What is the essence of Catholic spirituality? – Part I of II

Q: Dear Father John, I still struggle with keeping things in perspective. Would you therefore kindly explain what is the essence of authentic catholic spirituality, i.e. irrespective of whatever tradition one follows (ignitian, carmelite, opus dei, etc.), and also what are the essential elements of the spirituality. Also what is the relationship between catholic morality and catholic spirituality.

A: This question is harder to answer than you might think! But we’ll give it a shot.

What Do We Mean by Spirituality?

First, we will briefly define “spirituality.” Basically, this term signifies an itinerary for growth in our friendship with Christ. This itinerary has as its final destination what we call holiness, an individual’s firm, deep, integral, and dynamic communion with God. We call this itinerary “spirituality” because we achieve communion with God through the purifying our spiritual faculties (intelligence and will) and aligning them with the wisdom and will of God.

Our intelligence, our capacity to perceive and understand truth in a self-conscious manner, was severely darkened by original sin, and darkened even more by our personal sin and the sinful tendencies of the world around us. Growth in the spiritual life gradually increases the influence of God’s revelation and wisdom (a “light for our path and a lamp for our feet” as Psalm 119 puts it) in correcting, healing, and strengthening our minds. In this way we come to see and understand ourselves, God, and the world around us truthfully, i.e. as God does.

Our will, the capacity of self-determination which allows us to make self-aware choices, was also severely weakened by original sin, personal sin, and the evil tendencies of the world around us. Growth in the spiritual life gradually heals and strengthens our will, so that we emerge out of self-centered and self-indulgent habits into virtuous living. Virtues are those good habits of the will that enable us to choose what is truly good and right in any circumstance, even at great immediate cost to ourselves.

In our next post we will dig a little deeper into the nuts and bolts of the practical elements of a spirituality.

Does God give the gift of faith to some and not to others?

Q: Dear Dan, I just read your entry about Our Lady of Mount Carmel’s influence in your conversion. I noted your deep hunger for the Eucharist to the extent of asking for and receiving earlier reception into the Church than first anticipated. What a wonderful thing! The question that burns in my heart is why the Lord doesn’t call my husband to this reality of His presence in the Eucharist. Years ago he went through RCIA, was confirmed and participated in the Mass, receiving Our Lord in the Eucharist etc. Then he stopped, said he preferred the Protestant tradition of his youth, and revealed that he never believe in the Real Presence. Occasionally he goes to Mass with me. He is very deeply spiritual, reads mostly Catholic authors, including many of Pope Benedict’s books, and says he doesn’t so much disagree with the Church as that he prefers the Protestant way of doing things he knew as a child, especially the music. He doesn’t talk about it, but he still doesn’t believe in the Real Presence, that Mary is anything other than an ordinary human being, or the power of the Mass. I know that this is between God and him and that I must trust God and not interfere or try to control. He loves and supports my faith and devotion, which is deep and the core of my life, but he believes that I love it because it is the faith tradition that I grew up with and therefore and am familiar with. I don’t understand why God doesn’t give him the gift of faith, though He obviously gives it to others. Can you help me with this? By the way, my concern isn’t whether or not my husband is saved. I know he is precious to the Lord and is a better person than I am. Please help me understand.

A: Dear Friend, this must be a very painful situation. I have no doubt that your husband is a good person as you say. If I can boil down what you are asking to its simplest form, it seems to me that this question is at the heart of your struggles: Why does God give the gift of faith to some and not to others?

The short answer is that under normal circumstances, God does not withhold anything necessary for anyone to come to him by their free choice. Throughout redemptive history, and particularly in the clear invitation of the New Covenant, God has offered himself to all without distinction. In the second letter of Saint Peter chapter three, verse nine, God says to us:

The Lord is not slow about his promise as some count slowness, but is forbearing toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.

This verse reveals a powerful truth, God calls everyone to himself, without exception. Further, your husband was created by God, and as the psalmist reveals, God formed him in his mother’s womb and brought your husband into existence for the purpose of having a relationship with him. This isn’t a general principal. God specifically called your husband into existence in order to commune with him. In Psalm 139 the Lord puts it this way through the heart of the psalmist (loosely translated to apply to your husband).

