What if I have nothing to confess, should I still go to confession?

Q: Dear Father John, I recently heard someone mention the term “devotional confession.”  I think this is what I need, but I am not sure what it really is.  Is this the kind of confession we do when we are no longer living with habitual mortal or venial sins? Is this where we re-confess old sins to gain the benefit of the sacrament?  But if it is, isn’t that scrupulosity?  Any guidance will be appreciated.

A: Your question, it seems to me, can be summarized like this: How can I receive the graces of confession when I am not falling into obvious sin (the kind I used to experience so often)?  This is a good question, because of a widespread bad habit.  The bad habit is thinking that confession only exists for those times when we sin so grievously that we experience a spiritual earthquake.  Without a doubt, this is the primary purpose of the sacrament – to open a way of reconciliation for a baptized Christian who has fallen into grave sin.  But popes and spiritual writers in recent centuries have repeatedly and energetically encouraged all of us to practice frequent, regular confession.  Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta used to go to confession weekly, as did Pope John Paul II.  Obviously, these giants of the faith weren’t confessing mortal sins every week, so what was the reasoning behind their practice of frequent, regular confession?

Benefits of Frequent Confession

Every sacrament imparts its own particular grace.  The sacramental grace of confession is primarily the forgiveness of sins, but it is also, secondarily, the spiritual strengthening of the soul.  This is why it is called a sacrament of healing.  It heals (reconciles) our relationships with God and with the Church, which have been wounded or broken by personal sin, and at the same time strengthens those relationships.  When we break a bone, the body will repair it with an extra dose of calcium, so that the bone is actually stronger at the break point after the healing than it was before the injury.  Something similar happens with confession.  God pours out his strengthening grace in a special way on the aspects of our spiritual organism, so to speak, that we present to him in confession.

Now you can understand why the devil works so hard to keep us away from frequent, regular confession.  If our relationship with God has been ruptured (by mortal sin), he doesn’t want it reconciled.  But even if it has just been wounded (venial sin), he doesn’t want it strengthened.

This sacrament, however, proffers even more benefits to the soul than the sacramental graces of forgiveness and strengthening.  Making a good confession requires the arduous task of self-reflection.  Ongoing self-examination is, all spiritual writers agree, a basic ingredient in spiritual progress.  We have to discover, with God’s help, how miserable and needy we really are, spiritually speaking, in order to open ourselves confidently and eagerly to God’s action.  Going to confession is also like doing a major spiritual workout.  Through the process of self-examination, repentance, confession, and penance, we exercise every major spiritual-muscle group: the theological virtues (faith, hope, love for God), humility (it’s not exactly self-inflating to kneel down and systematically expose our faults and failings), justice, prudence, fortitude (it takes courage to step into a confessional), and self-denial.  This sacrament is like a gymnasium of Christian virtue.  Frequent and regular workouts therein will do wonders for our spiritual health.

What to Confess?

Now we can come to the nitty-gritty of your question.  Any valid confession will inundate your soul with these benefits, and the more conscientiously you participate in the sacrament, the better your workout will be.  To be valid, a confession needs both sincere repentance (which includes the intention of fulfilling your assigned penance), and the actual confession of sin.  When we have obvious sins on our conscience, that it is easy.  But as we grow in the spiritual life, the obvious sins tend to diminish.  When that happens, we need to examine ourselves more carefully to uncover the hidden attitudes, judgments, and intentions that are still self-centered and not Christ-centered.  Scripture warns us that we do not know how deep our selfishness goes: “But who can detect his own failings?  Wash away my hidden faults” (Ps 19:12).  This is an excellent topic to discuss in spiritual direction.

Yet sometimes we identify failings that were not willful; we just fell into them out of weakness or lack of reflection.  Here we can enter a gray area between venial sin, for which we are in some way directly responsible, and what spiritual writers call “imperfections,” for which we are only remotely responsible, if at all.  A good example of this is internally judging and criticizing other people.  Sometimes we notice ourselves doing that only after we have already been doing it for a few minutes, and we didn’t really consciously decide to start judging them.  It is an injustice, but it stems from deep-seeded selfish tendencies, not willful lack of charity (unless we keep doing it even after we notice we were doing it).

