Frustration and Humility – Is there such thing as an “Act” of humility?

Q: Your recent comments on frustration, impatience and the need for humility and how to grow in it have been insightful and practical.  Thank you so much!  However, I would like to know how you would advise going about making an “act of humility”.  I am familiar with the Litany of Humility, but I am thinking that there may be a shorter prayer that we could pray a lot, i.e., all the time!  Also, if you could include any additional pointers on the dispositions necessary to go along with such an act, I would be most appreciative.

A: This question is clearly a direct inspiration of the Holy Spirit: Where else could a desire to make “acts of humility” have come from?  I will try to share some thoughts that will help you follow this beautiful inspiration.

Traditional Catholic spirituality often uses the phrase “act of” when referring to a particular type of prayer.  You have probably heard or read about an “act of faith” or an “act of hope” or an “act of love.”  The term can be traced back to the Latin verb “agere,” which has the past participle form of “actum” (it’s always good to review our grammar!).  That verb is juicy.  “Agere” means about a dozen different things in Latin, but the core sense of the word is to put into motion, to focus energy upon.  Our word “action” is derived from this root.  So, when we make an “act of faith,” we put into action, in a conscious way, the virtue of faith. An act of faith, in this sense, is an activation of our belief, a focused assertion of our assent to what God has revealed as true.

An act of humility is the same conscious activation of the virtue of humility, a focused assertion of our absolute dependence on God for existence, salvation, and growth in all that is good and healthy, naturally and supernaturally.  Your instinct that there may be short acts of humility (ready-made formulas that can help us make this conscious assertion frequently and energetically) is right on target.  All spiritual writers agree that we should frequently lift our hearts to God, even in the midst of our busy schedules.  In fact, the Church has attached a partial indulgence to the lifting of our hearts and minds to God during our daily activities, even for a brief moment.  This is how we stay in tune with our heavenly trajectory in life.

At the end of this post, I will include some formulas for acts of humility that you may like.  But I want to emphasize that the value of these types for formulaic prayers is not in the word themselves.  They are not magical incantations.  Rather, their value is in their ability to help us focus our minds on the deep truths that God has revealed to us in Christ.  They give us words to express our deepest convictions.  And every time we express those convictions consciously, really meaning what we say, we deepen them.  And it is from deep, mature Christian convictions that virtue can grow and flourish, that we can gradually learn to live in elegant and dexterous harmony with God’s unceasing action in and through our lives.

So, by all means, make frequent acts of humility, but when you find yourself falling into the empty or routine recitation, don’t be afraid to switch formulas, or to use your daily prayer time to compose a one yourself! (Yes, we are allowed to write our own prayers – sometimes these are the very best ones, because they come from the very depths of our experience of God.)

Some short prayers that can be used as acts of humility:

• Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. (This is known as the Jesus Prayer.)
• Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, have mercy on me! (From the Mass)
• Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word, and my soul will be healed. (From the Mass – adapted from the Centurion’s response to Jesus in Matthew 8:8.)
• Create in me a clean heart, O Lord, and renew within me a resolute spirit (Ps 50:10).
• Sacred Heart of Jesus, I trust in you! (Prayer taught to St Margaret Mary Alocoque by Jesus)
• Jesus, I trust in you! (Prayer taught to St Faustina by Jesus)
• Lord Jesus, I want whatever you want, because you want it, the way you want it, as long as you want it (from the Universal Prayer attributed to Pope Clement XI).
• Psalm 23, Psalm 131 (you may want to memorize these short and beautiful Psalms)

Yours in Christ, Father John Bartunek, LC

His Grace for My Sin – A Prayer of St. Augustine

“What fault committed by man has not been expiated by the Son of God made man? What pride can be so immeasurably inflated, that it could not be brought down by such humility? Truly, O my God, if we were to weigh both the offenses committed by sinners, and the grace of God the Redeemer, we would find that the difference equaled not only the distance between east and west, but the distance between hell and the highest heaven. O wonderful Creator of light, by the terrible sorrows of Your Son, pardon my sins! Grant, O God, that His goodness may overcome my wickedness, that His meekness may atone for my perversity, that His mildness may dominate my irascibility. May His humility make amends for my pride; His patience, for my impatience; His benignity, for my harshness; His obedience, for my disobedience; His tranquility, for my anxiety, His sweetness, for my bitterness; may His charity blot out my cruelty!”

St. Augustine

A Question about the Litany of Humility in Lent – How can I be freed from the desire of being loved?

