Tag: Spiritual DirectorHow can I become a spiritual director?
A: When thinking about spiritual direction my mind is drawn to the incredible responsibility it is to have another soul placed in my care. No one in their right mind would want to have this responsibility – unless God has specifically called them to it. The only thing I can compare it to is when someone hands me their newborn baby. When that happens I am instantly attuned to the fragility and precious nature of the gift I take into my hands. Immediately a sense of heightened responsibility comes over me and I am extremely careful about every move. I want to delight in God’s creation, but I am also profoundly aware that I am being cautiously and joyfully observed and could easily cause the infant harm if I am not careful. So it is with a human soul. If we are not profoundly humbled and properly fearful about handling that soul, then we are not likely called into this sacred relationship. The next idea that comes to mind is regarding your relationship to Christ. Do you have a deep and meaningful prayer life? Are you regularly and specifically pursuing Christ and a life of virtue that reflects His virtues? If your answers to these questions are a whole-hearted “yes” then you are probably on the right track. If you spend very little time in prayer (especially mental prayer) and spiritual reading, are not very specific and active in living a life of virtue, and don’t have your own rule of life in place, you may not be ready to lead others yet. Spiritual Direction is something like being a mountain climbing guide. A guide knows the many different ways to climb. He or she knows what to do when an unexpected storm rolls over the horizon, or when a less experienced climber gets stuck or injured. They are able to guide people because they have already explored the mountain that someone else desires to climb. This doesn’t mean that they are perfect in their technique or all knowing in every aspect of spirituality, but they do need to have a strong sense of direction in the spiritual life. They need to know the paths that lies ahead of the directee and then have the ability to be very sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s unique leading for each person. With respect to programs and certifications, I only don’t have much good news for you. Universal standards and certifications approved by the Church don’t exist. The only faithful school of spiritual direction that I am aware of is offered by The Marian Servants of Divine Providence in Clearwater Florida. Every school I have researched is infested by New Age or other non-Catholic spiritualities. This doesn’t mean there are not others out there, but this is the only faithful one that I have discovered thus far. If you are seriously considering a call to spiritual direction, this would be an excellent way to go. That said, the most important requirement you need to have in place is a vibrant, active, and personal relationship with Christ and His Church. If this is a good description of your faith, then you may be on the right path. The final factor is whether or not you have been in spiritual direction yourself. Anyone who is offering direction should be in direction themselves. If you value spiritual direction enough to fight through all the challenges of finding and maintaining a relationship, you are on the right track. If you are not discouraged by all of these lofty recommendations then you are at least on your way to a legitimate exploration of your calling in this area. To help you a bit more on your way you can find a recommended reading list for current and would-be spiritual directors here. Spiritual Guides, Spiritual Directors, and Spiritual Mentors – What’s the difference?Q: Dear Dan, What is the difference between a spiritual director or mentor? I have heard the terms used interchangeably… are they the A: Good question. Depending upon the source of training of the spiritual director, there are different types or titles of those who offer spiritual direction. For instance, a number of movements in the Church offer training for lay people so that they can provide spiritual direction. These organizations often make a distinction between ordained (men) or consecrated (men and/or women), referring to them as “spiritual directors,” and laypersons who might be called “spiritual guides” or “spiritual mentors.” The distinction is usually a reflection of the level of training and education possessed by the one providing the guidance. When these distinctions are made, it is likely that those with the title “Spiritual Director” have received a level of formation that is higher than those who might be called “Spiritual Mentors” or “Spiritual Guides.” It is important not to get caught up in the specific titles. Nor would it be appropriate to assume that someone with a lower level of formation would be less equipped to help you with your spiritual life. Spending time with another soul that is aggressively pursuing Christ and has some experience that exceeds yours can be very beneficial. The goal is to understand and pursue Christ in the process regardless of the specific titles that may or may not be applied to the individuals available to help you do so. PS: This post is an excerpt from Dan’s upcoming book on Spiritual Direction and Spiritual Growth. If you would like to be personally updated on the progress of this book or to have Dan speak at your parish or Catholic group, send an email to RCSpiritualDirection@gmail.com. Other Posts on Spiritual Direction:
How do I find and select a spiritual director?