For I formed you in your inward parts; I knitted you together in your mother’s womb. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. I know your soul well. I made you in secret, as you were intricately woven in the depths of the womb. I saw your unformed substance; in my book is written every part of your design, the days that were formed for you, when as yet there was nothing.

Beyond the amazing beauty of this thought, without the freedom to reciprocate the love the God has for us, your husband’s love toward God would be forced and not freely offered. Forced love can never be true love. God has invited all of us to his great banquet feast, but we must accept and embrace that invitation and do what it takes to get to the table. For reasons unknown to us, some seem to be satisfied with or only able to see the crumbs under the table rather than the great and endless delights of the feast above. There are many reasons for this but only God knows the specific barriers that exist in any man’s heart.

The other comforting element revealed in the verse from our first Pope is that God is patient. Of course, time and the flesh are our enemy when it comes to our redemption but God is always ready and willing to give us all he has if we will turn to him. So, there is a place reserved at the table with your husband’s name on it. Not only is there a place for him but God has also given him all he needs to find it – he need only to chose to receive the invitation and join in.

Finally, there is, in the mystery of God’s provision, a way that we can participate and even somehow increase the grace that an individual can receive from God. God has chosen to work through the prayers of others to bring his grace to his people. So, what can you do? Pray, pray, pray, and pray some more…. and be holy. Be ready to answer any questions he might have. However, the greatest testament to the real presence is how that presence changes those who encounter him. I have never heard a husband say to his wife, “Dear, please stop going to mass, you are being far too nice and helpful to me.” As you might imagine, the reverse is more often the case. Pursue Christ with all your heart, pray, and may your husband hunger for what God is working in you.

The 7 Habits of People Who Place Radical Trust in God

I read a lot of biographies and memoirs about inspiring people who place radical trust in God. (By “radical” I don’t mean reckless or imprudent, but am referring to the difficult, very counter-cultural act of recognizing God’s sovereignty over every area of our lives. More on that here.) From He Leadeth Me to God’s Smuggler, Mother Angelica to The Heavenly Man to The Shadow of His Wings, these true stories are about people from all walks of the Christian life: Catholic and Protestant, consecrated religious and lay people, men and women. And yet they all have distinct similarities in their approaches to life and the Lord.

I found it fascinating to see what common threads could be found in the lives of these incredible people who place so much trust in the Lord, and thought I’d share in case others find it inspiring as well.

1. They accept suffering

One of the most powerful things I’ve read in recent memory is Brother Yun’s story of being a persecuted pastor in China, as recounted in the book The Heavenly Man. After facing weeks of torture, including electrocution, starvation, beatings, and having needles shoved under his fingernails, he was thrown in a box that was four feet long, three feet wide, and four feet high, where he would stay indefinitely. The day after he was put in this mini cell, he felt prompted to pray for a Bible — a ridiculous idea, considering that many people were in prison at that very moment for being in possession of such contraband. Yet he prayed anyway. And, inexplicably, the guards threw a Bible into his cell the next morning. He writes:

I knelt down and wept, thanking the Lord for this great gift. I could scarcely believe my dream had come true! No prisoner was ever allowed to have a Bible or any Christian literature, yet, strangely, God provided a Bible for me! Through this incident the Lord showed me that regardless of men’s evil plans for me, he had not forgotten me and was in control of my life.

Now, the less saintly among us (cough-cough) might have reacted to that a little differently. Had I been tortured and thrown in a coffin-like cell, my reaction to receiving a Bible would have likely been more along the lines of, “Thanks for the Bible, Lord, but could we SEE ABOUT GETTING ME OUT OF THIS METAL BOX FIRST?!?!” I wouldn’t have even “counted” the Bible as an answered prayer since my main prayer — reducing my physical suffering — had gone unanswered.