Q: Dear Father John, I am trying to pray the Litany of Humility with special reverence and attentiveness during this Lent, and in doing so the following question keeps recurring to me: In the Litany of Humility, the second request is: “From the desire of being loved, Lord Jesus, free me!” How am I to understand this request? I had thought that to want to love and to be loved is a part of our human nature. What am I missing?

A: It has been argued (quite successfully, in my opinion) that Christ’s greatest virtue during his earthly sojourn was humility. That you have felt nudged to pray the Litany of Humility as a Lenten devotion, then, seems a sure sign that you are listening to the Holy Spirit. It is edifying and encouraging to hear about it!

Your dilemma is a good one. True, the deepest needs of our human nature, as designed by God, are to be loved and to love. This is because we are created in God’s image, and God is love, the infinite love of the relationship between the three divine Persons, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Insofar as we reflect that divine Trinitarian relation of love within the limitations of our human nature, we live out our vocation as God’s children and we discover and enjoy the fulfillment we long for at the very bottom of our souls.

Looking for Love in a Fallen World

But remember, our current condition includes both a fallen human nature and a fallen world. As a result, these deep needs of our human heart have a tendency to express themselves in distorted ways.

Think about a secular family in which the parents are trying to re-live their own youth vicariously through their children. They pressure their kids to excel at sports, the arts, academics, and everything else. And as the children grow up, they either rebel against this self-centered mode of parenting in some destructive way, or they fall into the over-achiever trap, thinking that achievements are a condition of love. In the latter case, they unconsciously form a habit of the heart in which their need to be loved is almost inextricably intertwined with a need to achieve. If they don’t get straight A’s, if they don’t get into a top college, if they don’t win this or that award, then they will let their parents down and therefore not be loved. As a result, they live in constant tension, deathly afraid of failure, because failure will disqualify them from being loved. This is an unhealthy spiritual state.

Or think about a girl who grows up in a broken home. Mom raises her all alone, because dad abandoned the family early on. She reaches adolescence with a void in her heart, because she hasn’t grown up with the love of a faithful father. She starts dating early, and unconsciously tries to fill that void by winning the love of a boy, a boy who, naturally, is immature and full of adolescent lust. What happens? Her frustrated thirst to be loved leads her to give herself to someone who is not worthy, and only magnifies her emotional instability, maybe even leading to unwanted pregnancies, abortions, and a whole Pandora’s box of painful complications.

The Key Concept

We could multiply examples, but the core concept is very simple: it is possible, unfortunately, to aim our natural desire to be loved in the wrong direction. The unconditional love we are created to yearn for should be sought in only one place – God. St Augustine put it beautifully in a phrase quoted early on in the Catechism:

You [O Lord] have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless till they rest in you.

If we seek to fill our need for love from any other source, we will end up frustrated and confused at best, and wounded and lost at worst.

We should serve others and do good to others and encourage others, not in order to win their love and worship, but because they are our brothers and sisters in Christ and therefore deserve our love. We should strive to develop our talents and utilize them to make a positive impact in the world not in order to win love, esteem, and praise from others, but because we are God’s children and this is what he has created us to do.

The alarming, effervescent, energizing, and contagious freedom of the saints flows from their having learned this lesson. They no longer gauge their actions or decisions by what other people will think of them. And so they don’t live in fear, instability, and hesitancy. Rather, they have discovered that God’s love for them is as firm as the mountains (as the Psalms tell us). They don’t need to earn it; they just humbly accept it. And once they do, it propels them to echo and reflect it spontaneously and joyfully, regardless of the consequences.

When you pray that line of the Litany of the Humility, as the context of the rest of the Litany helps make clear, you are praying for that same grace: “From the desire of being loved by others, from the thirst of winning the approval of others, from the slavery of depending on the praise and recognition of others, Lord Jesus, free me! Instead, Lord, grant me the grace to fill my infinite need for love at the only infinite fountain that exists: your Sacred Heart.”

Yours in Christ, Fr John Bartunek, LC, STL

Litany of Humility

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.

From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being loved, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being extolled, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being honored, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being praised, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being preferred to others, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being consulted, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being approved, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being humiliated, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being despised, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of suffering rebukes, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being calumniated, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being forgotten, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being ridiculed, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being wronged, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being suspected, Deliver me, Jesus.

That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That, in the opinion of the world, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

others may increase and I may decrease, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be chosen and I set aside, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be praised and I unnoticed, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be preferred to me in everything, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

Rafael Cardinal Merry del Val (1865-1930),
Secretary of State for Pope Saint Pius X