Pope Benedict XVI on Praying Without Ceasing

Praying without ceasing means: never losing contact with God, letting ourselves be constantly touched by him in the depths of our hearts and, in this way, being penetrated by his light. Only someone who actually knows God can lead others to God. Only someone who leads people to God leads them along the path of life.

Homily on the Solemnity of the Epiphany of the Lord, 2012

When is prayer not prayer at all?

Q: Dear Dan, I read your post about praying at the speed of light. I agree, however, one of the commentators seems to be attempting to dull the point that we must be attentive when we pray for it to be real prayer? They said that it is only our intent that matters. If our intent is all that matters, then what if we regularly intend to pray and be attentive to God but never or rarely are, in fact, attentive to God. Is this really prayer? I understand that God is a God of mercy and that he does take these things into account (our intent) and helps us but it seems to me that we should work hard to be attentive and to love him in practice, not just in our intent. If our intent doesn’t result in a change in our practice, then our intent is suspect – at least in my mind. What do you think?

A: Great question! Why don’t we let St. Teresa of Avila answer this for us? She was designated as a Doctor of the Church because of her profound life of holiness and her teachings on prayer and the interior life. What she has to say about this is very simple and straightforward:

Since vocal prayer is prayer, it must be accompanied by reflection. A prayer in which a person is not aware of whom he is speaking to, what he is asking, who it is who is asking and of whom, I do not call prayer; however much the lips move. Sometimes it will be so without this reflection provided that the soul has these reflections at other times. Nonetheless, anyone who has the habit of speaking before God’s majesty as though he were speaking to a slave, without being careful to see how he is speaking, but saying whatever comes to his head and whatever he has learned from saying at others times, in my opinion is not praying. Please God, may no Christian pray in this way. (Interior Castle 1:1)

Jesus also made a distinction between prayer that is not really prayer and worship that is not really worship, etc. We need to be careful not to seek to transform the “narrow path to life,” into a wide path to destruction.

Is it possible to pray at the speed of light?

Q: Dear Dan, I recently determined that I would begin praying the rosary regularly and as part of that commitment, I attend a weekly rosary prayer group at my parish. I was initially excited to attend but have found that the speed of their prayer is a bit blinding. They prayed an entire mystery along with other prayers in about ten minutes! I don’t quite know how to keep up. Can people really pray at high speed like this? Does it really mean anything if all I am trying to do is keep up and just do it? I know that prayer is supposed to be a conversation, but I have never talked with anyone at this pace!

A: Congratulations on this new chapter in your prayer life! I have no doubt that you will be rewarded for this commitment in more ways than you can imagine. The primary struggle you will face is the temptation to discouragement. Don’t allow your frustration with yourself or others to get the best of you.

What is Prayer?

That said, you have asked a very important question. The first step to answering this question is to ask another: “What is prayer?” The answer provided by the Catechism of the Catholic Church is very simple and clear (2558):

…prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy…

Prayer is a turning, an expression of the heart to God. As we think about this turning, it is best understood in the idea of a communion between persons. God is a person. He became flesh in order to communicate this reality to us. Within the context of persons we understand that communication, true connectedness, requires attention, time, and effort. It means a turning away from the demands of the world, our jobs, and even our own interests in order to give what is necessary to truly nurture a relationship between persons.

We also intuitively understand certain norms for communication between persons. For instance, we know that when one person makes no attempt to communicate with another, that there is likely little love between persons, or a love that is very immature or self-seeking. In contrast, we know that when two people are hand in hand, face to face, and totally absorbed in one another that there is likely to be a great deal of love between them. So it is with our relationship with God.

Can We Pray in Haste?

This all leads to another question, “Can meaningful prayer happen in haste?” Actually, yes it can. However, if haste is the norm, then it is not likely that depth of relationship exists. Now, if the times of depth are common and the times of haste rare, there may be something healthy there. But, profound expressions of love rarely come in and through unmitigated haste. If we truly and profoundly love another, we give our time, our rapt attention, and our hearts to them.

The Rosary and Vain Repetition

The nature of vocal prayer is very challenging in this respect. The good folks who show up at your rosary group are turning their hearts to what can be a relationship. I say “can be” because with vocal prayer there is a temptation to yield to a one-sided approach to relationship and thus allowing it to essentially deteriorate into a non-relationship. We have seen this on a human level when we are speaking with someone and attempting to connect with them and they talk over us or fail to really listen to us. This can also happen when we attempt to communicate important matters “on the fly.” This excessive haste and resulting “vain repetition” as Christ called it in Matthew 6:7, has been a long standing challenge in the Church and is specifically addressed in the Catechism in the section on vocal prayer (2700-2704):

Through his Word, God speaks to man. By words, mental or vocal, our prayer takes flesh. Yet it is most important that the heart should be present to him to whom we are speaking in prayer: “Whether or not our prayer is heard depends not on the number of words, but on the fervor of our souls.

It is “most important that the heart should be present to him.” This is critical. Can our hearts be present as we run by another and shout out what we want them to hear? Can our hearts be present as true lovers of another if we are speaking much and listening little? Can our hearts be present if we are rushing through the motions of communication but not really engaging in the heart of communication?

How To Deal With the Speed Praying Group

I suspect that all of this is affirming what your heart is already telling you. So, what to do about the group? If I were you I would continue attending the group but once you get the mysteries and other prayers memorized and demonstrate a regular commitment to the group after months of faithful participation, volunteer to lead for one or all of the mysteries for that day. Don’t preach to them or express your frustration, instead, gently and patiently lead. In the mean time, spend a good deal of time praying for all hearts in this situation (including yours). Humility is critical in situations like this.