Yet what I see over and over again in people like Brother Yun is that they have crystal clarity on the fact that suffering is not the worst evil — sin is. Yes, they would prefer not to suffer, and do sometimes pray for the relief of suffering. But they prioritize it lower than the rest of us do — they focus far more on not sinning than on not suffering. They have a laser focus on getting themselves and others to heaven. In Brother Yun’s case, he saw through that answered prayer that God was allowing him to grow spiritually and minister to his captors, so his circumstances of suffering in an uncomfortable cell became almost irrelevant to him.

2. They accept the inevitability of death

Similar to the above, people who place great trust in God can only do so with a heaven-centered worldview. They think in terms of eternity, not in terms of calendar years. Their goal is not to maximize their time on earth, but rather to get themselves and as many other people as possible to heaven. And if God can best do that by shortening their lifespans, they accept that.

The Shadow of His Wings is filled with jaw-dropping stories of Fr. Goldmann’s miraculous escapes from death during World War II, which begs the question, “What about all the people who didn’t escape death?” Fr. Goldmann would probably respond by saying that God saving him from death was not the blessing in and of itself — after all, every single one of us will die eventually. The blessing was saving him from death so that he could continue his ministry bringing the Gospel to the Nazis. He eventually died while building a ministry in Japan, and presumably accepted that God would bring good from his passing, even though there was undoubtedly more work he wanted to do.

3. They have daily appointments with God

I have never heard of a person who had a deep, calm trust in the Lord who did not set aside time for focused prayer every day. Both in the books I’ve read and in real life, I’ve noticed that people like this always spend at least a few moments — and up to an hour or two if circumstances permit — focused on nothing but prayer, every day. Also, they tend to do it first thing in the morning, centering themselves in Christ before tackling anything else the day may bring.

4. In prayer, they listen more than they talk

I’ve written before about my amazement that really holy people seem to get their prayers answered more often than the rest of us. I’d heard enough stories of people praying for something very specific, then receiving it, that I started to wonder if they were psychic or God just liked them more than the rest of us or something. What I eventually realized is that their ideas about what to pray for came from the Holy Spirit in the first place, because they spent so much time seeking God’s will for them, day in and day out.

So, to use the example of a famous story from Mother Angelica’s biography, she had a satellite dish delivery man at the door who needed $600,000 or he was going to return the dish, thus killing all the plans for the new station. She ran to the chapel and prayed, and a guy she’d never met randomly called and wanted to donate $600,000. Her prayer wasn’t answered because she had a personal interest in television and just really, really wanted it, but because she had correctly discerned God’s plan that she was to start a television station on this particular day.

5. They limit distractions

Of all the amazing stories in God’s Smuggler, one of the lines that jumped out to me the most in the book was in the epilogue, when the authors talk about how Brother Andrew’s work has continued in 21st century:

“I won’t even consider installing one of those call waiting monstrosities,” he exclaimed, “that interrupt one phone conversation to announce another.” Technology, Andrew says, makes us far too accessible to the demands and pressures of the moment. “Our first priority should be listening in patience and silence for the voice of God.”

Far too accessible to the demands and pressures of the moment. That line has haunted me ever since I read it. I love technology, but it does come with a huge temptation to feel a general increase in urgency in our lives: I have to reply to that email! Respond to that comment on my wall on Facebook! Ret-tweet that tweet! Read that direct message! Listen to that voicemail! Here in the connected age, we are constantly bombarded with demands on our attention. Periods of silence, where we can cultivate inner stillness and wait for the promptings of the Holy Spirit, are increasingly rare.

One thing that all the people in these books have in common is that they had very little of this pressure of false urgency. It’s hard to imagine Fr. Ciszek coming up with the breathtaking insights about God’s will that he shared in He Leadeth Me with his iPhone buzzing alerts every few minutes, or Brother Yun seeing the subtle beauty of God’s plan in the midst of persecution while keeping his Twitter status updated on a minute-by-minute basis.

6. They submit their discernment to others

People who have a long history of watching the way the Lord works in their lives notice that he often speaks through holy friends, family members and clergy. If they discern that God is calling them to something, especially if it’s something big, they ask trusted Christian confidantes to pray about the matter and see if they discern the same thing. And when others warn them not to follow a certain path — especially if it’s a spouse, confessor or spiritual director — they take those indicators very seriously.

