Roman Catholic Spiritual Direction

Where can I find a spiritual director?

September 3, 2012 by  
Filed under Finding a Director, Spiritual Direction

Q: Dear Father John, I remember reading long ago St. Vincent Ferrer’s Treatise on the Spiritual Life, which near the end says that those who cannot find a director will, if sincere, be guided by God/the Holy Spirit himself. He does Not say how God will do this (audibly, by supernatural phenomena, by circumstances one lives in or encounters, by books, or some other ways)?

I would very Much like to receive your Valued thoughts on this. St. Vincent says also that near the end of the age/approach of Antichrist, there will be a very big shortage of spiritual directors, and that the God-direct approach will in most cases be the only option.

I am not very advanced in the spiritual life and have been a sinner.

A: Only a precious few are advanced in the spiritual life, and all of us are sinners, so you are right at home here.

The Persistent Challenge

Your first question begins with a concern that comes up over and over again here on this website, and also in real life: Where can I find a spiritual director? It is hard, and you are not alone in having experienced the difficulty. But St. Vincent’s advice involves two points. The first is a condition, and the second is a result. If the condition is met, the result will follow. The condition is that someone is unable to find a spiritual director. This implies that the person has made a concerted effort to do so. And there is actually a lot we can do in this field. We have had a chance to examine this question from various angles, and I am sure that you will find some good advice, comfort, and practical tips from re-reading the following posts: How Do I Find and Select a Spiritual Director?; Faithful Priests Are Too Busy! Where Can I Look?; How Can I Determine if a Spiritual Director is Faithful to the Church?; Should My Spiritual Director and Confessor Be the Same Person?.

God Won’t Be Stymied

Now, if someone has made a concerted effort – doing everything within their power over an extended period of time, and asking God consistently and humbly in prayer – and God has still not given a director, then, certainly, we can count on God to guide this person directly. And he will do so through all the normal means that he gives us to grow spiritually: the sacraments, prayer, spiritual reading, faith-based friendships, and study of the faith. He will also do so through shaping circumstances in one’s life, and providing insights here and there from surprising sources – a comment of a stranger in a bookstore, a sudden inspiration to pick up a book or make a visit to the Eucharist, a line or scene from a movie, a beautiful sunset… The Catechism (#s 1 & 27) reminds us that “at every time and in every place, God draws close to man. He calls man to seek him, to know him, to love him with all his strength… God never ceases to draw man to himself.” God works from within our hearts, and he also works from the outside, passionately seeking every possible way to draw us closer to him.

Deeper Troubles?

More than a few saints experienced long periods of suffering and confusion before they were able to find good spiritual directors or confessors – St. Margaret Mary, St. Faustina Kowalska, even St. Teresa of Jesus followed this path. But God guided them throughout, and he even used their suffering to help them grow in wisdom and docility. Nevertheless, we should beware of presuming on God’s goodness. We should be careful to ask ourselves if maybe our difficulty in finding a director is linked to some vanity or pride. Maybe we are looking for the perfect director, the one who has experienced all four levels of infused contemplation, the one who glows with a holy aura, the one who will have an answer for everything, the one we just really like… That over-exalted standard is a distraction, and it can unnecessarily delay our taking advantage of this means for spiritual growth.

God works through ordinary instruments as easily as he works through extraordinary instruments. An ordinary priest or religious who is faithful and well-instructed in Catholic doctrine can be an excellent spiritual director, even if God has not graced him or her with infused contemplation, the gift of reading souls, or an outwardly attractive spiritual mien. Again, the experience of the saints instructs us. St. Elizabeth of Hungary’s confessor was imprudent and temperamental. Blessed John Paul II, as a young man, had a layman, a humble tailor, as his spiritual guide.

A good spiritual director doesn’t have to be a perfect spiritual director. The spiritual director is not the one who is responsible for the holiness of the person receiving direction – the directee is still the one journeying into the Heart of Jesus. To forego the many, many benefits of spiritual direction because we are waiting for the perfect spiritual director, when a good one is available, is surely not an inspiration from the Holy Spirit.

End Times’ Shortage?

Now we are ready to go on to the second part of your question, regarding the End Times and the scarcity of good spiritual directors.

I was unable to find the exact passage in St. Vincent’s book that you are referring to. But he does write much in that Treatise about a problem common among Catholic circles during his lifetime (late 1300s and early 1400s): an obsession with visions, locutions, private revelations, and other supernatural phenomenon. In his Treatise, he warns the sincere Christian against following any spiritual leader whose obsession for such phenomena leads them to contradict or question the tenets of the Catholic faith. And he laments that, unfortunately, such persons and the spiritual temptations they engender “are very common in these times, and which God permits for the purpose of purifying and testing his elect” (p180).

