all the patient acceptance of the cross we must bear. Such penances help configure us to Christ, who alone expiated our sins once for all.” Fulfilling the penance, by the way, doesn’t take away all the temporal punishment linked to our sins ? even one sin against an infinitely good God is beyond our ability to make up for it fully on our own ? but it does help to ensure the full benefits of the sacrament. God bestows his mercy generously, but penitents need to have the right disposition. Tragic it is that relatively few Catholics avail themselves of this rich sacrament. Yours in Christ, Father Edward McIlmail, LC Father McIlmail is a theology instructor at Mater Ecclesiae College in Greenville, RI. |
|
|
…confess our own sins and not someone else’s;
