Consolation & Desolation: What are “spiritualized capital sins”?

Q: Dear Father John, You used the phrase “spiritualized capital sins” in your post on consolation and desolation. I have never heard this idea before. What are spiritualized capital sins and how do they “attempt” to re-conquer the soul as we mature?

A: We have to remember that here on earth we are members of the Church militant. We are in the midst of a battle. As we grow spiritually, the enemies of our souls (the devil and his demons) don’t sit idly by. Did you know that the Church’s most notable heresiarchs (people who start heresies) were almost all priests in their forties? Pelagius, Arius, Apollinaris, Nestorius… These were all men of God, passionately dedicated to the Church and to seeking deeper intimacy with Christ, advanced in theological knowledge and in the spiritual life. Who would have guessed that they would become instruments of ecclesial devastation and spiritual shipwreck? And yet, they did. We can  never forget this: as we grow spiritually, the battle doesn’t go away.

But our enemies are smart. They know that temptation has to be customized to the situation of the person being tempted. They can’t invent new sins (the seven capital sins are always the primary categories for sinful behavior), but they can disguise them in new ways. So, for someone who is well along the road towards spiritual maturity, the tempters will have to clothe the capital sins in spiritual garments.

“Spiritualized” Capital Sins

For example, the inclination to vanity can appear in a subtle desire to have one’s new and advanced piety noticed. You start trying to draw attention to the outward manifestation of your devotion. Or you find yourself seeking to impress your spiritual director – hiding real struggles from them, lest they think you are less holy than you want to appear. You may even switch spiritual directors, not for any objective reason, but simply because you don’t want to follow anyone’s advice except your own.

The inclination to pride can show up in a sort of complacency in your religious works. You think you are really doing well, and so you start planning all kinds of great spiritual projects, but you don’t actually follow through on any of them. Or, you start talking about spiritual things with other people just to give them lessons, instead of seeking ways to put the lessons into practice yourself.

In the area of sensuality, you can become attached to the consolations that God has given you in your prayer and sacramental life. So you find yourself trying to force certain emotional reactions during your meditation or after Communion. You start to seek spiritual feelings too much, forgetting that the goal of holiness is union with God in mind and will, not feelings of consolation. You can even begin to become attached to friendships or relationships that seem to be based on spiritual values, but in truth you invest in them because of the emotional payback you feel instead of the mutual spiritual support they are supposed to provide; this can become a kind of spiritual lust. Spiritual greed can take the form of an insatiable desire to read every spiritual book, to accumulate rosaries and holy cards and icons, to jump around from devotion to devotion trying to imbibe the entire spiritual patrimony of the Church all at once even to the neglect of life’s basic duties (like one’s responsibilities to family members), instead of seeking patiently to go deep in the essentials.

Keeping Our Eye on the Ball: “Thy Will Be Done – Not Mine!”

These are some examples. You can find a more systematic summary of this spiritual trap in Fr. Tanquerey’s treatise on the spiritual life, #’s 1262-1269. We need to know that these types of attachments and self-absorption are possible, and that they can hinder spiritual progress as much as the less subtle sins. But we need not become obsessed with them. As always in the spiritual life, the compass and anchor remain the same: I love God by accepting and fulfilling his will in each moment of my life. That’s the litmus test, and that’s the surest guide through the shadows and tangles of this earthly pilgrimage – as sure a guide for us as it was for Jesus: “My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me and to accomplish His work” (John 4:34).

Should I ask my spiritual director (a priest) to also be my confessor?

Q: Dear Becky, I have a question for you. I have a priest spiritual director that I usually travel more than an hour to see every month. I go to confession weekly and am wondering if it would be best to see the same priest for confession for continuity, etc. Before my spiritual director relocated, I most often saw him for confession because it worked out that way, and, I believe it was God who arranged it that way. Would it be appropriate to ask my spiritual director to also provide confession when we meet?

A: The fact that you are receiving the sacrament of reconciliation weekly, and are traveling a good distance to see your spiritual director each month shows that you are serious about becoming holy.  Keep up the good work!

The short answer to your question is that it can’t hurt to ask.  We need to be considerate of our priests’ time, yet also remember that they became priests to help us to heaven.

Your concern for continuity shows that you understand the value of developing an ongoing relationship with your confessor, this is good.  And since we confess our sins, not to the priest, but to Jesus via the priest, receiving spiritual direction at this time is a very good idea.

Going to confession and receiving spiritual direction at the same time is a huge blessing.  There is special grace here because of the sacramental nature of confession, and it saves you from having to repeat or explain your struggles to your spiritual director when you see him each month.   If you have a good priest who can provide at the same time, both confession and sound spiritual direction, you are very blessed; this would be the optimal situation.

I can only assume from your question that the physical distance between you and your director has prevented you from seeing him more often.

