Category: MeditationStruggling with overwhelming sorrow during Lent – how do I deal with it?
A: These are important questions; let’s take them one at a time. First, embrace the lows of Lent to make the joy of Easter greater? Absolutely. This is the wisdom of the Church. Without suffering it is very difficult for us, in our broken state, to fully experience the joy that God has for us. Kahlil Gibran echoed this thought when he said, “The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain… When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you will see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.” So it is with Lent. The deeper we allow the sorrow to carve into our being during Lent, the more joy we will experience when we celebrate his resurrection! Second, is there any joy found during Lent? Without a doubt. When Mel Gibson was making The Passion of The Christ, he ran into a problem. He recognized that the scenes of Christ’s sufferings were too much to take in any one sitting. He came up with the idea to intersperse flashbacks into the story. This gave just enough relief without totally leaving the theme of Christ’s horrific suffering and death on our behalf. Similarly, during Lent, every Sunday we have a time where we can set aside our fasting and remember not only his suffering but also his resurrection and provision for us in the Mass. Beyond this gift, we maintain our composure through all this because we know the end of the story. Those of us who suffer from lifelong illnesses sometimes are overwhelmed because in the midst of our suffering we don’t know if it will end in this life. With Lent we not only know the end of the story, but we even know the exact date when it it will end. This should give us the courage to persevere through the challenges and purification this season brings to our souls. A few more points about grief and depression. It is one thing to feel great sorrow over our sins and to thereby enter into the deep sufferings of Christ, and another to enter into anything like clinical depression or any other unhealthy spiritual or emotional state. With respect to the former, St. Teresa of Avila, after meditating on Christ’s sufferings on her behalf, would often become overwhelmed with grief and weeping for lengthy periods time. The harm done? Absolutely none. In fact, she attributes a great deal of the work of God in her soul, and the souls of other holy men and women, to this kind of affective meditation. How can you tell the difference? The difference is that someone who is truly experiencing union with Christ and his sufferings will experience two things: 1) Peace: Even with intense suffering of this kind, if we maintain peace in the depths of our souls and feel a greater compulsion to love him for what he has done for us, this is a good indicator that our sorrow is truly godly sorrow rather than an unhealthy state of depression. 2) Virtue: If our heightened sense of his love for us and our corresponding love for him leads us to deepen our prayer, expand our acts of charity, or further intensify our mortification, then, again, our suffering is likely sourced in God’s real and active presence in our meditation. St. Paul in his second letter to the Corinthians clearly echoes these truths (emphasis mine):
Finally, if you find yourself with a sorrow that does not meet the test of “godly sorrow” you can do two things about it. First, go absorb yourself in service to others – particularly those less fortunate than you. If the enemy is behind the anxiety in your heart, responding with love toward God and others will drive this oppression away. If you continue to struggle, make sure you talk with your spiritual director to get more specific insights into how you can make this season one in which you grow in your love and knowledge of Christ and in the virtuous life. He is real, present, and good… may he always be so to you, Dan An interview with Father Jacques Philippe on prayer and “Time for God”
Q: You describe mental prayer or interior prayer as something that does not involve technique. How, then, does it work? Father Philippe: It would be better to say interior prayer instead of mental prayer, because in our modern culture, the word “mental” is associated with thoughts — as something cerebral — whereas this form of prayer is more an affair of the heart, instead of reflection. St. Teresa of Avila said that it is not an act of thinking much, but of loving much. Interior prayer is not a question of technique. It is not a process that can be controlled because it is a meeting with God, who infinitely surpasses anything we can achieve through our own efforts. What must be essentially understood is that there is no method, but an interior attitude. For interior prayer, there are three principles: a true desire for God; the confidence that God will allow us find that which we are looking for; and finally, humility: To accept our poverty and to wait for the goodness and love of God in all things. Q: What is the fruit of interior prayer? And why is it important? Isn’t adherence to the sacraments enough? Father Philippe: Interior prayer permits the sacramental life to be more fruitful, more alive, more intense. It is important because it is there that we see and endlessly deepen the most essential dimension of Christian life: the personal relationship of trust and love that is established between God and each of his children, the reciprocal exchange where we give ourselves to God and where God gives himself to us. According to Pope John Paul II in “Novo Millenio Ineunte,” this reciprocity is “the very substance and soul of the Christian life, and the condition of all true pastoral life.” Q: How does mental prayer