Month: August, 2010How do I deal with issues of advancement and self-promotion at work?
A: Your question is a good one because when we are trying to faithfully follow Christ in a world where competition is fierce at times, it can seem like we are caught between a rock and a hard place: I want to follow Christ and have a successful career. Christ tells us in John’s Gospel that we are in the world but not of it (cf Jn 15:19); that is, that we have to live and work in it but that we don’t adopt its godless ways. It is a challenge for us. First, Christ is calling Christians to have the attitude of self-detachment. What do I mean by this? I mean it in a two-fold way. There is nothing wrong with recognizing the gifts and talents we have received from God for the good of others and in having them recognized by others- unless we are bragging in an arrogant way- but our identity should never be based on this recognition. We are first and foremost sons of God by adoption. This is our primary identity. Also, we need to have an attitude of gratitude realizing that God is the Author of all that we have received and we are called to use our gifts and talents wisely but in a detached way. We need this spirit of detachment so as not to allow our abilities or duties to interfere with our union with God and cloud a proper vision of the human person. With our fallen human nature often the tendency is to let success and money replace God. St Luke tells us in Lk 16:13 that we can’t serve both God and money. Second, we need to foster purity of intention in all our actions and achievements. This is hard at times as we can easily find ourselves doing things out of pride or vanity. To maintain purity of intention we need increase our union with Christ through prayer, sacrament (Eucharist and Confession) and self-examination (examination of conscience). These means help us to always give our best by putting our talents and gifts at the service of God and others. They also help us not to become self-centered, not to use others for personal gain and not to think we can do it without God’s help. A person with purity of intention is committed to God and to the common good. He doesn’t seek rewards. Third, we need to be humble. Humility doesn’t mean weakness; it means recognizing that God is in charge, that He is God and I am not. All too often, people can live as if there was no God and can do atrocious things to others (ie: slander, calumniation, criticizing, etc) to get ahead in a career or because the other got the job and they didn’t. The competitive spirit is good but never at the cost of charity. As a Christian we can never stoop to those levels just mentioned. We may also experience our own sufferings along the path of life due to others who will try to get ahead at all costs, who will try to trample us underfoot or undermine our efforts. We need to be humble and upright before God and others and let our integrity speak. Humility helps us not to compromise faith and morals and to avoid deceiving ourselves. With these three essential points that can help us to work hard on our career choice, keep God at the center of who we are and all we do and maintain a healthy consciousness of using all that God has blessed us with personally for the good of ourselves and the good of those we serve. Yours in Christ, Father Todd Arsenault, LC Redemptive suffering and abuse
A: Dear friend, it sounds like your situation is very challenging. I will do my best to answer your question and I will pray for peace and resolution for you and your family. I would also like to ask all of our readers to join in prayer for you and all those who find themselves in these very painful situations. The concept of redemptive suffering can certainly apply to suffering that is emotional, mental or spiritual. Each of us is a unity of body and soul, and suffering of the soul is every bit as real as physical suffering — sometimes more so. Emotional suffering includes situations like having to watch a loved one struggle with a terminal illness. Mental suffering can include cases of chronic depression. Spiritual suffering could include the “dark night of the soul,” where a devout person has a deep sense of loneliness or desolation, to the point of feeling abandoned by God. (In this last case the Almighty is actually purifying the soul.) Quite separate from these is the case that involves emotional/mental/spiritual suffering in an abusive relationship. An abusive relationship is unhealthy both for the one being abused, and also for the one who is abusing. Therefore, the truly loving thing to do is to find a way to end the abuse. This may involve seeking psychological or pastoral help for yourself and, if possible, for your husband. The abuse indicates that he likely has deep-seated issues that need attention and healing. Moreover, your own psychic (and physical) health faces risks from long-term exposure to abuse. Thus, a wife owes it to herself and her family to seek outside help. In the meantime, you should also do what you can to remove yourself and your children from harm’s way. The Church is actually quite clear about this. The Code of Canon Law in No. 1153 §1 states
Do not think that this course of action is some kind of spiritual cop out. Taking steps to protect yourself and your family from current abuse, and actively seeking ways to help resolve the underlying causes of your husband’s behavior are not easy tasks. They will be painful on many levels, and that suffering – the internal suffering caused by the challenge of trying to right this wrong – will indeed be redemptive, as you unite it through prayer and the sacraments to Christ’s own suffering on the cross. Yours in Christ, Father Edward McIlmail, LC Father McIlmail is a theology instructor at Mater Ecclesiae College in Greenville, RI. What is “spiritual reading” and how do busy people find time for this?
