Tag: ScrupulosityShould I refrain from communion if I don’t remember when I last ate?
A: None of us, not even the priest offering the Mass himself, knows the exact moment when he will be receiving Holy Communion. If someone uses the hour of fast as a directive that he must eat something right up until an hour before he will receive Holy Communion, problems can ensue. A good way to get avoid this distraction is to refrain from eating food an hour before the Mass starts. This way, you’ll be certain at every Mass you attend that the fast has been satisfied and will be able to receive Our Lord as He wants you to do. Trent Beattie lives in Seattle, Washington. He is the author of the newly-released book on scrupulosity, Scruples and Sainthood: Accepting and Overcoming Scrupulosity With the Help of the Saints, and he selected the daily meditations for Saint Alphonsus Liguori for Every Day. Other Helpful Posts on Overcoming Scrupulosity I am always worrying that God is not happy with me…
A: A good way to overcome this doubt is to stop looking for validation, because the very search for it tends to make one feel even worse. As long as you have surrendered yourself to God and are doing all the Church requires of you, there is no need to search for sensible consolation. God does not require us to feel holy, but to be holy. This is what a man in his early twenties learned. He was a very dedicated Catholic, but wondered whether God was pleased with him, which brought about much depression and anxiety. He wrote,
However, this young man came to the realization that he would find peace of mind by ceasing his search for it. He replaced this search with prayerful surrender to Divine Providence, writing, “
When the search ceased, he found tranquility and peace. Who was this young man? The first canonized American male: Saint John Neumann. Trent Beattie lives in Seattle, Washington. He is the author of the newly-released book on scrupulosity, Scruples and Sainthood: Accepting and Overcoming Scrupulosity With the Help of the Saints, and he selected the daily meditations for Saint Alphonsus Liguori for Every Day. For More Help With Scrupulosity: I am struggling with scrupulosity, can I overcome this on my own?Q: Dear Trent, I tend to worry about trivial details, even to the point A: Thanks for your question on this central aspect of overcoming scrupulosity. It can be tempting to try to solve problems without any help, but consdier this observation about that: you’ve been your own spiritual director up to now but it doesn’t sound like it has worked out all that well… That sentence alone could suffice for an answer, but here’s a little more: It can be difficult for us to diagnose and deal with our own problems, but it tends to be very easy for others to do so for us, and us for others. A question about myself may take up hours, days, or even weeks of wondering, but if someone asked me the same question about himself, I could give a response within seconds. It is far easier for us to see others objectively than to see ourselves objectively. Priests have the added grace to enable them to guide souls in spiritual matters, which makes spiritual direction very beneficial to the scrupulous. It is true that a priest could give bad direction, but this problem can be avoided by doing the necessary research. Saint Alphonsus Liguori, the patron of the scrupulous, wrote to nuns regarding the matter of spiritual directors and confessors. He stated, “For the nun that sincerely desires to become a saint and wishes for nothing but God, every confessor that is appointed by her bishop is a safe guide.” The laity can take that advice as well. When contacting your local bishop, it would be a good idea to ask him for the names of three priests in your area who would be able to help you. If you don’t recognize the names already, you could look into their backgrounds and then go to the one most likely to help in an orthodox manner. By conducting this preparation beforehand, the possible problem of bad advice can be avoided, as can the possibility that one of the priests would be unable to help because of previous commitments, etc. It is also helpful to remember that it tends to be easy, even for the scrupulous, to spot advice which is certainly sinful. The issue for the scrupulous is centered on those things that may be sinful, and when in doubt, it is safe to go with the advice of a director whose background you are aware of and whom you have accepted. Saint Philip Neri stated that “There is nothing which gives greater security to our actions, or more effectively cuts the snares the devil lays for us, than to follow another person’s will, rather than our own, in doing good.” Trent Beattie lives in Seattle, Washington. He is the author of the newly-released book on scrupulosity, Scruples and Sainthood: Accepting and Overcoming Scrupulosity With the Help of the Saints, and he selected the daily meditations for Saint Alphonsus Liguori for Every Day. Other Helpful Posts How can I begin to see God as a loving Father?