7. They offer the Lord their complete, unhesitating obedience

One of my favorite parts of God’s Smuggler is when Brother Andrew got a visit from a man named Karl de Graaf who was part of a prayer group in which people often spent hours of time in prayer, most of it listening in silence:

I went out to the front stoop, and there was Karl de Graaf. “Hello!” I said, surprised.

“Hello, Andy. Do you know how to drive?”

“Drive?”

“An automobile.”

“No,” I said, bewildered. “No, I don’t.”

“Because last night in our prayers we had a word from the Lord about you. It’s important for you to be able to drive.”

“Whatever on earth for?” I said. “I’ll never own a car, that’s for sure.”

“Andrew,” Mr. de Graaf spoke patiently, as to a slow-witted student, “I’m not arguing for the logic of the case. I’m just passing on the message.” And with that, he was striding across the bridge.

Despite his initial hesitation, Brother Andrew discerned that this was something that God was calling him to do, so he learned to drive. It seemed like a complete waste of time, an utterly illogical use of his resources, but he was obedient to the Lord’s call. I won’t spoil what happened next for those of you who plan to read the book, but let’s just say that shortly after he received his license, it turned out to be critical to the future of his ministry (which eventually brought the Gospel to thousands of people behind the Iron Curtain) that he know how to drive.

I often think of how Mr. de Graaf responded when Brother Andrew was scratching his head about this odd message: “That’s the excitement in obedience,” he said. “Finding out later what God had in mind.”

—

Obviously we can’t grow closer to God by aping the actions of others, but I find lists like this helpful as a starting point for reflection on my own spiritual progress. I hope you found it helpful as well!

Jennifer Fulwiler blogs at http://www.conversiondiary.com

Should I “back off” in my passion for my faith?

Q: Thank you, Father John, for your clarification. On the same topic, I find that some of the Christians around me seem to resent my “zeal”. They would rather I be less intense in my pursuit of holiness and living the Gospel; I make them uncomfortable. Sometimes I am tempted to dial this “divine obsession” back, just to accommodate others. But I don’t think that is what God wants me to do. I think He would prefer that I am “sold out” to Him, totally giving all that I am, all that I have to Him. Do you have any thoughts about this?

A: Thank you for this encouraging note, and this incisive question, which I am sure is on the minds of more than a few of our readers. I do have some thoughts about it – two thoughts, in fact.

First, sometimes the people around us can help identify imbalances in our lives to which we ourselves are oblivious. We have all experienced this. Just think about friends who make unfortunate dating choices: they put themselves in relationships that wear them down instead of build them up, but they don’t seem to see it. So, if you are consistently receiving this message (that you have gone overboard in your piety) from people you know and respect (and who know and respect you), your first reaction should be to do some self-reflection: “Is my life of piety somehow turning people away from Christ?” In this context, I offer a few possible self-examination questions:

Am I able to carry on a friendly and interesting conversation with people – friends, acquaintances, strangers – about non-religious topics?

The answer should be “yes.” A mature Christian should have a lively interest in simply being human. Think about Pope John Paul II and how he so easily met people where they were at. He enjoyed skiing and soccer; he enjoyed movies and art… Pope Benedict XVI plays Mozart to relax. St. John Bosco did magic tricks for kids. St. Gianna Beretta Molla kept up on fashion trends… We too should have healthy interests and hobbies that are simply human, that aren’t directly related to our piety (though they must never interfere with our friendship with Christ). Christians should be interesting people, enjoyable to be around, welcome in any kind of setting, able to connect with people where they are at.

Do I regularly have a “hidden agenda” in my conversations with other people?

We have to be really careful here. As Christ’s ambassadors, it is up to us to bear witness to his truth and love, especially to those who do not know or accept God’s truth and love. But as we grow in our own love for God and his Church, a subtle temptation to pride can seep into our relationships. We can start thinking that we know exactly what other people need, and so we start manipulating them – saying one thing and meaning another, or trying to pressure them (instead of motivating them) into doing what’s right. This is a false kind of charity. Only God knows the whole story of a human heart. We are not Saviors; we are not Providence; we are just witnesses and messengers.

