How can I know the will of God in my life? – Part I of II

Q: Dear Father John, How can I know what the will of God is in my life? I have been suffering physically for almost a year. I have been praying for healing and others have been praying for me. How do I know if it is God’s will that I continue suffering? I don’t know whether to keep on praying for healing or to just accept this suffering as God’s will. I pray that I may know His will but so far can’t figure out what it is.

A: Clearly, you have a passionate desire to know and embrace God’s will in your life. You should be so grateful for this desire! You are “hungering and thirsting for righteousness” (Matthew 5:6), and so, you are blessed!

The spiritual life is, in its most basic elements, nothing less than a following of Christ, an imitation of him. And his very food – the thing that he hungered for and the thing that nourished and strengthened him – was “to do the will of the one who sent me” (John 4:34). The mere fact that you submitted this question is sure proof that the Holy Spirit is hard at work in your heart, and that you are making an effort to collaborate with him. On the other hand, the interior turbulence that the situation is causing you is most likely not from the Holy Spirit. I hope the following thoughts can help put you more at ease.

Before trying to answer the specific question about your physical suffering, we have to make a theological distinction. The phrase “God’s will” can cause confusion if we don’t identify two broad sub-categories, so to speak: From our perspective, God’s will can be either indicative or permissive.

God’s Indicative Will

God can indicate that he wants us to do certain things – this is his indicative will. In this category we find the Ten Commandments, the commandments of the New Testament (e.g., “love one another as I have loved you” [John 15:12], “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations…” [Matthew 28:19]), the commandments and teachings of the Church (e.g. fasting on Good Friday), the responsibilities of our state in life, and specific inspirations of the Holy Spirit (e.g. when Blessed Mother of Teresa was inspired to start a new religious order to serve the poorest of the poor).

The field of God’s indicative will is humongous. In touches all the normal activities and relationships of every day, which are woven into the tapestry of moral integrity and faithfulness to our life’s calling, plus the endless possibilities of the works of mercy (thus obeying the commandment to “love your neighbor as yourself” [Mark 12:31]).

Yet it not only consists in what we do, but also in how we do it, which opens up the whole arena of growth in Christian virtue. We can wash the dishes (responsibilities of our state in life) with resentment and self-pity, or with love, care, and supernatural joy. We can attend Sunday Mass (Third Commandment and commandment of the Church) apathetically and reluctantly, or with conviction, faith, and attention. We can drive to work (responsibilities of our state in life) seething at the traffic jams, or exercising patience. When we ask ourselves, “What is God’s will for me?”, 88% of the time (more or less) God’s indicative will is crystal clear.

God’s Permissive Will

But the phrase “God’s will” also touches another category of life-experience: suffering. Suffering, of one type or another, is our constant companion as we journey through this fallen world. God has revealed that suffering was not part of his original plan, but rather was the offspring of original sin, which ripped apart the harmony of God’s creation. His indicative will to our first parents in the Garden of Eden was “do not eat the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil” (Genesis 2:17). They disobeyed. Human nature fell; creation fell; evil attained a certain predominance in the human condition, giving rise to “the overwhelming misery which oppresses men and their inclination towards evil and death” (Catechism, 403).

Here is where the distinction between God’s indicative and permissive will comes in. God did not desire or command Adam and Eve to rebel against his plan, but he did permit them to do so. Likewise, throughout human history, God does not will evil to happen (and its consequence of suffering), but he does permit it. He certainly didn’t explicitly will the Holocaust, for example, but, on the other hand, he did permit it.

The question of why God permits some evil and the suffering that comes from it, even the suffering of innocents, is an extremely hard question to answer. Only the Christian faith as a whole gives a satisfactory response to it, a response that can only penetrate our hearts and minds through prayer, study, and the help of God’s grace (See Catechism #309). St Augustine’s short answer is worth mentioning, however. He wrote that if God permits evil to affect us, it is only because he knows that he can use it to bring about a greater good. We may not see that good right away; we may not see it at all during our earthly journey, in fact, but Christ’s Resurrection (Easter Sunday) is the promise that God’s omnipotence and wisdom are never trumped by the apparent triumphs of evil and suffering (Good Friday).