In this sense, his warnings appear to echo the New Testament, where St. Paul, St. John, St. Jude, and others, issue vehement and frequent warnings against false teachers. St. John even writes, towards the end of the first century, “Children, it is the last hour; and just as you heard that the antichrist was coming, so now many antichrists have appeared. Thus we know this is the last hour” (1 John 2:18). So, in a broad sense, we already live in the End Times, the times of the Antichrist – this last age of history, the age of the Church, in which the Gospel is to be preached to all peoples and believers are to suffer great persecution.

When the Catechism discusses the Church’s final trial, however, which will immediately precede Jesus’ Second Coming (see Catechism #s 675-679), it makes no mention of any specific signs or indicators – as, for example, what you write about there being a shortage of good spiritual directors. In fact, when we read Church history, we find many periods when that has been the case.

I hope this answer has given you some encouragement. You can rest assured that if you are doing your part to use whatever means are available to you to deepen your friendship with Christ, he will certainly also do his part, and you have nothing to fear.

God bless you!

Print Friendly

About Fr. John Bartunek, LC

Fr John Bartunek, LC, S.Th.D, received his BA in History from Stanford University in 1990. He comes from an evangelical Christian background and became a member of the Catholic Church in 1991. After college he worked as a high school history teacher, drama director, and baseball coach. He then spent a year as a professional actor in Chicago before entering the religious Congregation of the Legionaries of Christ in 1993. He was ordained a Catholic priest in 2003 and earned his doctorate in moral theology in 2010. He provided spiritual support on the set of Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ while researching the 2005 Catholic best seller, Inside the Passion, the only authorized, behind-the-scene explanation of the film. Fr John has contributed news commentary regarding religious issues on CNN, Fox, and the BBC. He has appeared on Larry King Live, Hannity, and the Laura Ingraham radio show. He also served as the English-language press liaison for the Vatican’s 2005 Synod of Bishops on the Eucharist. His most widely known book is called: The Better Part: A Christ-Centered Resource for Personal Prayer. He has also published two other titles: Meditations for Mothers and A Guide to Christian Meditation. Fr John currently resides in his Order’s General Directorate in Rome, where he is continuing his writing apostolate. His blog contains Q&A on the spiritual life at www.rcspiritualdirection.com.

please consider supporting our mission with a donation!

  • LizEst

    This is an excellent post, Fr. John. A certain amount of people who visit this site are searching for a good spiritual director. Your words will give them hope to stay the course…and not to worry in the meantime. Thank you so much.

  • tz

    There is also the opposite problem. The spiritual director as “friend” who makes things easy or won’t criticize or develop. A parallel would be a health consultant who says you don’t have to exercize or avoid sweets because he knows you are fond of them. Or worse, works hard to make you “nice” instead of saintly. What is needed is a spiritual boot camp drill instructor.

    While our Lord can keep pushing and give neon flashing signs that someone needs his or her anger, fear, trust, lust or something else fixed, the nice spiritual director will tell them to ignore such.

    Bad spiritual direction is worse than none at all as drinking salt water is worse for dehydration.

    • http://www.rcspiritualdirection.com/ Dan Burke

      Well said TZ

  • Pingback: Mary Sacred Music Liturgical Music Spiritual Director Man | Big Pulpit

  • http://www.rcspiritualdirection.com/ Dan Burke

    Dear Friend, though Eucharistic Adoration is always a good practice and the Holy Spirit does guide us in these times of communion with the Lord, they are not in the proper sense Spiritual Direction as we are speaking of here. In the sense we use the term and the sense that the Church has used it, it always involves three persons, the directee, the director, and the Holy Spirit. All that said, in a general sense, I would agree with all of your comments. My reason for pressing the point is that many use the term as synonymous with many other activities like spiritual reading etc. This leads the reader to be mislead regarding the true and fruitful practice…

    • http://profiles.google.com/gtbradshaw G Bradshaw

      I guess I’ll press the point too, Dan. I’ve had the blessing of having 3 above-average priest-spiritual directors for the last 27 years. I have no idea where I’d be today without their love/advice & prayer support so i’m in no way denigrating their role. My point was that, without “face time” with Jesus in the Eucharist, I wouldn’t be able to accept or process or incorporate or whatever word you want to use, the direction that I receive.
      As with everything in the Catholic Church, this is not a case of ‘either or ‘ but ‘both and.’ It also seems very important to me that every Catholic (or every person) be well aware that Jesus is waiting day & night to ‘direct’ anyone who comes to Him. Direction is not for a lucky few. Ever.

