Category: Examination of ConscienceI am stuck in my spiritual growth… how do I get unstuck? This is frustrating! Part II of IIQ: Dear Sister Carmen, I feel like I am stuck in mansion somewhere in mansion one or two. Is this normal? Where do most people get stuck In our first post in this two part series we talked about a few of the reasons we get stuck and touched on the key issues we often face in the first three mansions. In this post, we will provide a little summary of the first three mansions through a brief examination of conscience may help to determine just where you “feel stuck”. Perhaps the following will be of some help. Since one enters the Castle through the gate of prayer the person entering the first mansion already feels drawn to prayer. Teresa does not talk much about prayer in the first three mansions but she does talk about what may help or hinder prayer. First Mansion
Second Mansion
Third Mansion In the third mansion we see that true conformity with God’s Will is reached only when our “false gods” (centers of our lives) die and integration takes place not only in relation among these centers, but new life emerges as a result. “Unless the seed falls into the ground and dies…”
Teresa speaks of seven mansions or main rooms. But there are rooms within each mansion. Our movement within these “rooms” is fluid not static. Although we may spend more time in one room than in another we tend to move in and out and may have brief glimpses of rooms to come, if the Lord chooses. This whole process is about change or transformation. Change can take place only through our generosity and willingness to surrender. In the example of our butterfly above there are four main life cycles: 1) the egg or beginning stage; 2) the caterpillar or growth stage; 3) the chrysalis or transformation stage; and 4) the adult or perfected stage. We might compare the growth stage here of the caterpillar to the first three mansions. Without this growth the transformation might never take place and thus perfection would be stunted. This is all a preparation for what lies beyond the first three mansions which is God’s to give not ours to produce.
PS: To learn more about the Carmelite Sisters visit our web site: www.carmelitesistersocd.com and for more information please contact the sisters at contact@carmelitesistersocd.com, or 626-289-1353 Ext. 246, 920 East Alhambra Road, Alhambra, California 91801. I am stuck in my spiritual growth… how do I get unstuck? This is frustrating! Part I of IIQ: Dear Sister Carmen, I feel like I am stuck in mansion somewhere in mansion one or two. Is this normal? Where do most people get stuck in the journey through the mansions and is there any common way you can suggest that we get unstuck? Maybe I am just impatient. I feel like A: Teresa posits conformity to God’s will as the first principle of spiritual growth In her Way of Perfection: Chapter 16. She reminds us of the necessity of “keeping our eyes fixed on You; if we were to look at nothing else but the way, we would soon arrive.” Teresa herself had sufficient experience in her own life of a lack of focus due to the many preoccupations which diverted her eyes from the Lord, thus drawing her out of herself and out of her interior center back into the world around her. Because of this struggle she gave up prayer for many years. So too our attention can be drawn away from the Lord and dissipated in many directions so that we are no longer in our own center. The Lord continued to call Teresa from His Presence in the Center of the Castle of her soul; this entry back into the castle was prayer – that intimate voice – leading her through the gate into the Mystery of divine intimacy. It is only when we assume a posture of loving attentiveness where the Lord’s voice becomes the First Voice that the rest of the pieces of our life fall into place. As children we often delighted in looking through a kaleidoscope to view broken pieces of colored glass falling into new patterns of color. The possibilities seemed endless. The more conformed our lives are to Our Lord’s the more the broken pieces of our lives catch the reflection of Christ thus producing a kaleidoscope of endless arrangements of stunning beauty. There is a “getting stuck” when we are not serious about our prayer life or intimate relationship with the Lord and thus make little or no effort to climb out of our comfort zone and therefore move forward. This may even result in our slipping backward. But what we term “getting stuck” may also be due to our impatience to move into the next rooms before we are ready. When a butterfly has rested after coming out of the chrysalis, it will pump blood into its wings in order to get them working and flapping – so that it can fly. This time is crucial to the flying phase. If in our impatience we were to “help” the butterfly open its wings, the butterfly’s wings would become useless and the butterfly would die. These first three mansions are the soil where we grow in the virtues and in order to do that we must, as mentioned above, become more and more conformed to God’s will. It takes our fidelity and