differ from those who would wish to compare it to yoga or Buddhist practices? Father Philippe: The fundamental difference is that it is a question of living and deepening the relationship of one person to another with God, and it is not solely to acquire the power to practice an interior or psychic state. The possibility of this interpersonal relationship is not founded on initiative or skill, but on God’s desire to reveal himself and to communicate through love. Moreover, God acts within the Holy Trinity revealed in the New Testament: Through Jesus and thanks to the action of the Holy Spirit, we can enter into communion with the Father. Q: You describe mental prayer as “just spending time” with God, like two people in love would, but this can often feel like nothing is happening. Could something be happening interiorly despite the feeling that there isn’t? Or even during times when one is distracted? Father Philippe: The life of prayer is much deeper than the intelligence or the senses can perceive. Even when prayer is poor and distracted, provided that it is made with sincerity and faith, God can communicate secretly with the soul. He puts into it the treasures of light and the power of peace that is often made manifest at other times in life instead of just during prayer itself. And if one perseveres despite times of aridity, there will always be moments when God visits and makes his presence felt. Q: In today’s world, many people just don’t seem to have time to spend half an hour or an hour in silent prayer. How can it be fit in? Does it always have to be practiced in a church? Father Philippe: When one activity is considered vital, we find time to do it. The fundamental question is “what are our priorities?” We must be convinced that God will give us a hundred-fold the time that we devote to him in prayer. If we give part of our time to God with fidelity and perseverance, even just a quarter of an hour ever day, our life will be more peaceful and more fruitful. We can pray at a church, as there is a lot of grace when praying in the presence of the Holy Sacrament, but we can also pray in a corner of our room in front of an icon, out in nature, or even on the bus or the subway. Q: Many people only want to pray when they have an interior prompting to do so. Why is this not helpful both in prayer and in arriving at true interior freedom? Father Philippe: All love relationships need, in order to grow, a choice for fidelity. If a husband loves his wife only when he feels the spirit to do so, the relationship will remain superficial, on only an emotional level. Fidelity and perseverance allow love to move beyond merely the sentimental and to become something very beautiful and rich, a life shared, a mutual gift of persons, one to another. In every love relationship there are times of crisis and difficulty, but if we persevere with fidelity, the love will become stronger and truer. To purchase Father Philippe’s book “Time for God” and support this site, click here. Seek Him – Find Him – Follow Him Dan Time for God – Book Recommendation
Father Philippe begins this fantastic book by laying the foundations of the heart of Christian mental prayer and meditation – God’s grace. He then provides a very clear and helpful contrast between Christian prayer and conflicting spiritual traditions that have recently made their way into Catholic spirituality. Through the remainder of the book he does a masterful job of drawing from the rich depths of the Carmelite tradition (St. Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross, etc.) to provide a meaningful review of key principals of meditative prayer. If you are seeking to better understand mental prayer, contemplation, how to deepen your own prayer life, how to overcome struggles with prayer, you can’t go wrong with Father Philippe’s faithful and coherent treatment of these topics. This really is a must read for both spiritual directors and those seeking greater depths in their prayer lives. Major topic headings for the book:
To purchase this book and support this site, click here. Seek Him – Find Him – Follow Him Dan PS: You might wonder why I have this book categorized in “Centering Prayer” and “PsuedoSpirituality.” The reason is that the book provides the most concise, coherent, and charitable treatment of the modern synthesis of Catholic and non-Christian prayer practices. Prayer Primer: Igniting a Fire Within – Book Recommendation
This is a must read for those looking either to begin, or to deepen their prayer lives. Father Dubay, with brevity and clarity, covers all the foundational elements of each type of prayer (vocal, liturgical, mental, contemplative, etc.). For those already experienced with vocal or liturgical prayer, this book will help you evaluate your prayer life and determine how to further develop your relationship with God. For those who already have a solid understanding of meditation and contemplation (within the context of the definitions provided by the Church and the spiritual doctors of the Church), you might look to “Fire Within” instead (by the same author). However, even with experience in these areas, this book might prepare you well to evaluate your prayer life in each important area and move to better navigate deeper waters. Regardless of who you are, if you are beginning or reigniting your prayer quest – this book should be the first book you pick up. Seek Him – Find Him – Follow Him Dan Purchase Now – Please Buy from Us to Support Our Service to You and Others! A Simple Guide to Christian MeditationTo serve you in your commitment to prayer this Advent season, Father John has provided a simple introductory guide to Christian meditation. Each day you should reserve