When the material of confession is in this gray area, it is a healthy practice to end the confession by referring to some past sins that were more obvious.  If they have already been confessed, we don’t need to confess them again in detail (that would, as you suggest, be a step towards scrupulosity), but bringing them anew to the Lord is an excellent way to show him that we are truly sorry for all of our sins and failings.  So, for example, if in the past your obvious sins had to do with theft, bribery, or fraud, you could finish your regular confession now by saying something like, “… I confess these sins [the ones you have already mentioned] and all the sins of my past life, especially those against the virtue of justice.  These are my sins.”

Now that we have explored some theoretical and practical aspects of regular, frequent confession, you may be wondering “How frequent and regular should my confession be?”  If Mother Teresa went weekly, that’s not a bad yardstick.  But that’s not always practical, and it may make you feel pressured.  Confession every two weeks will be a turbo boost to your friendship with Christ, and, in today’s corrosive culture, monthly confession is almost the minimum required for someone who is serious about spiritual progress.  But remember, the Church only requires us to go to confession annually, if we have a mortal sin on our conscience.  Frequent confession is not a duty imposed by the Church; it is simply a heartfelt, wise recommendation.

Yours in Christ, Fr John Bartunek, LC, ThD

Mysticism – spiritual direction – frustrations – modern perceptions – what do I do?

Q: Fr. John, at some point would you address the issues facing modern mystics? For example, most spiritual directors do not seem to have experience with mysticism. Even some priests I have encountered believe that God no longer acts in this way with his people, but it has been my personal experience that he does. It is very difficult finding others with similar experiences. Fortunately, I have found an elderly priest who can find occasional time to help me, and I have received advice from a priest who has written extensively on the topic. I think that means I have perhaps been blessed more than other mystics. However, the priests to whom I can go for confession are not mystics; in some cases, they have not even accepted mysticism and I am left with making partial confessions, carefully avoiding anything that seems out of the ordinary and too supernatural. It is all quite disappointing and frustrating. Any advice?

A: I sense frustration in your question. Watch out! Frustration doesn’t come from the Holy Spirit. Frustration is a function of expectations. When we expect reality to be different than it is, we become frustrated. As soon as we become aware of that frustration, we have to make an act of humility and turn our natural (and sometimes reasonable) complaints into fruitful actions and faith-drenched crosses. In the face of frustration, we have to ask ourselves: Can I do anything (within reason) to change the situation? If so, make a decent effort to do it. If not, however, we have to let go, not allowing it to drain emotional and spiritual energy. One of the devil’s favorite tactics is to keep us focused on things we can’t change, so as to keep us from changing what we can.

That’s a general warning. As regards the specific issue, finding spiritual directors who can give helpful guidance to mystics, it is hard for me to say much more. But I’ll try.

Clarifying Our Terms

The reason it’s hard to address is simple. The words mystic, mystical, and mysticism are not precise. Different people mean different things by them. I am not exactly sure what you mean when you refer to “modern mystics.” I am not sure what you mean when you say that some people think God no longer acts “in this way” with his people. In all fairness, then, I should tell you what I mean by the term. I will use it as a synonym for the more technical, theological term “infused contemplation.” Infused contemplation is a kind of prayer in which the soul no longer does anything and God reaches down and does everything, elevating the person to an ineffable experience of the divine presence. As St. Teresa described it, prayer is when we water the garden of our souls; infused contemplation is when God sends a thunder shower to water it for us.

This can occur in a quiet way, in which the only one aware of it is the one who is praying. Or it can occur in an ecstatic way, in which everyone is aware of it through related phenomena like levitating or the experience of auras.

I don’t use the term as a synonym for miracles. Miraculous experiences of God’s presence can happen without infused contemplation – for example, the experience of visionaries or of people receiving interior locutions. I realize that not everyone will agree with my use of terms. I also realize that by defining them in this way, I may be attempting to answer a question you didn’t ask! But at least you know what I’m talking about.