That said, a few questions come to mind that you should discuss with your director.

First, does your spiritual director have the time/flexibility to see you more frequently?  If he does, do you have the means (time and cost of transportation), to make that trip more often? If not, you might want to alternate confession time (local for three weeks, then once a month with your priest/spiritual director).

Second, are you at a place where you can safely reduce the frequency of your confessions? If you are at a stage where you are not often tempted to mortal sin, it might be prudent to exchange frequent confessions for fewer that are more fruitful. You would, of course, still have the ability to make a confession with a local priest as needed.

That you believe God arranged for you to have this specific priest as your confessor is probably a reliable instinct.  If you think about it, having one person who sees the ‘whole’ of our spiritual life makes good sense. God knows what is best for us, and as we progress on the journey of the soul He may guide us to modify some practices in order to develop new ones.

Your spiritual director will be able to give you advice tailor made for your situation. Talk this over with him as appropriate matter for spiritual direction discussion.

What is an “attachment”? What are “disordered” attachments?

Q: Dear Father John, I would like to learn more about the idea of attachments. What is a disordered attachment and what is the difference, say, between a normal need for food and a disordered attachment for it? How can I tell the difference? Also, this is kind of a related point but is there a point at which indulgence in over-eating moves from a venial sin to a mortal sin?

A: A disordered attachment is an emotional dependence on some person, object, or activity.  We say emotional dependence, but we could also say psychological dependence. The point here is that my dependence on the object in question is more than what reason would dictate. Reason, for human beings, gives us access to the proper measure of things – the measure in accordance with God’s design.

“Ordered” Means “Reasonable”

For example, it is reasonable, for adults, to sleep seven hours a night on a regular basis. It’s reasonable because that’s more or less the amount of sleep that most people need in order to function in a healthy, normal way. If someone habitually sleeps twelve hours a night, something is probably wrong – that’s a disordered sleep pattern. There may be a physiological issue, or there may be an emotional issue, and sleeping too much is an escape from reality in some way or another. And if that escape is a symptom of some unresolved violation of conscience that has made life unbearable, or simply a well-developed habit of laziness and indulgence, then it could very well be a disordered attachment: I am overly dependent on sleep, using it as a shield to avoid facing the normal demands of life.

In any case, however, the standard for healthy dependence vs. unhealthy (disordered) dependence has to do with what is reasonable. And what is reasonable is always related to – ordered to – what is the God-given purpose of the object in question. Sleep is meant to help a person recover energy, not to help a person escape from responsibility.

It is reasonable, to take another example, to enjoy movies or sports as a form of recreation. We need relaxation and recreation to keep a healthy psychological and emotional balance. But when my football team’s loss throws my life into disarray for an entire week, or when I can never miss watching a game, no matter what duties it may require me to neglect, I may have a disordered attachment to that form of recreation. If I spend twenty hours a week playing online video games and only three hours a week playing with my kids or enjoying time with my wife, it is safe to say that I am attached in an unreasonable – or disordered – way to video games.

Eating with Reason

To move on to your example of food. The purpose of food is nourishment. We are dependent on food for life, and life is a good thing, because we are created in God’s image. The goodness of life is actually reflected, in God’s plan, in the pleasure that we get from eating good food. The pleasure is not evil or sinful; it is part of the nourishing experience; it is part of God’s plan for life. We give glory to God by enjoying the good things of his creation! And so, it is reasonable to eat amounts and types of food necessary to stay well-nourished, and to enjoy eating them.

Now the actual reasonable amount will vary depending on the needs of individuals. A seven-foot lumberjack who fells trees nine hours a day will probably not have the same diet as a petite copy-editor.

We can know that we are deviating from the reasonable use of food if we habitually eat in such a way as to cause damage to our health. Over-eating, or only indulging in the kinds of foods that give us the most pleasure, will interfere with the healthy functioning of our minds and bodies, instead of contributing to it. And that is unreasonable – or disordered. An unhealthy (disordered) attachment to food shows itself when eating is no longer ordered to enjoyable nourishment.

As in the case of sleep disorders, eating disorders can be symptoms of sinful self-indulgence (a manifestation of the root sin of sensuality), but they can also be symptoms of deeper problems. Habitual sins, for example, can lead to the disintegration of healthy self-respect, and cause vanity or pride to show itself in making food or physical appearance into a kind of idol. On the other hand, emotional or psychological wounds, when unhealed by God’s grace and his unconditional love, can fester in a person’s soul and eventually manifest themselves in these types of disorders.

Can Over-Eating Be a Mortal Sin?

As regards your specific question of whether over-eating can ever become a mortal sin, I think it could if it were habitual and serious to the point where someone is putting their very life in immediate danger. Remember that for a sin to be mortal – in other words, for a sin to sever our friendship with Christ – three conditions are necessary. First, the person has to be fully aware of the gravity of the sin. Second, the person has to choose the sin with completely consent – not under any compulsion. Third, the matter of the sin has to be grave and serious in itself (stealing $5 is not the same as stealing $5 million).