some time – 5, 10, or 15 minutes can be a good start – to spend in quiet, heart-to-heart conversation with Christ. This is called Christian meditation. The goal of this kind of prayer is to deepen your personal relationship with Christ, praising God and receiving his grace, and to identify yourself more and more with the purpose of your life: to live in communion with God through the fulfillment of his will. As you develop the habit of this prayer, you will find ways to personalize the method. To begin, however, and in order to overcome the distractions and dryness common to those starting off on a more demanding life of prayer, the following structure has shown to be of great utility. Be sure to choose a time and place conducive to the silence and attention required; most spiritual masters recommend that we do our meditation early in the day, before the thousand cares of this busy world tangle us up in their knots. They also recommend that we do it at the same time every day, and in the same place, somewhere quiet, where we know that interruptions and distractions will be limited. More important than the time and place, however, is the commitment to make meditation part of your daily spiritual fare, no matter how busy you get or little you feel like praying. Your meditation can be divided into 4 steps – the four “C”s: Concentrate, Consider, Converse, Commit. Concentrate This simply means focusing your attention on God, on his presence, on your relationship with him. You renew your faith, your love, your hope in him. You ask him for the particular grace you are seeking in this time together with him. You recall that he created you and is interested in you – so much so that he sent his Son to save you and established the Church to guide you to your eternal home. This first step of your prayer means concentrating on your true center: your identity as a creature, a beloved child of God in need of his grace. Consider In the second step of your meditation you take a passage from Scripture, or from a spiritual book, or the Catechism, of the writings of a saint, or even a sacred image or a beautiful natural landscape (you work out what kind of material is best for you through experimentation and the guidance of a spiritual director) and you read it over. You reflect on what it means, what it tells you about God and his ways and his plans, and what it means for you personally, in your particular situation and state in life. In this stage you ponder in your mind and heart some truth or aspect of God’s revelation, you apply it to your life and make it your own. Sometimes asking questions can help your consideration: what is the meaning of the passage? What are its key words? What is going on here? How would I express it in my own words? Converse Here is the core of the meditation: a heart-to-heart conversation with Christ about the passage you have been considering and the insights that the Holy Spirit has been giving you. This intimate, personal exchange is what separates Christian meditation from other merely psychological exercises that don’t move beyond concentration. Here is the mark of true prayer, where you respond to the Word of God with words of your own, expressing your admiration, your gratitude, your love, your confusion, your need – whatever the consideration stirred up in your soul. You also give him time and room to speak to you. He often chooses to do this not with words or even ideas, but by moving your will, by directly touching your heart. (Try not to get hung up on hearing him explicitly every day, but you should be able to look back over several days or weeks and recognize his action in your prayer life.) As you converse, in the silent depths of your heart you open yourself to God, offering your life and inviting him once again to come and show you the way to a living communion with him. All the other steps of the meditation are directed to this step, so if you only need a brief moment of concentration and consideration in order to enter into heartfelt conversation with the One who loves you, don’t dawdle on steps one and two. Normally, however, we need to gather our attention in order to be able to hear and respond to the Word of God, and steps one and two help us to do that. Commit Finish your prayer by letting it affect your life: commit yourself to do something concrete today as a result of the time you spent with our Lord, whatever you think the Lord is asking of you or whatever you think would please him. Whether it means making an extra visit to a chapel to spend more time with him, or asking someone to forgive yesterday’s temperamental outburst, or visiting someone who is in the hospital, or calling that person who needs a call – something concrete, measurable, real; something about which you can say at the end of the day: yes, I did that, or no, I didn’t. This insures that our prayer life doesn’t become a mere psychological sedative or an exercise of vanity. As you offer this commitment to the Lord, thank him for his presence and the graces he has given you during this time of prayer, ask pardon for your distractions (especially if you invited them or gave in to them out of laziness or lack of faith), and finish by entrusting the fruits of your prayer to the Blessed Virgin Mary through reciting a Hail Mary. End with the sign of the cross, and then go forth to glorify God by fulfilling his will out of faith, hope, and love. Yours in Christ, Father John Bartunek, LC For a more in-depth treatment of Christ-Centered Christian Meditation, check out Father John’s book, “The Better Part.” Click on the ad below and you can pick up a copy specially discounted for our readers.
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