A: It sounds like you have found a wise spiritual director. If daily meditation is like the bread-and-butter of your spiritual diet, spiritual reading is your multi-vitamin supplement. First let’s reflect on why that is the case, then we can make some practical recommendations for squeezing it into your schedule. What Is Spiritual Reading? Spiritual reading consists of reading something that explains some aspect of Catholic truth in an attractive, enriching way. Its function is to help reinforce and deepen our Christian view of ourselves and the world around us. In previous eras, popular culture itself was imbued with the Christian world view, so even popular books and dramas would reinforce the Christian value system. But now that is not the case. Instead, our minds are flooded every day by messages (advertisements, films, TV shows, news, music) that directly contradict the Christian world view. That will have its effect on how we think and what we value. In fact, this is one of the reasons the Church is suffering so much from so-called cafeteria Catholics. They get their Catholic formation from secular sources (The New York Times, Newsweek…), and so they simply can’t understand why the Church would ever be against such popular and seemingly reasonable propositions like artificial contraception, artificial reproduction, and gay marriage. Because of this ongoing flood of secular ideals, we have to consciously nourish our minds with authentic Christian teaching in order to avoid being poisoned. That’s what spiritual reading can do. Spiritual reading is either instructive or refreshing. It either informs our minds so that we learn to think and understand more and more in harmony with Revelation, or it refreshes what we already know/have learned by making it shine out more clearly once again. In either case, it counteracts the seductive, secularizing messages that saturate our cultural atmosphere. This is why it’s such an important spiritual discipline. It plants seeds of Christian truth in your mind, and they grow and germinate in your subconscious as you go about your daily business. These seeds often flower during your daily prayer and meditation; in fact, spiritual reading frequently provides topics, ideas, or insights that are excellent material for Christian meditation. Getting Practical Spiritual reading differs from plain reading not only in the content, but also in the method. You don’t need to spend a lot of time doing spiritual reading; fifteen minutes a day is fine. And you don’t need to read fast. The idea is simply to taste, chew on, and swallow some healthy Catholic concepts every day. The difference between spiritual reading and meditation is the end result. The goal of your meditation is to converse with the Lord about what matters to him and what matters to you. The reflection and consideration that forms part of your meditation is meant to spur that conversation in your heart. The goal of spiritual reading is to inform your mind; it doesn’t finish with a prayerful conversation (though that can sometimes pop up spontaneously, which is fine!). A lot of the books we have been recommending on this Web site are prime material for spiritual reading. But if you’re not a reader, or if you think you don’t have time, you can also get creative. Good Catholic novels (novels imbued with a Catholic world view, where characters exemplify Christian virtue in a realistic but inspiring way) can serve as a kind of spiritual reading. Listening while you drive or exercise to recordings of spiritual talks, homilies, or conferences (or books on tape, or even good Catholic podcasts) can also do the trick. The point here is that we all need to be always growing in our knowledge of the faith, because if we are not growing, we’re withering. Yours sincerely in Christ, Fr John Bartunek, LC, ThD PS: The beautiful painting is entitled” Prayer” by Itzhak Tordjman Ignatian Examination of Conscience on Faith, Hope, and Love
As we read the Spiritual Exercises, we may be overwhelmed by the minute detail of St. Ignatius’ treatment of what he calls the particular examination of conscience. At the same time, he is careful to provide, “Some Notes on Scruples.” It is very important, therefore, that we form a clear and correct conscience. This means that we cultivate a sensitive judgment which is alert to the least offense against the Divine will and, at the same time, protect ourselves against the wiles of the evil spirit. “The enemy,” says St. Ignatius,” considers carefully whether one has a lax or a delicate conscience. If one has a delicate conscience, the evil one seeks to make it excessively sensitive in order to disturb and upset it more easily. Thus, if he sees that one will not consent to mortal sin or venial sin, or even to the appearance of deliberate sin, since he cannot cause him to fall in a matter that appears sinful, he strives to make the soul judge that there is a sin, for example in a word or passing thought, where there is no sin” (Spiritual Exercises, 349). It is valuable to reflect on this tactic of the evil spirit before we offer some practical norms for making our daily examination of conscience. Why? Because otherwise, we are liable to overlook the importance of a daily inventory of our moral conduct for fear of becoming scrupulous. There is such a thing as growing in prudent sensitivity of conscience, without becoming a victim of the “enemy” as St. Ignatius calls him. We may set this down as a general principle, for those