determination, with the help of God’s grace, to continue to draw spiritual nourishment from the present set of circumstances in which we find ourselves. Jesus is present in the midst of the joys and sorrows, confusion, trials, successes, failed plans and messiness of our daily lives. This is where we work out our salvation and sanctification. The temptation is to become distracted through either past situations, present preoccupations, or imagined future ones. This pulls us away from the Present Moment in which we find all the graces needed for our interior growth. We know that growth is necessarily often slow. Teresa tells us that most of us will probably spend a long time in the first three mansions. In this sense she takes the first three mansions as a group for this is where we ourselves are most active in our own growth process. This is where we learn humility, advance in the virtues and grow in generosity. Jesus is the Beloved – how much are we willing to give? Can we ever measure our gift against His? Anything worth doing or worth having requires arduous preparation. We can only receive what we are prepared to receive. God is patient and takes us where we are. He gives accordingly the growth we are ready to embrace. Just as Teresa abandoned prayer for many years before she was willing to detach herself from what was hindering her growth and open herself in abandonment to the Lord, so too we need to take a good look at our “attachments”. God can give much growth in a short time according to the person’s readiness to receive. In our next post we will provide you with a brief examination of conscience that will help you understand where you might be stuck and a little more about what you can do about it.
PS: To learn more about the Carmelite Sisters visit our web site: www.carmelitesistersocd.com and for more information please contact the sisters at contact@carmelitesistersocd.com, or 626-289-1353 Ext. 246, 920 East Alhambra Road, Alhambra, California 91801.
Encounter With Mercy
I am happy to announce the first official publication of Catholic Spiritual Direction! The forward is written by Cardinal Justin Rigali. This step-by-step guide is compact (back pocket or purse size), simple to read, and perfect for rediscovering or deepening our understanding and practice of one of the greatest gifts we have as Catholics. Read inspiring stories, learn the reasons confession is important, understand the Bible’s answers to common objections, and find out how you can promote confession to those around you. Buy one for yourself and several to give away! To purchase, click HERE and please tell your friends about this important guide! Here’s A Summary of this Fantastic Resource:
A new diagnosis of my root sin…
This sounds like a traumatic event, and it was. But, after suffering from inexplicable symptoms for so many years, it brought me a measure of relief. If we could determine the root cause of my suffering, there was at least some hope of a remedy. So, though some would see news like this as tragic, for me it was a blessing, the beginning of healing. Parallel with the basic elements of this experience, I recently had a revelation about my root sin. Years prior, I had, with my spiritual director, diagnosed it as sensuality. This was primarily due to specific struggles or symptoms I was experiencing because of severe health challenges. At that time, most of my battle with sin had some connection to my physical suffering. Constant pain and other symptoms revealed much in me that was far less than Christ-like. By God’s mercy, the pain and other suffering has decreased dramatically and I have moved back into a more tolerable state of health. Since that time I ended up working on a project with a holy and insightful priest. One day during a personal conversation I revealed my root sin to him and he replied, “I would have never guessed that sensuality is your root sin.” I was surprised because he had come to know me very well. I asked him, with some measure of discomfort, “How would you diagnose my root sin? “Pride” he said. My heart sank. “Pride” I thought, “this is an ugly sin.” “This can’t be my sin.” “I am far too reasonable and open to feedback.” “I am far too aware of my own sin and spiritual frailty.” I smiled at the foolishness of my reaction and I suspected that he was right. So, I went back the the drawing board. I decided to dig in to see if he was right. I talked to my spiritual director and then I went back over the symptoms of each of the root sins. For about a week I took notes every time I acted in a manner that did not seem in keeping with the fruits of the Holy Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, etc.). As you might guess, to my dismay, I discovered he was right. Though this was a painful discovery, it was also a powerful one. My root sin had not changed, but circumstances forced me to focus elsewhere for a time. This was not a bad thing in any way. The pursuit of holiness, even in this sideways manner, is always good. I was able to overcome, by God’s help, some behavior patterns that should not have been present in me, even when