Removing Misunderstandings

Certainly God continues to work in this way. Every priest has to study this phenomenon in his preparation for ordination during his course on spiritual theology. If any clergy have told you otherwise, perhaps they misunderstood your question, or maybe there was some miscommunication. At least, I hope so.

The experience you describe of difficulty in finding an apt spiritual guide in this situation is not unique to our epoch. If you are not yet familiar with the lives of mystics from past periods, I would recommend that you read the lives of St. Theresa of Avila (1500s), St. Margaret Mary Alocoque (1600s), and even St. Faustina Kowalska (1920s). If I am not mistaken, each one of them experienced deep and prolonged suffering because of the difficulty they had in finding sure guidance. I would even venture to say that finding dependable spiritual guidance is part of the cross for souls who are given this charism. That doesn’t mean anyone is at fault for it. Judging by precedent, we can say that God usually uses this struggle to help purify the soul. So then the question becomes, what is the most fruitful way to carry on that struggle?

Jesus promised that “the one who searches always finds” (Mt 7:8). I would advise you and those like you to pray and search for a spiritual director gifted with enough wisdom to guide you competently. In the meantime, don’t feel as if you have to discuss all of your spiritual experiences in confession. If you don’t have confidence that the confessor will respect you, simply mention your sins and failings without going into anything else, and gladly receive God’s grace through that sacrament. And remember, a good spiritual director doesn’t necessarily have to have experienced mysticism himself in order to guide you effectively. He or she simply has to be someone who is coherent in their vocation and knows the Lord deeply and personally.

Tempting Mystics

But now I want to mention the most important thing. The devil is not absent from the lives of people who are gifted with this kind of experience. In fact, he may be more active. He will tempt you towards arrogance, thinking that because you have been given this gift you are superior to others, both laity and clergy. He will tempt you towards self-sufficiency, thinking that because it’s hard to find a spiritual director you can just figure everything out on your own. He will tempt you towards a subtle spiritual gluttony, thinking that because you have experienced infused contemplation at times, you should always be experiencing it, and therefore prompting you to try and manufacture it every time you pray. He will tempt you towards a subtle impurity of intention, making you pray and do spiritual things in order to experience the delightful mystical gifts, instead of simply seeking to glorify God. The devil may even try to trick you by concocting counterfeit mystical experiences, as he did with St. Ignatius of Loyola.

Unfailing Defense

The sure defense against these and other wily attacks is to take Jesus’ motto as your own: Thy will be done. The test of holiness is not the presence, frequency, or intensity of mystical experience. Rather, it is union of wills. Ask yourself each day, preferably in an evening examination of conscience: How faithfully am I avoiding sin and the occasions of sin? How faithfully am I fulfilling the responsibilities of my state in life? How can I do so more faithfully? How faithfully am I carrying out my Lord’s commandment of charity (“Love one another as I have loved you” – Jn 15:12) in thought, word, and deed, towards relatives, friends, acquaintances, and strangers? How can I do so more faithfully? How energetically am I striving to build up the Church and the world around me? Pay special attention to your words, using them always for good and avoiding all useless criticism. Make sure that your prayer life is always feeding your Christlike living.

This is the difference between Christianity and so many Gnostic pseudo-religions. The latter put mystical experience at the pinnacle of religion; Christ put grace-empowered, self-forgetful love there. If you strive to do the same, you will find meaning even in the midst of the challenges and suffering that mystical experience brings into your life. And you will grow in holiness and give God’s grace more and more room to work in you and through you.

I will leave the last word to St. Teresa of Avila: “Don’t seek feelings of consolations in prayer. Seek the Lord, seek to conform your will to his! If the Lord chooses to give delights and consolations, be grateful, but let them accomplish the purpose for which they were given: to encourage us to persevere in daily taking up our cross and following him.”

As I finish writing this answer, I am sending up a prayer for your continued growth in holiness. God bless you!

Yours in Christ, Fr. John Bartunek, LC

Is spiritual direction just a more involved form of confession?