A: This beautiful question reminds me of a quotation from the Catechism that I have often reflected on. I would like to share it with you before offering some suggestions for continuing this discovery of God’s fatherhood in your life (I say “continuing” because it’s clear from your question that the Holy Spirit has already been working deeply to open your heart to God’s gentleness and strength). Here is #239 from the Catechism (emphasis added):
Acts of Faith, Hope, and Love In a sense, we have a built in idea of what fatherhood ought to be. This instinct enables to recognize the shortcomings of our own parents even before we learn explicitly about the Bible and God’s self-revelation. This opens to the door to an initial suggestion for you: consciously make acts of faith, hope, and love. You know that God’s goodness is immense, unlimited, and uncontaminated by any self-centeredness or brokenness. You also know that he knows and loves you personally. These are simply tenets of our Catholic faith that you have received through the grace of baptism. This knowledge can grow in intensity and spread from your mind into your heart, your will, and even your emotions, if you exercise it. One way of exercising it is through the vocal prayers traditionally called “acts of faith, hope, and love.” These are short prayers we say in order to praise God for his goodness and reaffirm our loyalty to him. They can be said in the morning, at night, or even in little snippets of time throughout the day. Saying prayers like these, and really meaning them, exercises our confidence in God, and therefore strengthens it. You can compose your own acts of faith, hope, and love, using words that resonate with your own experience of God, and with the yearning in your heart to cling to him more closely, more freely (that yearning is from the Holy Spirit). But you can also use prayers composed by others. Here is a list of some traditional acts of faith, hope, and love. Below I will share a morning prayer we use in my Congregation, with some comments (in parentheses) that can, I hope, show you what I mean about how these prayers can exercise our confidence in God: Prayer to the Father: Holy Father, it pleased you to create and adopt me So that I would love and invoke you with total trust, as your child. (This places us in God’s strong but gentle embrace. Our life comes from him; it is a gift, a personal gift, that implies a desire on his part for my presence, friendship, confidence… It all starts with him, with his immense goodness, the origin of all things.) I bless you for the love you have shown me By choosing me in Christ, before the world was made, To be holy and perfect in your sight. (This affirms our assurance that God has a plan for our lives. We are not just an accident; we are not lonely wanderers trying to make the best of a meaningless existence; Christ is a savior who involves us in a wonderful and meaningful story, the story of salvation.) You know my frailty, and how much I need your grace to fulfill your holy will; So, Father, in your great love, grant me your grace in accordance with my needs. (This invokes God the Father’s ongoing care for us. He is interested in everything that happens to us and around us. He is involved in our lives. Our sins and weaknesses only increase his solicitude for us and his desire to come to our aid. He will never abandon us.) Increase in my heart the burning zeal that will drive me tirelessly to bring everyone to share in the eternal life that consists in knowing and loving you, the only true God, and the one you sent, Jesus Christ. (Here we ask God to give us the desires, courage, and wisdom we need to fulfill our life’s mission. Again, God is on our side! He cares about us as the very best of Fathers!) Grant me, holy Father, the fortitude I need to shun all sin and imperfection, and do not let me fall into the traps or give in to the temptations that the evil spirit sets for me today. (God is also our protector. We invoke this protection and count on it, and it gives us confidence in the midst of life’s struggles and the spiritual battles we face.)
Another prayer that can be used as a powerful act of faith, hope, and love is Psalm 22 (the Good Shepherd Psalm), reproduced at the end of this post. Christ: The Revelation of God’s Goodness In addition to making acts of faith, hope, and love, the real shortcut to experiencing more and more deeply the strengthening goodness of God’s Fatherhood consists in focusing on his Son. Jesus came to reveal to us the real nature of God, to show us God’s face after original sin had blinded us and distorted our perception of our Creator and Lord: “The Word became flesh so that thus we might know God’s love” (Catechism, #458) You will find no better way to grow in your heartfelt knowledge and experience of God’s goodness, of his infinitely tender and attentive love, then by delving into the “unfathomable riches of Christ” (Ephesians 3:8). The best way to do this is to make mental prayer (Christian meditation – see this post and this resource) a daily staple of your spiritual life, and to use as the subject of your prayer the four Gospels, or worthy commentaries on those Gospels (like this one or this one, for example). Spiritual reading is another excellent tool for growing in this knowledge (find out more about spiritual reading here). Of course, contemplating God’s wonders in creation, admiring his marvels in the lives of the saints, and enjoying the many small pleasures that God sends us each day (from sunsets to songs to Swedish Fish) are all avenues to the same destination – these too are manifestations of God’s goodness, of the Father’s love. A final word about this spiritual quest: be patient. Your question actually touches on a central need of every human heart: the need to rebuild our trust in God. This is the core of the spiritual life, the only path to spiritual maturity and holiness. For this very reason, rehabilitating trust in God is a long process. But that’s okay. Traveling this path is what God wants us to do, and it is in the traveling that we grow, and discover, and gradually experience more and more of the “peace of God, which surpasses all our thinking” (Phil 4:7) – a peace which alone will allow us find the fulfillment God has in store for us.
The Good Shepherd Psalm The Lord is my shepherd; I have everything I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name. Even when I walk through the dark valley of death, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You welcome me as a guest, anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever. (Psalm 23, of King David) Yours sincerely in Christ , Fr John Bartunek, LC, ThD What if I have nothing to confess, should I still go to confession?