suffering. Now, I had to reboot my perspective, rework my program of life, and dig in again. Sometimes we misdiagnose our root sins based on delusion and sometimes because of circumstances. In my case, being painfully honest, it was both. It was easy to focus on sins related to my illness, but, I also did not want to believe that my root sin was pride. In fact, I took some pride in my ability to overcome my illness in the way had! My struggles and ability to overcome challenges in this area seemed far more noble than a battle against other sins (pride, pride, pride). Interestingly enough, pride was the initial diagnosis of my first spiritual director. I rejected that diagnosis for many reasons. In summary, I was simply deluded and distracted. The good news is that we don’t have to obsess over whether or not we have achieved a perfect diagnosis of our root sin. What we need to do is make an approximate determination and aggressively move forward in the battle against anything that keeps us from fully loving and serving God and neighbor. It is a painful and inexact process. However, the Holy Spirit will, in due time, always reveal what we need to know and when we need to know it as long as we seek and are open his leading. As Saint Paul said in his letter to the Philippians, “I am confident that He who began a good work in you, will be faithful to complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.” Blessings to you and yours from the halls of the interior castle, Theophilus Shouldn’t we go to confession more frequently than just the minimum required?
A: Thank you for requesting a clarification on this point. Let’s resolve the technical issue first, then I would like to respond to your insightful comments. Clarifying the Precept The footnote to Catechism paragraph 2042 (the one you mention) references the Code of Canon Law, #989, which states:
The term “grave” sin is used in this case almost synonymously with “mortal sin,” as is evident when the Catechism quotes that same number from Canon Law in paragraph 1457. So, the strict obligation is indeed limited to annual confession when one is aware of having committed a mortal sin. For a more detailed discussion of this, I recommend the article found here. Nevertheless, your observations about the utility of more frequent confession are right on target. All spiritual writers agree that frequent confession fosters spiritual strength and maturity, even when we don’t have any mortal sins to confess. Your dentistry analogy is helpful here. St Teresa wasn’t alone in observing that frequent venial sins weaken the soul and prepare it for graver and graver falls, paving the way to habitual mortal sin, just as frequent neglect of one’s teeth leads gradually to serious dental problems. When practiced with humility and a lively spirit of faith, regular confession – not just annually, but monthly or twice a month – can help us identify and repent from our common, venial sins, so that they don’t fester and grow. Together with the grace of the sacrament, this fortifies us against more dangerous temptations and strengthens our friendship with Christ so that even our venial sins become less frequent. That’s why anyone who is sincere about spiritual growth will make the commitment to regular, frequent confession. Double-Layered Protection As you say, we do need to be protected from ourselves. But we also need to recognize that our culture is no longer friendly to Christian values. Behavior considered normal by today’s popular culture is actually corrosive and sinful. It’s as if we were living in an acid bath, and our protective covering is constantly being eroded by the acid of unhealthy social norms. It needs to be regularly refurbished. Perhaps the most glaring example of the subtle, corrosive force of a secularizing culture is seen on college campuses. Good Catholic students show up on campus full of determination to take advantage of their educational opportunity. They have no intention of abandoning their faith or forming habits of sin. But when they are thrown into a campus culture with co-ed dorms, fraternity parties four nights a week, popular and charming professors who glamorize individualism and relativism… Is it any surprise that so many students are no longer going to Mass, praying, or striving for moral integrity by the end of freshman year? The challenge doesn’t end when college ends. When it’s normal for businesses and law firms to wine and dine potential clients by taking them to strip clubs, how long can normal Catholic guys keep up their moral standards? When it’s normal for 44-year-old women to buy their way to looking like they’re still 24, how long can they stay content cultivating their inner beauty as their outer beauty fades? Not very long, unless they recognize their ongoing need for God’s grace and nourish an awareness that they have a mission to spread Christ’s Kingdom in this fallen world. And few spiritual practices foster that recognition and that awareness as effectively as confession. Yours sincerely in Christ , Fr John Bartunek, LC, ThD |
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