Q: Father John, what is the difference between confession and spiritual direction?

A: Confession and spiritual direction are like partially overlapping circles: they share some common characteristics, but their centers, their essences, are distinct.

The Distinction of Confession

The essence of confession is the sacramental grace that Christ gives to our soul through the ministry of his priest. When we open our hearts to him through sincere repentance and honest confession of our sins within the sacrament of reconciliation, we receive an infusion of grace that forgives our sins, strengthens our spiritual weakness (especially regarding the behaviors that we confessed), and increases the bond of our supernatural friendship with Christ. It also exercises and therefore increases the supernatural virtues of faith, hope, and charity. In confession, God acts on our soul the way a surgeon acts on a patient: directly, profoundly, in ways that we could never reproduce by merely natural efforts.

This is why we don’t have to worry even if the priest who hears our confession is taciturn, deaf, grumpy, in mortal sin, or even (God forbid) harsh. The priest is God’s instrument of grace within this sacrament, not the source of that grace.

The Distinction of Spiritual Direction

The essence of spiritual direction is solid advice. The spiritual director helps us see more clearly what God is asking of us and how he is acting in our lives. The director also helps us see objectively the quality of our response to God: are we being docile and humble, or are we just tricking ourselves into doing what we feel like? The spiritual director is like the physical therapist that helps us identify the exercises we need to be doing in order to grow spiritually, and then helps us adjust our spiritual program of work in order to keep it effective and on track. This is invaluable advice, but it is noticeably different than that surgeon who actually reconstructs a torn ligament or rebuilds a broken lung.

This is one of the reasons why nothing inhibits lay people from becoming excellent spiritual directors. Ordination is not required, just solid training in spiritual theology, ample personal experience in the spiritual life, and the Holy Spirit’s gifts of knowledge (discernment) and counsel. But God has reserved the sacrament of confession to his ordained priests, in order to guarantee that he acts directly therein.

The Overlap

Nevertheless, although the essences differ, the secondary characteristics of confession and spiritual direction can often overlap. A good confessor gives more than absolution; he also utilizes the sacred moment in which this person is opening their heart to God to remind them of God’s goodness, love, and wisdom. If he detects some confusion or frustration, he can also give sound advice, just as a spiritual director would do. If the penitent has questions or doubts, the confessor answers and resolves them. The atmosphere of faith in which the sacrament takes place is incomparably propitious for the action of the Holy Spirit and the penitent’s docility to that action. In past centuries, in fact, lay people usually received spiritual direction within the sacrament. They would go to the same priest regularly for confession, and this “confessor” became their spiritual father, their spiritual director. In more recent times, however, the practice of having separate spiritual direction, which used to be reserved for consecrated religious, has spread to the laity as well. This is linked to the Church’s growing emphasis on the lay vocation as a vocation to holiness, just as much as a religious vocation is a call to holiness. Only the states of life differ.

Some priests who are excellent confessors even prefer to give spiritual direction within the sacrament of confession. Combining the two makes for a longer stay in the confessional, but it can be fruitful. If you are having trouble finding a spiritual director, you may want to ask around to find out which priests in your area have a reputation for being wise confessors. You can then go to confession with them, and in addition to confessing your sins, you can also mention in the sacrament that you are trying to follow a program of spiritual growth. Then include as part of your confession the areas of spiritual work in which you have had difficulty in recent weeks. These difficulties may be imperfections (unconscious faults) more than sins, but by confessing them you express the delicacy of your love for Christ, and you give the confessor a greater understanding of the state of your soul. Then he will have a chance to give you solid advice and guidance before giving you absolution. You can use that advice to adjust your program of spiritual work for the coming weeks. In this way, your confessor can double as your spiritual director. The disadvantage of this arrangement, however, is the lack of time to converse. Often what is most helpful in spiritual direction is the focused conversation about spiritual things. Necessarily, the parameters of the sacrament curtail this kind of discussion.