A: Your question, it seems to me, can be summarized like this: How can I receive the graces of confession when I am not falling into obvious sin (the kind I used to experience so often)? This is a good question, because of a widespread bad habit. The bad habit is thinking that confession only exists for those times when we sin so grievously that we experience a spiritual earthquake. Without a doubt, this is the primary purpose of the sacrament – to open a way of reconciliation for a baptized Christian who has fallen into grave sin. But popes and spiritual writers in recent centuries have repeatedly and energetically encouraged all of us to practice frequent, regular confession. Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta used to go to confession weekly, as did Pope John Paul II. Obviously, these giants of the faith weren’t confessing mortal sins every week, so what was the reasoning behind their practice of frequent, regular confession? Benefits of Frequent Confession Every sacrament imparts its own particular grace. The sacramental grace of confession is primarily the forgiveness of sins, but it is also, secondarily, the spiritual strengthening of the soul. This is why it is called a sacrament of healing. It heals (reconciles) our relationships with God and with the Church, which have been wounded or broken by personal sin, and at the same time strengthens those relationships. When we break a bone, the body will repair it with an extra dose of calcium, so that the bone is actually stronger at the break point after the healing than it was before the injury. Something similar happens with confession. God pours out his strengthening grace in a special way on the aspects of our spiritual organism, so to speak, that we present to him in confession. Now you can understand why the devil works so hard to keep us away from frequent, regular confession. If our relationship with God has been ruptured (by mortal sin), he doesn’t want it reconciled. But even if it has just been wounded (venial sin), he doesn’t want it strengthened. This sacrament, however, proffers even more benefits to the soul than the sacramental graces of forgiveness and strengthening. Making a good confession requires the arduous task of self-reflection. Ongoing self-examination is, all spiritual writers agree, a basic ingredient in spiritual progress. We have to discover, with God’s help, how miserable and needy we really are, spiritually speaking, in order to open ourselves confidently and eagerly to God’s action. Going to confession is also like doing a major spiritual workout. Through the process of self-examination, repentance, confession, and penance, we exercise every major spiritual-muscle group: the theological virtues (faith, hope, love for God), humility (it’s not exactly self-inflating to kneel down and systematically expose our faults and failings), justice, prudence, fortitude (it takes courage to step into a confessional), and self-denial. This sacrament is like a gymnasium of Christian virtue. Frequent and regular workouts therein will do wonders for our spiritual health. What to Confess? Now we can come to the nitty-gritty of your question. Any valid confession will inundate your soul with these benefits, and the more conscientiously you participate in the sacrament, the better your workout will be. To be valid, a confession needs both sincere repentance (which includes the intention of fulfilling your assigned penance), and the actual confession of sin. When we have obvious sins on our conscience, that it is easy. But as we grow in the spiritual life, the obvious sins tend to diminish. When that happens, we need to examine ourselves more carefully to uncover the hidden attitudes, judgments, and intentions that are still self-centered and not Christ-centered. Scripture warns us that we do not know how deep our selfishness goes: “But who can detect his own failings? Wash away my hidden faults” (Psalm 19:12). This is an excellent topic to discuss in spiritual direction. Yet sometimes we identify failings that were not willful; we just fell into them out of weakness or lack of reflection. Here we can enter a gray area between venial sin, for which we are in some way directly responsible, and what spiritual writers call “imperfections,” for which we are only remotely responsible, if at all. A good example of this is internally judging and criticizing other people. Sometimes we notice ourselves doing that only after we have already been doing it for a few minutes, and we didn’t really consciously decide to start judging them. It is an injustice, but it stems from deep-seeded selfish tendencies, not willful lack of charity (unless we keep doing it even after we notice we were doing it). When the material of confession is in this gray area, it is a healthy practice to end the confession by referring to some past sins that were more obvious. If they have already been confessed, we don’t need to confess them again in detail (that would, as you suggest, be a step towards scrupulosity), but bringing them anew to the Lord is an excellent way to show him that we are truly sorry for all of our sins and failings. So, for example, if in the past your obvious sins had to do with theft, bribery, or fraud, you could finish your regular confession now by saying something like, “… I confess these sins [the ones you have already mentioned] and all the sins of my past life, especially those against the virtue of justice. These are my sins.” Now that we have explored some theoretical and practical aspects of regular, frequent confession, you may be wondering “How frequent and regular should my confession be?” If Mother Teresa went weekly, that’s not a bad yardstick. But that’s not always practical, and it may make you feel pressured. Confession every two weeks will be a turbo boost to your friendship with Christ, and, in today’s corrosive culture, monthly confession is almost the minimum required for someone who is serious about spiritual progress. But remember, the Church only requires us to go to confession annually, if we have a mortal sin on our conscience. Frequent confession is not a duty imposed by the Church; it is simply a heartfelt, wise recommendation. Yours in Christ, Fr John Bartunek, LC, ThD |
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