In the area of over-eating, I would hesitate to say that the matter itself is grave, unless the amount is a direct and immediate threat to one’s life. In related areas, however, the abuse of alcohol or drugs, for example, the matter is indeed grave. First of all, because abusing those substances puts your life (and others’) in immediate danger, and secondly, when someone purposely gets drunk or high, they knowingly forfeit or impair the use of their reason – they make themselves less than human, in a sense, defacing the image of God.

In the area of eating disorders, I would hesitate to say that a person’s actions are performed with full consent. Almost always, these are compulsive behaviors. Other factors are subconsciously pushing someone to over eat, or under eat, or induce vomiting after eating. These root factors may be symptoms of sinful behavior that have wreaked havoc in a person’s soul, in which case repentance will be needed to break the cycle. But they may also be the result of having suffered some sort of serious neglect or abuse, in which case the person is not culpable for the eating disorder, and healing will come through discovering the merciful and transforming love of God, which can repair any damage done by the sins of others.

A Note on Fasting

It is worth noting in this context that the Church has always encouraged voluntary fasting as a spiritual discipline. We are only required to fast every Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, but all spiritual writers recommend including this spiritual discipline as a regular part of our lives. Making a small sacrifice at every meal, for example, or avoiding snacks between meals, or abstaining from meat on Fridays throughout the year (not only during Lent) is a healthy way to keep this area of life ordered. Fasting is also a fruitful way of offering up sacrifices in union with Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. For more on that point, you can read this post.  This is a good topic to bring up in spiritual direction!

Dark night or depression?

Q: Dear Sister Carmen, I am struggling with prayer – it is very dry and I feel very alone but I have not given up. I believe I am in the dark night but I am also melancholy by temperament. How can I discern what I am experiencing? I don’t have access to a spiritual director because of my remote location. Am I depressed or in the dark night or both? I know you can’t know everything about my situation via this simple question – can you point me in the right direction?

A: Dear Friend, You are right in saying that I can’t know everything about your situation. Each of us is an unrepeatable individual unique among all persons living today, those who have lived before us and those yet to come. God has created us and in so doing has a plan for each of us. We want to live our lives in accordance with that plan and thus seek to discern how the Holy Spirit is leading us. A good spiritual director, if available, can be of invaluable help in this.

I can only give you the signposts that are general standards for growth in the spiritual life and there are many variations in these in the way that God chooses to work in the individual soul.

Before discussing dryness in prayer let us back up a little and summarize some of what has already been said. We have been dealing with the beginning mansions of the Interior Castle of which the first three Mansions form a special grouping. These three are a preparation for entrance into the Fourth Mansion in which one experiences the Prayer of Quiet. Teresa provides us with visual images to describe the work to be done either actively or passively as one journeys toward union with God. She applies a universal image in trying to express her thoughts, that of “water”. What she terms the First Water is applied to the first three Mansions. She compares the work done here to one who obtains water from the well by means of lowering and pulling up the bucket – hard work – but in Teresa’s day necessary if that was the only means at hand to obtain the precious water. How important was the water to the individual? Certainly a matter of life and death!

Thus in the spiritual life how important is our union with God to exercise the labor needed to reach our goal? The grace of God is there for us just as the water is in the depth of the well. Are we willing to use the means at hand to draw it up? Such means are: overcoming patterns of sin, practice of prayer, strengthening our sacramental life, practicing the Presence of God, cultivation of the virtues, bringing our wills into conformity with the will of Christ, detachment from worldly desires, practice of charity, etc. All of these are within the aid of ordinary grace. Much of the work here is “active work”, work we must do, with the help of God’s grace. And it is often slow work for growth takes time.

While all of us at one time or another may have experienced some form of consolation in prayer, however fleeting, the spiritual life is of too great a value to be an easy road. There is much hard work to be done especially in the first three mansions. It is here where we test the honesty and validity of our desire for a deeper relationship with God. Any relationship that is worthwhile takes profound commitment and arduous work on our part.

Now to get to the crux of your question! Why does wanting a deeper prayer life mean that often my prayer will be dry? And how do I determine whether this dryness is a result of spiritual growth or an effect of my melancholic temperament?

Can someone be going through the Dark Night and be experiencing melancholy at the same time? After all, many saints had a melancholic temperament. Regardless of our temperament each type has both strengths and weaknesses and of itself temperament does not stand in the way of spiritual growth. It is a part of what makes us the person we are. What we are referring to here is not our temperament but a form of melancholia or depression which can affect someone regardless of their temperament type. Yes, it is possible for someone to be going through both at the same time but it is not the usual case. Difficulties may be a source of suffering for us but not every suffering is the Dark Night.

