Prayer Primer: Igniting a Fire Within – Book Recommendation

Prayer Primer : Igniting a Fire Within – by Thomas DuBay

This is a must read for those looking either to begin, or to deepen their prayer lives. Father Dubay, with brevity and clarity, covers all the foundational elements of each type of prayer (vocal, liturgical, mental, contemplative, etc.). For those already experienced with vocal or liturgical prayer, this book will help you evaluate your prayer life and determine how to further develop your relationship with God. For those who already have a solid understanding of meditation and contemplation (within the context of the definitions provided by the Church and the spiritual doctors of the Church), you might look to “Fire Within” instead (also by Fr. Dubay). However, even with experience in these areas, this book will equip you with the perspective you need to evaluate your prayer life in each important area and to navigate deeper waters as you grow in grace.

Regardless of who you are, if you are beginning or reigniting your prayer quest – this book should be the first book you pick up. Click here to learn more.

Contemplation and Meditation – What is the difference?

A. Contemplative prayer consists of a more passive (and more sublime) experience of God. If Christian meditation is the soul’s inspired quest to discover God (our work of seeking God), contemplation is God’s lifting of the soul into himself (God’s work of embrace), so that it effortlessly basks in the divine light. The key distinction here is that contemplation, in the strict sense, is purely the work of God. Meditation, though aided by God and predicated upon the grace and work of Christ, is the result of our seeking him. That basic distinction is often blurred, causing confusion, because both contemplative and meditative prayer have multiple forms. Therefore, it may be worthwhile to clarify further.

In general, meditative prayer can be mostly discursive or mostly affective. A discursive meditation follows a more logical development, analyzing a truth of the faith or a scripture passage in order to discover an insight or deepen one’s Christian understanding. That discovery or deepening leads the soul out of analysis and reflection and into conversation with God – acts of thanksgiving, praise, contrition, or petition. An affective meditation puts less emphasis on analysis or reflection, and more emphasis on the conversation, the acts of thanksgiving and praise that flow from the soul’s spiritual (not necessarily emotional) affections. Sometimes a mere glance at a biblical phrase can stir up a strong affection in the soul, and that is enough for the soul to enter into conversation with God; this is a (mostly) affective meditation. Other times, a long period of reflection, of analytical searching, finally yields an affection that leads to conversation; this is a mostly discursive meditation.

In certain seasons of the spiritual life, and often as the soul increases in spiritual maturity, meditation naturally becomes more affective. When a soul finds itself regularly and easily entering into contact with God, with hardly any discursive effort, this is often called the “prayer of quiet” or the “prayer of simplicity.” The soul finds itself easily gazing silently at the grandeur of God. Because so little effort is required in this kind of almost exclusively affective meditation, it is often called contemplative prayer. This is a common and valid use of the term. But it can cause confusion, because in a strict sense, and in the writings of mystics and theologians, contemplative prayer (“infused contemplation” is the technical term) goes even beyond this adoring gaze. We can gaze at the ocean and experience a deep sense of wonder, but it is another thing altogether to be submerged in the water. Infused contemplation is when God submerges us in himself; we no long gaze at God from without, but experience an ineffable union with him. Think of the piece of iron that is thrust into the fire and takes on the qualities of the fire.

And so, the most active type of mental prayer (as opposed to vocal prayer) is discursive meditation, which dovetails with affective meditation, which in turn culminates in the prayer of quiet, in which the soul enters effortlessly into extended acts of thanksgiving, praise, contrition, or petition. This is so effortless that it is akin to and often called contemplation. Infused contemplation, however, actually goes to a new level, lifting the soul out of itself and into the divine.

How can I better praise God?

Q: Dear Dan, Can you give any help on how to learn to praise God? I enjoy going to Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, and would really like to learn how to praise Him. I don’t feel my words are adequately expressing the praise I really would like to give. Thanksgiving is easier, but I would be grateful for some advice on the praise side.

A: Dear Friend, thank you for asking. This is a very touching question… a beautiful expression just in the asking alone.

The most helpful means to me in developing my own language of praise and adoration is praying the prayers of the saints. As an example, one of my favorite prayers during Lent is expressed in St. Alphonsus Ligouri’s version of The Way of the Cross. In his reflection at the second station he says,

My most beloved Jesus, I embrace all the sufferings You have destined for me until death. I beg You by all You suffered in carrying Your cross, to help me carry mine with your perfect peace and resignation. I love You, Jesus my love; I repent of ever having offended You. Never let me separate myself from You again. Grant that I may love You always; and then do with me as You will.

The first time I prayed this I felt uncomfortable. I just didn’t feel that it was completely true. Yes, I love Jesus, but, I know that my heart is divided. I love him with what seems to me to be a deep love, but I am also very aware of my sin and the fact that my love is not always as whole-hearted as I desire it to be. So, it felt a bit disingenuous saying the words, “I love you Jesus my love.” It seemed more honest to pray, “I don’t love you as much as I should, but I want to love you far more than I do.”