With these basic ideas in place, in our next post we will summarize these principals and then apply them specifically to your question.

Abandonment XX – God’s Will Effects Sanctification

It is only because they do not know how to make use of God’s action that so many Christians spend their lives anxiously pursuing a multitude of methods of perfection. These might prove useful if ordained by God’s will, but they actually become injurious the moment they keep us from simply surrendering ourselves to God’s will. These multiplied means cannot give what we find only in the will of God – that principle of all life which is constantly with us, and which stamps each of its instruments with its own character and causes its original and unique action in us.

Jesus has given us a teacher whom we do not heed sufficiently. He speaks to every heart and to each one he utters the word of life, the only word applicable to us. But we do not hear it. We want to know what he has said to others and do not listen to what has said to us. We do not sufficiently regard circumstances as having been given a supernatural significance by God’s action. We should always accept them with the perfect confidence they merit, with an open heart and with generosity, sure that nothing will harm those who receive them this way. This limitless activity, which is the same from the beginning to the end of time, goes on every moment, giving itself in all its greatness and strength to the simple soul who adores it, loves it, and rejoices in it alone.

You would be delighted, you say, to find an opportunity of dying for God’s sake. Such heroism enchants you. To lose all, to die, forsaken and alone, to sacrifice your life for others – such are the glorious deeds that charm you!

As for me, O Lord, let me glorify Your will in all things. In it I find all the happiness of martyrdom, bodily austerities, and the sacrifice of self for others. Your will is enough, and I am content to live and die as it decrees. It pleases me more for its own sake than all the means it uses and the effects it produces, because it permeates all things and makes them divine, and transforms them all into itself. It is heaven on earth to me, and all my moments are full of God’s action. So living or dying, I shall always remain content with that.

Yes, my Beloved, I shall no longer single out times or ways but shall welcome You always and in any fashion. It seems to me, O divine Will, as if You had revealed your immensity to me. I will walk henceforth in the bosom of Your infinity, You who are the same today, yesterday, and forever. Streams of mercy never-ceasing have their springs in You. From You they begin and continue, and they are changed at Your will. No longer will I seek You within narrow limits of a book or the life of a saint, or of some sublime idea. No, these are but drops of that great ocean that covers every created thing. Your divine will floods them all. They are but atoms that disappear  in this unfathomable sea. I will no longer look for Your will merely in the thoughts of spiritual persons. No longer will I beg my bread from door to door. I will depend on no creature, but I will live as the child of an infinitely good, wise and powerful Father whom I desire to please and make happy. I would live as I believe, and since Your activity works in everything and at every moment for my sanctification, I will draw my life from this great and boundless reservoir, ever present and ever available in the most practical way.

Is there any creature anywhere whose action equals that of God? And since this uncreated Hand directs all that comes to me shall I go in search of aid from created things? Such creatures are powerless, ignorant, and indifferent to me, and I should die of thirst rushing from one fountain to another, from one stream to another, when there is a sea at hand whose waters surround me on every side.

Yes, all that happens to me becomes bread to nourish me, soap to cleanse me, fire to purify me, a chisel to carve heavenly features on me. Everything is a channel of grace for my needs. The very thing I sought everywhere else seeks me incessantly, and gives itself to me by means of all created things.

O Love of God, will men never see that You meet them at every step, while they seek You here and there, where You are not to be found? How foolish to be in open country and not breathe its pure air! to search for a spot on which to place my foot when I may find Him and taste Him and find His will present in everything!

Good people, do you seek the secret of belonging to God? The only way is to make use of everything He sends you. Everything leads to this union. Everything may perfect it except sin and that which is contrary to your duty. You have but to accept all that he sends and let it do its work in you.

Everything is intended to guide, uphold and support you. Everything is the hand of God. God’s action is vaster and more present to you than the elements of earth, air, and water. God will even enter by means of all the senses, provided you use them only as He ordains, because you must guard them and close them to all that is contrary to His will. There is not a single atom in your frame, even the marrow of your bones, that is not formed by divine power. From that power everything proceeds. By it all things are made. Your very life-blood flows through your veins by movement His power imparts. All the variations of your system, between strength and weakness, sluggishness and liveliness, life and death are divine means put in motion to effect your sanctification. Under His will, every bodily state becomes an operation of grace. All your thoughts, all your emotions, whatever their apparent source, proceed from this invisible hand. No created mind or heart can teach you what His divine action will do in you. You will learn it through experience. Your life flows on unceasingly into this unfathomable Sea, where we have but to love and accept at best what each present moment brings, with perfect trust in God’s divine action, His will which can only work for good.

