I like dogs better than people, am I off base?

Posted on February 25th, 2012 by Dan Burke

Q: Dear Dan, I was telling a friend of mine the other day that I really prefer dogs to people. He told me that I needed to pray about this and that he thought it was a serious issue for me spiritually. His response really has me baffled. Still, since Lent has me a bit introspective, I thought I would take his challenge seriously. What do you think? Is this just a silly conversation that I am taking too seriously?

A: Dear Friend, just thinking about your conversation made me smile. In a strange twist of providence, I just happened to have read a lenten meditation written by a 19th century Jesuit priest. Before I offer his response, I must publicly affirm that I do believe dogs will be in heaven. Here’s what Fr. Gallwey has to say:

“Some profess to have much love for our Lord, but a strong dislike for men. We hear them say that dogs and horses are much more loveable than Christians. Against such thoughts we must have ready the words of St. John who so well understood all about love: ‘He that loveth not his brother whom he seeth, how can he love God Whom he seeth not?’ (1 John iv) The love of God and love for men must both come down from heaven; and the ordinary rule is, that it is by loving men that we grow in love for God.

Again, some who profess to love our Lord are very kind to one priest, to one church, to one nun, or to a very small select party of lay people, but cold and indifferent, if not harsh, to those outside of this narrow pale. One whose heart is becoming more like the heart of our Savior will, on the contrary, say: ‘I am partner (O Lord) with all them that fear Thee and keep Thy commandments.’ (Psalm cxviii) St. Paul’s heart became much like to our Lord’s; he therefore could weep with all who wept, and rejoice with those in joy. ‘Who is weak that I am not weak? Who is scandalized that I am not on fire?’ (2 Cor xi)”

He then offers this prayer:

Make us, loving Heart of Jesus, love Thee, and for Thy sake all whom Thou lovest. Grant us some share of Thy true and wide-reaching love, that we may be able to say humbly and in all simplicity, ‘All thy friends, O Lord, are my friends.’

May you find a love for your humans that far surpasses your love for your dogs, and thereby, may you find a deeper love for God, and then find your home in heaven with all of them.

What exactly is meant by “self-gift”?

Posted on July 12th, 2010 by Father John Bartunek

Q: Dear Father John, I’ve always understood the term “self-gift” in the context of relationships with people, especially a spouse.   Recently I learned it is also similar to abandonment, surrender and humility – self-gift to God.   Evidently I’ve missed out on something very basic to our faith.  I’d sure appreciate an explanation of what exactly self-gift is and what can be found in the writings of St. Frances DeSales (or others) about it.

A: I don’t think you have missed out on something very basic to our faith.  Instead, I think we are dealing with a simple issue of terminology.  Self-gift, or self-giving, is basically a synonym for Christlike love, also known as Christian charity.  This is how Jesus defined it during the Last Supper.  After he gave us the new commandment to love one another as he has loved us, he explained pretty clearly what he meant by the word love: “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13).  Self-giving is another way to say “laying down one’s life” for another.  And so, when Jesus taught that the whole Law can be summarized in the double commandment of loving God and loving our neighbor, this is what he was referring to: giving of ourselves, and thereby giving ourselves, to God and to others.

All the other virtues, all the other commandments, are just variations on this theme; they are all connected to self-giving, either by helping us achieve a level of spiritual maturity where we are freed from attachments that inhibit self-giving (e.g. the virtue of temperance frees us from being enslaved to pleasures), or by directing our capacity for love in an appropriate manner (e.g. the virtue familial piety, by which we give priority of affection and attention to our family members, in accordance with the Fourth Commandment).  Similarly, all sin is a variation on the theme of self-indulgence or self-aggrandizement; as inordinate self-love or self-attachment, sin is the contrary of self-gift.