Certainly we can be creative and energetic in finding ways to communicate Christ’s message, but we need to have an absolute respect for every person, treating them like people, not like pet projects. Otherwise, we end up seeking our own glory (“success” stories) instead of God’s glory. This balance can sometimes be hard to maintain. It takes a lot of prayer and a lot of humility. We are just instruments of the Holy Spirit, junior partners: He is the one in charge. As a rule of thumb: we should make a decent and responsible effort to share with others what God has given to us, but not force it down their throats. We are to love our neighbors as ourselves, respecting them, helping them, and building them up, not belittling them or riding roughshod over them.

Do I lead a balanced life-style, in accordance with the duties of my state in life?

The touchstone of our walk with Christ is God’s will. Jesus’ own rule of life was: “I seek to do not my own will but the will of him who sent me” (John 5:30). We find God’s will in the commandments of the Bible and the Church, in the example of Christ, in the duties of our state in life, and in the inspirations of the Holy Spirit (which will never contradict the first three).

If you are a single professional, for example, you should work hard, be engaged in your parish, pursue healthy hobbies, participate in a healthy social life, and, most importantly, have a regular and substantial prayer life. If you are married with children, the commitment to your husband and kids will necessarily diminish the amount of time and energy you can dedicate to your profession, your hobbies, and your social life, but those aspects of normal human-hood should not disappear. If your life of piety consistently crowds everything else out, it may be a sign that you have a religious vocation – but not if you’re already married! Jesus was clear that “your light must shine in people’s sight, so that, seeing your good works, they may give praise to your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:12). If you are spending all of your time in church, how can that happen?

Do I still cling to friendships or hobbies that habitually put me in occasions of sin?

This is a key point. We can sometimes use the “let your light shine” commandment as an excuse to stay too heavily involved in fashionable or pleasurable social circles that are actually riddled with sinful behavior. I remember guy friends in college who used to engage in what they called “missionary dating.” They would date girls who did not share a Christian world view or Christian morals, telling themselves that by dating these girls they would help convert them. The opposite always happened.

As adults, we can fall into the same mistake. The businessman or lawyer who convinces himself that he has to go to the strip club after work in order to build a relationship with a potential client is not “letting his light shine”; he is exposing it to a wind that may blow it out. The socially active Catholic woman who keeps on lunching at the country club with groups of friends who regularly spend the whole lunch gossiping and detracting is impeding her spiritual progress and giving sin a foothold. We have to invest quality time in friendships that are healthy, and at least in some friendships in which our core Christian values (the pursuit of holiness) are shared.

On the other hand, this doesn’t mean that we are supposed to isolate ourselves from all contact with secular people. Avoiding habitual gossip sessions at the country club doesn’t mean you can’t have lunch or tennis with a friend or two who don’t share your faith or worldview. Not at all! Answering Christ’s call to be “the salt of the earth” (Matthew 5:13) requires being in the world. But we have to avoid being of the world; when socializing starts causing our salt to “lose its taste,” we are doing no one a favor.

This isn’t an exhaustive list of questions, but reflecting on these may help you identify if your friends’ impatience with your piety has any merit. If you are out of balance, then you may indeed be turning people away from Christ. But if you are pretty much balanced (we are never perfectly balanced, and we constantly have to adjust in order to keep even our imperfect balance), then you simply need to keep forging ahead, trusting that your “sign of contradiction” (see Luke 2:34) will be used by God, somehow, to draw them closer to Him.

In the Face of Opposition

Second, we need to remember that whenever we are truly seeking to follow Christ, we will inevitably face misunderstanding, opposition, and even persecution. This is just the way it is. Jesus was really clear about it: “If you belonged to the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you do not belong to the world, because my choice of you has drawn you out of the world, that is why the world hates you” (John 15:19).