My rescue came in the writings of St. Catherine of Sienna. She relays how it is not possible for us to atone for even the smallest sin (if there is such thing as a small sin). She notes that even though this is true, with God’s grace working through us to love him, we are far more capable, by that virtue-amplifying grace, to repent and thus love God more completely. I realized that when I am expressing even the most meager half-hearted and poorly worded praise, that my words are reaching God in a way that has far more beauty and grace than I could ever muster on my own. It is something like little poorly skilled boy producing a painting that expresses his love for God. He works as hard as he can but from a human standpoint the painting is artistically pitiful. However, by God’s empowering grace, he receives, in the boy’s desire and his own amplifying grace, a painting that is more beautiful than Michelangelo could ever produce.

I was further comforted by the amazing words of a poem written by Saint Teresa Margaret of the Sacred Heart, O.C.D.

…How can you say you do not love God when your very desire of loving is love itself?

It is the sweet flame which escapes from the secret furnace of your heart…

With respect to praying with the saints, there are many good books available. One that I have found a particular blessing is Divine Intimacy. For every day of the year, following the Liturgical calendar, there are meditations and very beautiful prayers from Carmelite saints and other holy men and women. Praying these prayers and making them my own has been extremely helpful.

Another approach that I have found helpful is to personalize the treasure of our traditional prayers. For instance, I begin almost all of my meditation times with an adaptation of the Acts of Faith, Hope, and Love. When I first began this practice I simply prayed them as they are. Over time, I began to pray extemporaneously through the ideas and sentiments that they contain. That is, I made these acts my own either in the traditional form or adapted them to personal experience and the state of my heart each time I entered into meditation. This morning I prayed something like this for my act of faith:

Lord, I believe in you. Thank you for being present to me. I am grateful that you desire my presence in spite of my sin. Before the foundation of the world you formed me out of nothing in order to be in communion with me. You sent your son to help me understand that no matter the depth of my sin, there is redemption for me. I believe in your love. Therefore, I hope in you…

When I am feeling less able to express myself, I simply return to the traditional forms and pray them as my own prayer or I just sit in the quiet and gently repeat, “I love you Jesus my love. Grant that I might love you always, and then do with me what you will.”

For all of our devout friends out there, what approaches have you taken to improve your ability to praise God?

Dan

How can I learn to pray more?

Q:Dear Father John, I am a young teenage Catholic currently discerning a vocation to the consecrated life as a nun or sister. Lately I’ve been feeling a very strong urge to pray a lot and go to Mass every day and Adoration whenever possible. I want to pray more and more but I am not exactly sure how I should go about doing it, or what I should pray. I love to say the rosary, but I would like to do more than that as well. Thank you so much for your time!

A: The urge to pray more can only come from the Holy Spirit. So you are absolutely on target – right in the bull’s-eye, in fact – when you ask for guidance about how to go about it. And the good news is that you don’t have far to look to find some excellent helps. But before I point you to some of those resources, I hope you will allow me to give one warning and make one recommendation.

A Cultural Warning

The warning is fairly simple. As you know, our culture is based primarily on feelings, on emotions. This is how advertisers convince us to buy things – whether new music, new shoes, or a new mattress. They use images, jingles, and clever stories (think about the Super Bowl commercials) to stir up pleasant emotions. And so we then associate those emotions with the product being advertised, and we purchase it, subconsciously thinking that the product will make those pleasant emotions a permanent part of our life. In our consumer society, we are trained from an early age to behave according to that pattern. Of course, it’s not true. No emotion, whether pleasant or unpleasant, lasts forever. Emotions come and go – that’s how God designed them. And sometimes they come and go without any reasonable explanation. A good mood or a bad mood can be triggered by the weather, by a hormonal surge, by something we ate, by the phases of the moon…

God’s call in your life will touch a deeper chord than mere emotion. Certainly, his presence has an emotional resonance – sometimes, at least, when he permits it. But because he knows you so thoroughly, and because he loves you so completely, he doesn’t want his friendship with you to be based merely on feelings. He wants it to go deeper. As a result, it will be important for you to gradually learn to go deeper and deeper in your prayer life – and that’s where the warning comes in.

Sometimes our prayer gives us consolation at the level of feelings and emotions, but other times, it doesn’t. In both circumstances, what matters most is your heart. Your heart is the very center of who you are, the “I” at the core of your soul. When you pray, you let God into that core, and you listen to him there, and speak to him from there, and sometimes just sit with him, in his presence, letting his grace enlighten and strengthen that most intimate and beautiful aspect of who you truly are. This is why real prayer can occur even when we are extremely sad, emotionally, because of the loss of a loved one, for example. It can also happen when we simply feel emotionally dry – like a desert. In prayer, as Blessed Cardinal Newman put it, “Heart speaks to heart” – God’s heart and your heart.