      • http://www.rcspiritualdirection.com/ Dan Burke

        Very well said

  • DebraBrunsberg

    I was confirmed four years ago. I could not find a Spriitual Director so I relied on people close to me who had also experienced a powerful conversion. I have prayed every day that the Lord would send me a holy and spiritual priest for a director. Nothing. Then I realized that what the Lord did for me was to enable my work schedule to change to allow me to go to daily Mass and to have a Holy Hour. Between daily homilies, frequent confession, adoration and much spiritual reading, the Lord was directing me every moment of every day.
    When the Lord wants to make a very clear point, He utilizes everything and everyone around me. It is ever new and amazing to me how the Lord will put things into our hearts.
    I strongly recommend that everyone have one or two people in their lives that are madly in love with the Lord that they can talk to on a regular basis. Spiritual friends are of great assistance.

    • http://www.rcspiritualdirection.com/ Dan Burke

      Great advice!

  • DebraBrunsberg

    I too feel a need for a deeper type of direction, but do not really know where to find it. What I have been blessed with is that about every six months or so, I start to feel confused and lost in my journey and my pastor will make some time for me, to just talk about where I am at and what I need help with.  That half hour or hour now and then does wonders for pointing me in the right direction.  Maybe you could ask your paster for a bit of time to listen to you and give you some advice or to even just pray over you or bless you. The priest is a powerful intercessor.
    I have found that going to a healing Mass every month or every other month  brings me great peace and insight.  Do you have the opportunity to take part in that?
    It is hard to follow Christ. That is the truth. It is difficult to know if we are trying to get holier than we are supposed to or faster than we are supposed to or if we are too wrapped up in ourselves.  My last meeting with my pastor he told me I had pretty much everything in place for growth, but I was missing the service aspect. I need to start going out of myself for others.  I guess I am still in the Jesus and Me and forget about Thee stage.  That cannot go on forever though.  I don’t know if you are involved in any ministries or volunteer things, but that might be a way to grow spiritually.  I will pray for you, that the Lord will bring you someone to keep you on the right path.  God Bless.

  • Becky Ward

    One of the devil’s greatest weapons is to get us to keep things secret.  

    I agree with what Debra has said about going to daily Mass, making frequent confessions, and spending a good amount of time in front of the Blessed Sacrament.

    Pray!  If you truly want a director, and are ready for one, God will send you the right one for your soul…and that may be a lay person.  Do not underestimate the ability of the Holy Spirit to work through humble souls….even if they are not highly educated in theology.
    You might also check out Dan’s book…it is chock full of good help on this subject.

    God Bless!!

  • patricia

    I did have a spiritual director but then I was told I had to be in touch with my emotions. and right now with school and recent deaths in my family and dealing with past traumatic events, I was told spiritual direction right now is not good for me and i should concentrate on the stuff just mention and finish with school. I was told I always had too much on my plate. I however feel even more than ever I need spiritual direction. I am very concerned that I will become luke warm in loving and serving God. Does anyone have any suggestions. I spoke to my confessor about this and he had no comment. What should I do?

    • LizEst

      Patricia – Do you have, and have you read, Dan’s book “Navigating the Spiritual Life? On page 23, there is a whole chapter on how to find a spiritual director. And, on page 53, a short one page chapter on what do you if you can’t find one. If your confessor didn’t comment when you spoke to him about having a spiritual director, perhaps he was giving you an opportunity to ask him to direct you. Good confessors are one of the sources of spiritual directors. They don’t necessarily just jump up and volunteer to do that. Why don’t you get Dan’s book and read all the questions he recommends you ask of a potential director…and then ask your confessor?

      • Patricia Budd

        I have Dan’s book and I will re read that chapter I will ask my confessor next time. I was not sure if I would be putting him on the spot. I will ask him what he thinks about that. Thank you!

        • LizEst

          You’re welcome. When you read the chapter, pay attention to how Dan says to ask this question of him. There is a specific question (p. 28) that will open this up for you. Prepare properly for your meeting and follow up. Dan also gives very specific questions later on in the book and preparations you need to do. You need to be careful and specific about how you approach this meeting…and Dan lays it all out for you. Just follow the directions as you would follow a doctor’s instructions.

          • Patricia Budd

            I will thank you

  • Roman Catholic Spiritual DirectionRoman Catholic Spiritual DirectionRoman Catholic Spiritual DirectionRoman Catholic Spiritual Direction