Of course, the contrary situation also arises. Oftentimes, if one’s spiritual director is also a priest, it is quite natural to finish spiritual direction with the sacrament of confession. In this case, the priest will take less time to offer advice and encouragement, which has already been given in spiritual direction. The disadvantage of this arrangement (which is certainly not a requirement), is the tendency to dilute one’s awareness of God’s action through the sacrament, a penchant for considering, the sacrament merely as the frosting on the cake of spiritual direction, at least on a subconscious level.

Keep in mind the essential difference between confession and spiritual direction. If you do that, then the overlap of secondary characteristics, which can take as many different forms as there are people, will always enhance and never confuse your experience of both.

Yours in Christ, Father John Bartunek, LC

Icons courtesy of www.eikonografos.com used with permission.

My pastor mentioned my sins in the homily – I am mortified – what do I do?

Q: Dear Fr Joseph, the last time I went to confession, the priest ended up using my fears and sins (the ones I had confessed) while preaching his next Sunday homily. I want to go back, but I was so humiliated by this. Help!!!

A: It is not hard to see how uncomfortable this must have been. Our sins and failures cause us tremendous suffering and it can be a terrible mortification to even suspect that others may know what they are. This is the reason why the sacrament of confession has a protective seal on it. All things spoken there are put into God’s hands, forgiven and forgotten. No one can use the information from confession in a way that would reveal the sin and the sinner, or be onerous to the one who has confessed.

That does not mean, however, that a priest can’t take the pulse of his parish based on what he hears in confession and spiritual direction. Far from citing the sins of others (which, if he mentioned the sin and the sinner would be a direct violation of the seal of confession), he could speak generally about the difficulties he sees as a way to encourage, explain, motivate and help. Tact is always important here, especially to avoid the experience you have had.

In a situation like the one you mention, you may think that the priest has you alone in mind. It is much more likely that he does not even remember what you personally told him, but rather, that he has heard similar things quite often from many others… and not only in confession. When it comes to our sins we are very sensitive and it is hard to come to any other conclusion then that the priest is signaling us out, personally.

I would recommend continuing going to the sacrament, which is a great gift from God, and which not all take advantage of (you are blessed). If you are on more familiar terms with this priest or feel sufficient confidence, you could even mention to him what you experienced in the homily. He would surely be grateful and could also offer a better explanation for why he said what he did.

If in the end things don’t change, you can always find another confessor. The Church wants you to feel free and comfortable and would like to make it as easy as possible for you to go to this life giving sacrament.

Yours in Christ, Father Joseph Burtka, LC

25. Forgiving for Real (Mt 9:1-8)

“We ought to pity and love our enemies rather than hate and detest them, for they heap up evils on themselves but deserve well of us; they provoke God’s anger against themselves, but adorn us with the crown of eternal glory. We ought to pray for them; we should not be overcome by evil.”

- St Antony Mary Zaccaria

Matthew 9:1-8

He got back in the boat, crossed the water and came to his own town. Then some people appeared, bringing him a paralytic stretched out on a bed. Seeing their faith, Jesus said to the paralytic, ‘Courage, my child, your sins are forgiven’. And at this some scribes said to themselves, ‘This man is blaspheming’. Knowing what was in their minds Jesus said, ‘Why do you have such wicked thoughts in your hearts? Now, which of these is easier to say, Your sins are forgiven, or to say, Get up and walk? But to prove to you that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins,’ – he said to the paralytic – ‘get up, and pick up your bed and go off home’. And the man got up and went home. A feeling of awe came over the crowd when they saw this, and they praised God for giving such power to men.

Christ the Lord 

Jesus has just exhibited his power over the effects of sin (sickness, natural adversity) and the instigator of evil (the devil). Now St Matthew completes the grand slam by showing how Jesus absolves us from sin itself.

The other miracles could be taken as signs that Jesus is merely a great prophet, but by forgiving sins Christ leaves no room to doubt that he claims to be much more. In the Old Covenant, only God could forgive sins, because every sin was a rebellion against God, a conscious refusal to adhere to the truth of life’s purpose as established by God. Furthermore, in the Old Covenant, this forgiveness could only be obtained through the ritual sacrifices in the Temple stipulated by the Mosaic Law.