Yes, divine Love! All souls might attain supernatural, praiseworthy, incomparably sublime states if they would only be satisfied with Your will in action!

Yes, if they would but leave matters in this divine hand, they would attain a notable degree of holiness! Everyone would arrive at it because it is offered to all. You have but to open your heart and God will act. Every soul possesses in You, O God, an infinitely perfect model, and by Your action You work ceaselessly to make us in Your image. If we were faithful, we would all live, act and speak divinely. We would not need to copy one another, but would be shaped individually through the most ordinary things.

How, O my God, can I make your children appreciate what is offered to them? Must I, possessing a treasure that could make the whole world rich, see beloved souls perish in poverty? Must I watch them withering like plants in a desert when I can show them the source of living waters?

Come, simple souls, you who have no feeling of devotion, no talent, not even the first elements of instruction – you who cannot understand a single spiritual term, who stand astonished at the eloquence of the learned whom you admire; come, and I will teach you a secret which will place you far beyond these clever minds. I will make perfection so easy you will find it everywhere and in everything. I will unite you to God, and He will hold you by the hand from the moment you begin to practice what I tell you. Come, not to learn the map of this spiritual country, but to possess it, to walk in it at your ease without fear of losing your way. Come, not to study the theory of God’s grace, or to learn what it has done in the past and is still doing, but simply to be open yourself to what it can do. You do not need to know what it has said to others, or repeat words intended only for them which you have overheard. His grace will speak to you, yourself, what is best for you.

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Abandonment XII – Finding the Will of God

If we are able to greet each passing moment as the manifestation of the will of God, we will find in it all our heart can desire. What could there be more reasonable, more perfect, more divine than the will of God? Could any change of time or place or circumstance alter or increase its infinite value? If you possess the secret of discovering it at every moment and in everything, then you possess all that is most precious and worthy to be desired. What is it that you seek, you who desire to become holy? Give full scope to your longings. Your wishes need have no measure, no limit. However much you may desire, I can show you how to attain it, even though it be infinite. There is never a moment in which I cannot enable you to obtain all that you can desire.

The present moment is always filled with infinite treasure. It contains more than you have the capacity to hold. Faith is the measure of these treasures; according to your faith you will receive. Love also is the measure. The more the heart loves, the more it desires, and the more it desires, the more it will receive. The will of God is constantly before you like an immense, inexhaustible ocean that no human heart can fathom; but none can receive from it more than he has the capacity to contain. It is necessary to enlarge this capacity by faith, confidence, and love.

The whole universe cannot fill the human heart, for its capacity is greater than anything other than God. It is on a higher plane than the material creation, and for this reason, nothing material can satisfy it. The divine will is a deep sea, the surface of which is the present moment. If you plunge into this sea you will find it infinitely more vast than your desires. Offer no homage to creatures; do not adore your own illusions. They can neither give you anything nor deprive you of anything. Receive your fulness from the will of God alone, and it will not leave you empty. Adore it, put it first, before all things. Tear all disguises from vain pretenses and forsake them all going straight to the sole reality. The reign of faith is death to the senses; it is their spoilation, their destruction. The senses worship the physical. Faith adores God’s divine will. Destroy the idols of the senses and they will weep and rebel, but faith must triumph, because the will of God cannot be separated from it. When the senses are terrified, famished, despoiled or crushed, then it is that faith is enriched and nourished. Faith laughs at these calamities as the commander of an impregnable fortress mocks at the useless attacks of an impotent foe.

When we recognize the will of God and surrender entirely to it, then God gives Himself to us and we experience the most powerful assistance in all difficulties. Thus we enjoy great happiness in this coming of God, and the more we learn to surrender ourselves to His all-adorable will at every moment, the more joy we have.

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