who are sincerely striving to do the will of God: It is characteristic of God and His angels, when they act upon the soul, to give true happiness and spiritual joy and to banish all the sadness and disturbances which are caused by the enemy. It is characteristic of the evil one to fight against such happiness and consolation by proposing fallacious reasonings, subtleties, and continual deceptions (Rules for Discernment of Spirits, II, 1). What are we to conclude from this? That the more zealous we are in trying to please God, the more He will give us a deep interior peace of soul. We should suspect as a temptation from the evil one, when we find ourselves worried or anxious or disturbed, no matter how pious the source of the worry or anxiety may be. The key to applying this principle is that, before God, I honestly want to do His will even though through weakness, I may fail to live up to my resolutions. One basic virtue on which we should daily examine ourselves is peace of soul. We should ask ourselves, “Have I given in to worry or anxiety?” “Have I allowed myself to get discouraged?” A good practice is to pronounce the name, “Jesus,” when we find ourselves getting despondent, or say some short aspiration like, “My Jesus, I trust in you,” whenever we become dejected over something. PARTICULAR EXAMEN ON THE THEOLOGICAL VIRTUES Before applying the particular examen to my own spiritual life, it is well to first ask myself, “What are the virtues that I know from experience I most need to develop?” The reason why this question should first be answered is that no two of us are equally prone to commit the same kind of sins. Nor are we personally always tempted in the same direction. There is wisdom in first knowing enough about myself, to be able to get to the root of my own moral weakness. Otherwise, I may be ignoring what really needs attention in my spiritual life and concentrating on what is not so necessary for me at this time in my service of God. Moreover, it would be a mistake to suppose that by attending to my moral failings, I am being “negative” in my pursuit of holiness. On the contrary. In God’s providence, He allows us to fail in those areas in which He especially wants us to grow in virtue. We can fail in the practice of these virtues either by commission, omission, or by tepidity, in not acting as generously as we might in responding to the grace we have received from God. FAITH
HOPE
CHARITY
Self-knowledge and the spiritual life – Part III – Sacred silence
Be still, and know that I am God This passage clearly reveals the type of silence necessary for a God-ward self-knowledge. First, we have the purpose of silence, to know and acknowledge that He is God. Silence apart from this acknowledgment and this pursuit of intimacy with God is a self-centered navel-gazing affair that will yield little more than an empty rest. With God, silence finds its highest value and meaning. It becomes not only restorative but also redemptive. It becomes an act of worship and lays the groundwork for a disposition that can receive the fullness that God has to bring to our souls – including self-knowledge. The second element necessary for the fruitful pursuit of a sacred silence is to “Be still.” Stillness in this context is best reflected in the idea of the dedicated attention of one’s soul to another. As an example, my wife and I are very busy folks. We regularly communicate via text messages, emails, on the phone between meetings, or running errands etc. At times, usually after several months of this type of communication we run into a situation where our ability to connect breaks down. This often happens when we attempt to deal with the weightier issues of life on-the-fly. Sometimes we are looking to be efficient with one another rather than present. When this happens frustration rises. The only remedy is to slow down and spend time face to face, without interruptions, and with the demonstrated commitment that in the time we set aside to connect, there is nothing more important than loving and serving one another. This concentrated encounter captures something of the essence of stillness with God. So, we have two simple elements that make up a truly sacred silence 1) being alone with and acknowledging God, and 2) being still before God. The challenge for most of us is that this can seem like a lofty and out of reach ideal. How can we legitimately aspire to this kind of silence when the world demands so much of us? Most of us are not cloistered contemplatives. Most of us battle with an endemic busy-ness. However it is a reality that many among us achieve the goal of silence necessary to know ourselves and God. These will never be in the majority, but God is always calling and equipping willing hearts to enter into a deeper relationship with him. That said, as with any meaningful accomplishment in life, loving God through this spiritual discipline of silence is not something we can simply snap into existence. It takes time, dedication, commitment and energy to achieve. Breaking away from the Martha-syndrome to achieve something of what Mary understood (Luke 10:42) is more than worth the effort. The lover of our souls is waiting in the silence. Only through silence will we find him and know the love that he has for us there.
In our next post we will begin to talk about ways to cultivate silence in the midst of our busy activity filled lives. Seek Him – Find Him – Follow Him Dan |
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