When the paralytic comes before Jesus to be healed, the Lord goes to the root of the man’s true need and assures him that his sins are forgiven. The Jewish scholars observing the encounter are immediately suspicious of such a divine claim being made so unceremoniously by an upstart rabbi. Jesus acknowledges (but doesn’t validate) their suspicion, and then performs the miracle to show that instead of being blasphemous, his claim is true. He can’t make the actual forgiveness of sins visible, but he can make the paralytic walk, which certainly shows that he can do what he says – more than enough proof to allay their doubts.

Once again, Christ shows that he is much more than a wise philosopher; he is Emmanuel, God among us – the Lord of life and history.

Christ the Teacher 

St. Matthew points out that Jesus saw the faith of the people who brought the sick man to Jesus, not the paralyzed man’s faith, and this triggered Christ’s saving action. The paralyzed man was unable to come to Jesus on his own power. Others brought him to the Lord, and the Lord honored their selfless, faith-filled deed. How many people whose souls are paralyzed by sin and doubt need the prayers and charity of faith-filled Christians to bring them into contact with Christ’s saving grace!

St. Matthew also subtly explains why the Jewish leaders didn’t recognize Christ as the Messiah (notice that it is precisely here, at the crescendo of the series of miracles, where the opposition between those leaders and Jesus begins). They had already formed an idea of what the Messiah would be, and they left no room for God to outdo their expectations by coming himself. They had closed their minds; they were attached to their own ideas, their own standards, their own limited understanding – they thought they had God all figured out. It is a common failure among people who seem to be experts in religion. They think they know it all, and they end up missing God’s most wonderful surprises. But the humble folk who recognized their own limitations and God’s greatness were open to the awe-inspiring glory of Christ. The arrogant scribes went home angry and unhappy; the humble crowed went home rejoicing.

Christ the Friend

Jesus calls the sick man “my child,” and then happily and generously relieves the greatest burden of his life – the gnawing guilt of his violated conscience.

How glad Christ is to welcome us into his family! How eager he is to forgive us, to renew us, to enlighten and strengthen our anxious and tired souls! All we have to do is come to him with faith and admit our needs, our helplessness, our sins. The Tabernacle, an ongoing appointment that Christ never misses; the confessional, a failsafe loving embrace and perpetual fresh start; the Gospels, a fountain of truth and grace that flows without respite – a Christian can find peace of heart wherever he turns, if only he doesn’t turn away from Christ.

Jesus: Come to me and I will heal you, I will set you free. Come to me in the Tabernacle, in all my sacraments, in the inspired word of the Bible! Come to me when you are filled with joy, as well as when you are crushed with troubles! When you turn to me in your weakness and acknowledge in all humility your need, then my mercy can make you walk once more, can make your heart resound with true peace and joy. Let me reach into the deepest recesses of your soul, bringing light to the hidden crevices carved by sin.

Christ in My Life 

The world is full of so many promises, Lord. So many gurus and life coaches and therapists promise to show the way to peace and wholeness. But can they forgive sins? Only you can reach into the depths of my soul; only you can see even deeper than I can; only you can heal me and cleanse me and give me a new start. Thank you, Lord, for coming to forgive my sins and for giving me a new start, as often as I need one…

Certainly you have more that you want to do in me and through me. I don’t want to hinder you by stubbornly sticking to my own desires and plans if you are leading me along new paths. Your will, Lord, is beyond my comprehension; your plan is greater than I can imagine. Guide me, as you have promised to do, in spite of my selfishness and arrogance. Teach me to be humble, so I can be filled with awe and joy in the face of your wonderful deeds…

What do I enjoy most and value most about being a Christian and a member of your Church? So many things, Lord. Let me savor them… Thank you for those gifts, Lord. I know that your love for me is as vast as the heavens, though at times it’s hard for me to accept. I want to use your gifts and rejoice in them. Teach me, Lord, to do your will…

Yours in Christ, Father John Bartunek, LC

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