When your turn comes, let them know that you plan to use the method encouraged by Blessed John Paul the II in the letter ROSARIUM VIRGINIS MARIAE (you might also want to send this or some summary out to the group a few weeks before the scheduled time). Here he encourages an approach that mitigates “vain repetition” and offers and approach that is far more meditative and Christ-centered. The basic idea is that it offers up a number of elements for meditation and slows the pace down significantly. Whether or not you are able to implement this approach with your group, you will likely find it very enriching to your private vocal prayer.

Sometimes prayer is so frustrating I just give up… what can I do?

Q: Dear Sister Carmen, in the Second Mansion of the Interior Castle, St. Teresa strongly emphasizes the need for perseverance. Can you help me understand how this works in a practical way? I really struggle to keep a consistent prayer time and to stay focused when I pray. Sometimes it is so frustrating that I just give up. I know this doesn’t help but what can I do?

A: Many doors have a sign over their entrance. If the door leading to the Second Mansion or Dwelling Place were to have a sign, I would imagine it would read, “Where is your treasure?”

Teresa teaches us in her description of the Second Dwelling Place that if we are to reach the Center, the final Dwelling Place, we will have to wage war with Satan. In this Second Mansion we are still caught between the attractions of the world and our final destination. Self-centeredness makes us fearful of trials and penances. The tug-of-war is between falsehood and truth, between sin and virtue, between self-gratification and generosity. We must be determined to bring our wills into conformity with God’s will. To do this we need to avoid occasions of sin: persons, places or things that pull us into the arena of falsehood. To enter into truth we have to be willing to embrace the Cross of Jesus and conform ourselves to Him through the solid practice of virtue, accepting times of dryness in prayer, not becoming discouraged at our human failings, but persevering in our desires to draw closer to God.

A dictionary would define perseverance in these or similar words: a steady persistence in activity, purpose, or a state in spite of difficulties. Isn’t it then reassuring to know that a great saint and mystic, such as St. Teresa of Avila herself, struggled in prayer until she was 41 years of age? Because she also suffered with health problems which weakened her bodily, she gave up on prayer rationalizing her health as an excuse.

Distractions were no stranger to Teresa. Her very temperament shows in her writings as she jumps around from one topic to another leaving the thread of her original thought hanging while she moves on to another lengthy discourse before she eventually returns to what she was saying previously.

The time we spend in prayer is not about our success at it; it is rather about our relationship with Him who loves us. Teresa cautions us not to use “force” to obtain a spirit of recollection but instead to “be gentle” with ourselves. Listening is essential during this stage of our spiritual development. Many voices will vie for our attention: our own inner voice, the voice of the world, the voice of the Tempter, and the voice of God. To sift out God’s voice in this cacophony of voices we need to be determined in our resolutions for good.

Some practical ways of doing this is to set a reasonable length of time for prayer, one we can better achieve. It may be less than what we had hoped to do but as time goes on and we find ourselves looking forward to those moments, we can always increase the length of time that we spend in prayer. We do not want to set an unreasonable goal that will turn us into clock watchers or cause us to grit our teeth until the time we allotted to prayer is over. It is in this Mansion that we come to know more about God and deepen our friendship with Him. This is the Room for a hard work-out; it is not the Mansion for consolations.

In our persevering prayer we gradually become more conscious of God’s Presence. We are with the One we love and we experience many of our Advent dispositions: longing, yearning, expecting, thirsting, and waiting. We are filled with gratitude for the infinite mercy God showers on us. It is in this second mansion that one really learns to pray, but we cannot learn unless we are willing to labor and not return to a former state simply because it required less toil or because we become disheartened. What will make the difference? It depends on what we want most: the things the world holds out to us or intimate union with God. Where does our treasure lie? How much do we desire God? How much are we willing to sacrifice?

Will your mind still wander? Undoubtedly! Do not become anxious. Gently and ceaselessly return your focus to Him and if needed, read some brief passage from Scripture or a devotional prayer and continue to soak in His Presence. But above all, do not use excuses to abandon or omit your prayer time or shorten it (after you have made the reasonable adjustments). With perseverance God will give you blessings beyond your expectations.

Let us remember Teresa’s prayer:

Let nothing trouble you,

Let nothing make you afraid.

All things pass away.

God never changes.

Patience obtains everything.

God alone is enough.

In Him – Sister Carmen Laudis

PS: To learn more about the Carmelite Sisters visit our web site: www.carmelitesistersocd.com and for more information please contact the sisters at contact@carmelitesistersocd.com, or 626-289-1353 Ext. 246, 920 East Alhambra Road, Alhambra, California 91801.

Prayer Primer: Igniting a Fire Within – Book Recommendation

Prayer Primer : Igniting a Fire Within – by Thomas DuBay

This is a must read for those looking either to begin, or to deepen their prayer lives. Father Dubay, with brevity and clarity, covers all the foundational elements of each type of prayer (vocal, liturgical, mental, contemplative, etc.). For those already experienced with vocal or liturgical prayer, this book will help you evaluate your prayer life and determine how to further develop your relationship with God. For those who already have a solid understanding of meditation and contemplation (within the context of the definitions provided by the Church and the spiritual doctors of the Church), you might look to “Fire Within” instead (also by Fr. Dubay). However, even with experience in these areas, this book will equip you with the perspective you need to evaluate your prayer life in each important area and to navigate deeper waters as you grow in grace.

Regardless of who you are, if you are beginning or reigniting your prayer quest – this book should be the first book you pick up. Click here to learn more.