St Augustine famously summarized this core vision of Christian spirituality by describing the whole human family as being divided into two groups, or cities.  Each city is defined by one of two loves.  The city of man is populated by those whose self-love is strong that it excludes love for God (and neighbor); the city of God is populated by those whose love for God is so strong that they are willing to deny or sacrifice themselves (this is “self-giving”) for God’s sake.  In this sense, Christlike love, or Christian charity, can be referred to by other synonyms too: self-forgetful love (Blessed Mother Teresa’s favorite), self-sacrificial love, self-denial…

So your discovery of new applications of the term self-gift is not actually a discovery of some new element of the faith, but rather an enriching of your understanding of the key, foundational element that you have always known about: love.

We could continue discussing this idea from a dizzying variety of perspectives:  the mutual self-giving of the Trinity as the origin of all love; the difference between the virtue of self-giving and the feeling of love; the challenges to love; the means to grow in love… Maybe it would be best, though, simply to remember the relationship between self-gift and the Cross.

In this fallen world, burdened as we are by our fallen human nature, true self-giving is always, in some way, painful and difficult.  Our fallen nature has a built-in tendency to self-indulgence.  This clashes with our natural vocation to mirror God’s goodness through self-giving.  So we experience in ourselves a desire to be heroic in our love for God and others, but at the same time we experience a strong internal resistance to let go of our own self-centered attitudes and habits.  To succeed in obeying our higher calling, whether by being patient in traffic jams or by forgiving our spouse, we have to overcome that resistance; we have to crucify a part of our selves, denying our fallen nature one of its strong desires.  Sometimes this fallen nature yells and screams in rebellion, like a little child throwing a tantrum.  Usually, however, when we do what it right, what is truly in harmony with our authentic nature as God’s children, the momentary pain of self-denial is quickly overshadowed by a deeper interior joy.  We experience the truth of what Jesus taught us: “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35).  As we grow in grace and virtue, we begin to experience less resistance, and we even begin to look forward to the Cross, as a way of showing God that we really do love him, that we really do want to give ourselves instead of indulge ourselves.  But even then, each act of self-giving also includes, at least at the beginning, an often painful act of self-denial.  The Cross ever remains that gateway to the Resurrection.

You asked where St Francis de Sales speaks of this.  His most revered work of spiritual theology is entirely dedicated to an exploration of the nature of Christlike love and how to live it more deeply.  It is entitled: Treatise on the Love of God.  But his other classic work, Introduction to the Devout Life, explains the many manifestations of Christlike love as they appear in one’s efforts to be a faithful follower of the Lord in the midst of daily life.

Yours in Christ, Father John Bartunek, LC, ThD

A letter of love from your Father…

Posted on January 19th, 2010 by Dan Burke

My Child, you may not know me well…

But I know everything about you.

Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up.

Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways.

Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.

Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image.

Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being.

Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring.

Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived.

Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation.

Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake,

for all your days are written in my book.

Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth

and where you would live.

Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother’s womb.

Psalm 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born.

Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented

by those who don’t know me.

John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry,

but am the complete expression of love.

1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.

1 John 3:1

Simply because you are my child

and I am your Father.

1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could.

Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father.

Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand.

James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.

Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.

Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love.

Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless

as the sand on the seashore.

Psalms 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing.

Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you.

Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession.

Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you

with all my heart and all my soul.

Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things.

Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart,

you will find me.

Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you

the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires.

Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you

than you could possibly imagine.

Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager.

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you

in all your troubles.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted,

I am close to you.

Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb,

I have carried you close to my heart.

Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away

every tear from your eyes.

Revelation 21:3-4

And I’ll take away all the pain

you have suffered on this earth.

Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you

even as I love my son, Jesus.

John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.

John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being.

Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you,

not against you.

Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.

2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.

2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His suffering and death was the ultimate

expression of my love for you.

1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I loved

that I might gain your love.

Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus,

you receive me.

1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you

from my love.

Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I’ll throw the biggest party

heaven has ever seen.

Luke 15:7

I have always been Father,

and will always be Father.

Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is…Will you be my child?

John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you.

Luke 15:11-32