A Counter-Culture Recommendation

Now for the recommendation. In order to help you continue to go deeper in prayer, it is recommended by all the great spiritual writers (St Francis de Sales, St Teresa of Avila, St Ignatius Loyola…) that we give a little bit of structure to our prayer life. If we don’t, we run the risk of just praying when we feel like it, and if that’s the case, it’s hard to get down to the level of the heart. So I would suggest that you think about what kind of daily and weekly prayer commitments you would like to make to our Lord, as a way of showing him that you really do want to know him, love him, and follow him more and more – wherever he leads. Here are some ideas that may get you started:

• Daily: morning offering, at least 15 minutes of mental prayer, Rosary, 10-15 minutes of spiritual reading, evening examination of conscience, (any one of these could easily be combined with Adoration).

• Weekly: Sunday Mass, daily Mass once or twice during the week, a weekly Holy Hour (preferably on Thursdays), the Way of the Cross on Fridays.

• Bi-weekly: a good confession.

If that seems like too much or too little, that’s fine; it’s just meant to give you a starting place. There is no “right or wrong” here – it’s just a matter of you deciding to give some structure to your prayer life, because you want to make sure you are doing your part to grow in your friendship with Christ.

Of all the items I listed, the most important one for your discernment is, without a doubt, daily mental prayer. Mental prayer keeps the soul in tune with the Holy Spirit, assuring that you are in the best possible disposition to receive God’s grace throughout the day (and in the other sacraments) and to fulfill whatever he asks of you. It is the main spiritual exercise for everyone who is sincerely seeking to discern and follow God’s will in their life.

Becoming a Better Pray-er

I don’t have space in this answer to go into detail about mental prayer (also known as Christian meditation), but here is where some other resources can help you.

Online, I would highly recommend that you explore thoroughly the website www.vocation.com. They have a brief explanation of meditation there (A Guide to Meditation). They also have actual texts, Gospel based, that are specifically designed to help young men and women in their process of discernment (Meditations to help discernment). Here on our spiritual direction site, we have plenty of entries on prayer, which you may find helpful (this one, for example). If you prefer books, a lot of people have found this one very helpful.

Loose Ends

Finally, in addition to your prayer life, discerning your vocation will involve some active steps too – like striving to obey the commandments in your daily life, visiting orders or communities of consecrated women, receiving spiritual direction, and, of course, serving your neighbor. You may find it helpful to listen to some testimonies of others on vocation.com who have gone before you, but the most important thing is for you to keep your gaze “fixed on Christ” (Hebrews 3:1), and trust that he meant what he said when he told us: “And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you” (Luke 11:9).

As I finish this post, I am saying a prayer for you!

Yours sincerely in Christ , Fr John Bartunek, LC, Thd

Should I attempt to shut-down or quiet my mind during prayer?

Q: Dear Saint Teresa, I have read a number of books on prayer that advocate methods of suppressing, shutting down, or eliminating thinking all together during prayer. Do you recommend this approach?

A: I cannot understand how the mind can be stopped. There is no way of doing so without bringing about more harm than good. For my part,  those in favor of stopping the mind have never given me an adequate argument for submitting to what they say.

Here are my reasons:

First, in this work of the spirit the one who thinks less and has less desire to act (in suppressing their thoughts) does more. What we must do is beg like the needy poor before a rich and great emperor, and then lower our eyes and wait with humility. When through His secret paths it seems we understand that He hears us, then it is good to be silent since He has allowed us to remain near Him; and it will not be wrong to avoid working with the intellect. But, if we don’t yet know whether this King has heard or seen us, we mustn’t become fools. The soul does become quite a fool when it tries to induce this prayer, and it is left much drier; and the imagination perhaps becomes more restless through the effort made not to think of anything. But the Lord desires that we beseech Him and call to mind that we are in His presence; He knows what is suitable for us. I cannot persuade myself to use human diligence in a matter in which it seems His Majesty has placed a limit, and I want to leave the diligence to Him. What He did not reserve to Himself are many other efforts we can make with His help, such as: penance, good deeds, and prayer – insofar as our wretchedness can do these things.

Second, is that these interior works are all gentle and peaceful; doing something arduous would cause more harm than good. I call any force that we might want to use “something arduous.” Leave the soul in God’s hands, let Him do whatever He wants with it, with the greatest disinterest about your own benefit as is possible and the greatest resignation to the will of God.

Third, the very care used not to think of anything will perhaps rouse the mind to think very much.

Fourth, what is most essential and pleasing to God is that we be mindful of His honor and glory and forget ourselves and our own profit and comfort and delight. How is a person forgetful of self if he is so careful not to stir or even to allow his intellect or desires to be stirred to a longing for the greater glory of God? When His Majesty desires the intellect to stop, He occupies it in another way and gives it a light so far above what we can attain that it remains absorbed. Then, without knowing how, the intellect is much better instructed than it was through all the soul’s effort not to make use of it. Since God gave us our faculties that we might work with them and in this work they find their reward, there is no reason to charm them; we should let them perform their task until God appoints them to another greater one.

Without any effort or noise, the soul should strive to cut down the rambling of the intellect – but not suspend either it or the mind; it is good to be aware that one is in God’s presence and of who God is when in prayer.

St. Teresa of Avila

Adapted from The Interior Castle, 4:3