A. Finding a spiritual director usually follows four steps: First, you need to remember what spiritual direction is all about. The role of a spiritual director is not to tell you what to do, the way a boss or a military drill sergeant does. Rather, a spiritual director helps you discover and accept what God is doing in your life and what God is asking you to do. Spiritual direction is an ongoing conversation between you, the director, and the Holy Spirit about how you can know, love, and follow Christ more fully. Second, you need to understand the necessary qualities of a good spiritual director. Objectively, the person needs to be prudent, practical, knowledgeable (about the faith and the spiritual life), and balanced. This is the kind of person who is an excellent listener, and who is not afraid to be honest and demanding with you, and to make sure you are being honest with yourself. The person doesn’t need to be a genius. They should tend to be optimistic without being a polyanna. They should in some way show enthusiasm for the things of God. They need to be someone energetically engaged in their own pursuit of holiness, so that they speak not only from theory, but also from experience. Subjectively, it needs to be someone you can trust – either someone you already trust, or someone who easily and naturally wins your trust during the first few times you meet. Third, pray. Remember that your Father in heaven “already knows what you need before you ask him.” Your heartfelt desire to go deeper in your spiritual life is already a gift from God. He will guide you towards someone who can help satisfy it. Fourth, start looking. Usually it is a good idea to start by looking for a priest. The most common way is to come across someone by reference: the recommendation of someone you know, the substantial and helpful preaching that you have consistently heard from him, his written material that has helped you considerably, the priest who spends a lot of time hearing confessions and has shown a pastor’s heart to you in the confessional… By now you are probably already thinking of someone you could ask (it may be your pastor, or a priest friend, or someone you have heard about). If not, try asking around or looking around for a respected retreat director in your area, or an esteemed chaplain at a school. Sometimes retired priests are good candidates. If someone who is not a priest comes immediately to mind as you think about who to ask (an older lay person, a religious, a professor you once had…), that is fine. John Paul II’s first spiritual director (when he was a college student) was a layman. Generally, a priest will have more spiritual experience himself and a more in-depth theological training, but that is not always the case. If you find a lay person of the same gender as yourself who fits the above description and is willing to mentor you spiritually, great. Once you find someone (it may take some time), ask them if they would be willing to be your spiritual director, or at least to help guide you in your pursuit of holiness. But remember, even when you have found a spiritual director, you are still the person in charge of your life-project. Sometimes we expect (or want) the spiritual director to do everything for us – all the thinking and all the deciding. Not so. The director is like a consultant. Unless you are taking the initiative, being open and sincere, and responding to the director’s guidance and suggestions with healthy docility, you will end up finding yourself hopping around from director to director in a vain effort to grasp holiness without stepping outside your comfort zone. How do I find and select a spiritual director?
First, you need to remember what spiritual direction is all about. The role of a spiritual director is not to tell you what to do, the way a boss or a military drill sergeant does. Rather, a spiritual director helps you discover and accept what God is doing in your life and what God is asking you to do. Spiritual direction is an ongoing conversation between you, the director, and the Holy Spirit about how you can know, love, and follow Christ more fully. Second, you need to understand the necessary qualities of a good spiritual director. Objectively, the person needs to be prudent, practical, knowledgeable (about the faith and the spiritual life), and balanced. This is the kind of person who is an excellent listener, and who is not afraid to be honest and demanding with you, and to make sure you are being honest with yourself. The person doesn’t need to be a genius. They should tend to be optimistic without being a polyanna. They should in some way show enthusiasm for the things of God. They need to be someone energetically engaged in their own pursuit of holiness, so that they speak not only from theory, but also from experience. Subjectively, it needs to be someone you can trust – either someone you already trust, or someone who easily and naturally wins your trust during the first few times you meet. Third, pray. Remember that your Father in heaven “already knows what you need before you ask him.” Your heartfelt desire to go deeper in your spiritual life is already a gift from God. He will guide you towards someone who can help satisfy it. Fourth, start looking. Usually it is a good idea to start by looking for a priest. The most common way is to come across someone by reference: the recommendation of someone you know, the substantial and helpful preaching that you have consistently heard from him, his written material that has helped you considerably, the priest who spends a lot of time hearing confessions and has shown a pastor’s heart to you in the confessional… By now you are probably already thinking of someone you could ask (it may be your pastor, or a priest friend, or someone you have heard about). If not, try asking around or looking around for a respected retreat director in your area, or an esteemed chaplain at a school. Sometimes retired priests are good candidates. If someone who is not a priest comes immediately to mind as you think about who to ask (an older lay person, a religious, a professor you once had…), that is fine. John Paul II’s first spiritual director (when he was a college student) was a layman. Generally, a priest will have more spiritual experience himself and a more in-depth theological training, but that is not always the case. If you find a lay person of the same gender as yourself who fits the above description and is willing to mentor you spiritually, great. Once you find someone (it may take some time), ask them if they would be willing to be your spiritual director, or at least to help guide you in your pursuit of holiness. But remember, even when you have found a spiritual director, you are still the person in charge of your life-project. Sometimes we expect (or want) the spiritual director to do everything for us – all the thinking and all the deciding. Not so. The director is like a consultant. Unless you are taking the initiative, being open and sincere, and responding to the director’s guidance and suggestions with healthy docility, you will end up finding yourself hopping around from director to director in a vain effort to grasp holiness without stepping outside your comfort zone. Yours in Christ, Father John Bartunek, LC
|
|
|
Q: Dear Father John, what is the best way to find a Spiritual Director? Should it be your pastor? A friend? Or someone whom you do not know when you begin?