This opposition can be painful and confusing. It is more painful when it comes from those closest to us – a disdainful spouse, for example, or a fellow Catholic parishioner who resents the call to conscience that our example makes to them. We must not let this kind of opposition interfere with our quest for holiness. Rather, we have to refrain from judging these critics (we can’t see their whole heart), and keep our eye on the ball: loving God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and loving our neighbor as yourself.

Yours in Christ, Fr John Bartunek, LC, ThD

No spiritual director in sight – how can I keep growing spiritually in the mean time?

Q: Dear Father John, I cannot find a spiritual director in my area. I will keep looking and praying, but until I find someone, what do I need to do to ensure that I continue to grow spiritually?

A: As you patiently continue looking and praying for a good spiritual director, God will continue to guide you through the other means for spiritual growth that the Church recommends. These are the some of the same items and activities that you would discuss with a spiritual director. If you make a decent effort to keep these plates spinning, the Holy Spirit will have plenty of room to work in your heart until he gives you a good spiritual director. These are the plates I am referring to:

• Participation in the sacraments, especially the Eucharist and confession. It’s funny, but sometimes you run into people who claim to be enthusiastically pursuing spiritual growth, but who make little effort to receive frequent Holy Communion, spend some time regularly in adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, and go to confession (Although the Church only requires us to confess our mortal sins once a year, for someone like yourself, whom God is clearly drawing to a deeper intimacy, I would recommend at least a monthly confession – every 15 days is even better.).
• Daily prayer. A daily God-time is absolutely essential for spiritual growth. I would include both vocal and mental prayer. If you are not already doing this, I would start with a very realistic time commitment – 15 minutes of mental prayer in the morning would be plenty. If you can add a few minutes at night to prayerfully review how your day went, thanking God for his blessings, asking pardon for your sins, and renewing your desire to seek and serve Christ during the next day, that would be a big help.
• Spiritual reading. This is not the same as prayer. It consists in taking some time each day (or a few times a week) to read about the spiritual life. This is like fertilizer for the soul. If we are filling our minds with solid teaching about what it means to follow Christ and how to know, love, and imitate him better, our decisions and attitudes will gradually become more and more like his. What you are doing right now, for example, is spiritual reading. Some classic works that can be a good place to start include St Francis de Sales’ Introduction to the Devout Life and Eugene Boylan’s This Tremendous Lover. (If any of our readers have some favorite spiritual reading books, I would ask them to share their recommendation with the rest of us!)
• Fellowship with people seeking to follow Christ more closely. Christianity is not a self-help method; it is a family affair. We were not meant to pursue holiness on our own, but together with our brothers and sisters in Christ. Developing friendships with others who have the same priorities as you do and are trying to live them faithfully helps keep the fire burning in your own heart, and actually makes it burn better. If you take a burning coal out of the hearth, it will lose its heat. But if you keep it in the hearth, in contact with the rest of the burning wood and hot coals, it will stay warm. If you can plug in to a faith-sharing or Bible study group that is truly focused on transformation in Christ, it will give exponential help to your growth in holiness.
• Service to others. Christianity is about redeeming the world, showing forth God’s goodness, rolling back sin and evil, and leading others to friendship with Jesus Christ. If we aren’t engaged in this activity, consciously and purposefully, we will be like those stultifying ponds that receive water from a stream but have no outlet. They become rank, clogged, and swampy. We want to be like a spiritual reservoir, constantly receiving new floods of God’s grace through our means of spiritual growth, and just as constantly sharing what we have received with others – grace flowing in, grace flowing out. That keeps our souls fresh, and gives God a chance to work more freely in and through us. This service could be directly religious, or it could be humanitarian. If you have a profession, this too can be supernaturalized, simply by offering your work to God for the good of your neighbor. Not everyone is called to be an explicit missionary, but everyone is indeed called to be actively engaged in the mission of spreading Christ’s Kingdom.

If this seems like too much, don’t fret. Just take baby steps in each area, gradually. The important thing is to get started and to keep going, not to break speed records. I will say a prayer for the success of your search for a spiritual director.