If dryness is the result of one’s spiritual growth in prayer, the person will still have that strong desire to give him/her self totally to God through perseverance in prayer even when the senses feel no delight. Joy can also be experienced in suffering. On the other hand, melancholy closes the person in on self so that rather than seeking solitude to be alone with God in a loving relationship the person develops an unhealthy separation from others.

Generosity becomes a key word here. The one growing in prayer may not have a sense perception of the graces being received because the body is not perfectly conformed to the spirit and these graces are often very gentle and subtle, but the person is moved outwardly toward God and in service to others. Even if the person feels no delight in prayer the habitual attitude is to “give” rather than to “receive”, a characteristic quality of love. On the other hand,  dryness which results from melancholy turns the person inward on self suffocating the spiritual life.

Consolations may seem more pleasurable and are sometimes given by God because of our weakness. We give a small reward to a child to help them persevere in reaching their goal. It takes humility to walk in dryness recognizing our human frailty. But the strength we gain in the practice of fortitude draws us into closer conformity with Christ. If our path were to be strewn with consolations, what might be the deceptions that would assail us? The example of St. Bernadette is helpful here. Although the apparent rejection of her Novice Mistress was painful to her, she recognized that had she been treated as a favored one, it might have stunted her spiritual growth. The lack of human consolation enabled her to identify more closely with Christ Crucified.  If God leads us by the road of dryness it is because He knows what is best for us. We must have confidence that He seeks our happiness even more than we do ourselves.

In union of prayer,

Sister Carmen Laudis, O.C.D.

PS: To learn more about the Carmelite Sisters visit our web site: www.carmelitesistersocd.com and for more information please contact the sisters at contact@carmelitesistersocd.com, or 626-289-1353 Ext. 246, 920 East Alhambra Road, Alhambra, California 91801.

Struggling with suffering… Part II of II

Q: Dear Father John, I really want to think of God as good but lately I have been struggling with all the suffering I see around me and in my own life. Where is God in all of this?

In our first post in this two part series we reflected on suffering from a number of conceptual angles to try to orient our hearts in the right direction. Now we will discuss a few practical matters.

Our faith is weak, and so the weight of life’s pain and suffering often obscures the light of hope.  What can we do to strengthen our faith? What can we do to learn to carry our crosses, and help others carry theirs, with elegance, with love, even with joy? There is a lot we can do. I would just like to mention three things.

Eliminate the Blind Side

First, we have to contemplate frequently Christ on the cross. We need to have crucifixes in our lives – on the bedroom wall, on the desk in the office, on the screen saver, and the smart-phone’s wallpaper… We have to pray the Stations of the Cross more often than just on Good Friday. In other words, we have to prepare ourselves on a regular basis to be soldiers of Christ’s cross.

As a priest, it is agonizing to see people blind-sided by suffering – because it is so unnecessary! We shouldn’t be surprised by suffering. Jesus made it clear, in his words and example, that no one is exempt from suffering. The Church makes it clear, year after year through the liturgical seasons and celebrations, that the cross is central to life in a fallen world and to our growth in holiness. And yet, so many people, in the face of an untimely death, a painful sickness, or some other real tragedy, are still blind-sided. Their initial reaction is surprise and anger at God. But did God promise us that we wouldn’t have to face suffering in life? We must regularly contemplate Christ on the cross, so that we prepare ourselves in times of consolation for the times of desolation that will surely come.

Taking the Initiative

Second, we must consciously, purposefully, and humbly help others carry their crosses. There is no better way to become soldiers of the cross and co-redeemers with Christ than to “Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). This is the most potent antidote to the self-absorption and self-centeredness that make us vulnerable to temptation during our own sufferings. Reach out to people in need. Take the initiative to bring light to those who are stuck in darkness. Here is where the Church’s traditional works of mercy come in very handy – just looking over the list can give us new ideas of how we can build up the Kingdom of Christ by bearing one another’s burdens.

Never Walk Alone

Third, we have to keep cultivating our life of prayer. In the end, we can only have mature confidence in God’s Providence if we see all things from God’s perspective. For us fallen human beings, learning to see things from God’s perspective happens only through the gifts of the Holy Spirit. And the best way to give those gifts more room to maneuver in our hearts and minds is to give God time, every single day, to infuse his light and wisdom into our souls. That’s what mental prayer – Christian meditation – is all about. If you want some help to go deeper in your mental prayer, we recommend highly this book.

God is not distant from our sufferings. This is the message of Christ’s incarnation: he is with us all the time. This is the message of the Eucharist: he himself wants to be our strength in the midst of life’s troubles. So, remember, discouragement never comes from the Holy Spirit! It only comes when we try to save the world all by ourselves – a very bad idea: “The world will give you trouble, but take courage! I have overcome the world!” (John 14:1).