Sayings of Light and Love #2

O Lord, my God, who will seek you with simple and pure love, and not find that you are all one can desire, for you show yourself first and go out to meet those who seek you?

Saint John of the Cross

How do I know if I am ready for spiritual direction?

Q: Dear Father John, Though I have read many of your posts on spiritual direction, I am still struggling with taking the leap and making an appointment. I do want to grow in my relationship to Christ but how do I know if I am really ready for this and it is the right thing for me right now? It is a bit intimidating and I don’t want to waste anyone’s time…

A: Relax. The first thing you need to know is that God is already hard at work in your soul. The mere fact that you are having this struggle is proof of it. Really. Imagine how pleased our Lord is as he sees you wanting to come closer to him and wondering about whether spiritual direction is a good next step… So many of his children never think of him at all, and you are thinking about new ways to know, love, and follow him better! This is clear evidence that the Holy Spirit is guiding you. And if he has been guiding you thus far, he will continue to do so. As Cardinal Newman put it in one of his famous poems: “…So long Thy power has blessed me; sure it still will lead me on…” Be sure he will keep leading you on.

The easiest way for you to see if you are ready for this is to try it. For example, you could go on a retreat (preferably a spiritual exercises retreat), and meet with a spiritual director during the retreat. See how it goes, see what it feels like, see if it helps you. Or, you could simply ask for a one-time meeting with a spiritual director to talk about what you are doing and what more you could be doing to grow spiritually. Having an initial experience will help you discern if God is offering you this means of growth. You can do this without making a long-term commitment.

But in general, I would offer two other reflections. First, spiritual direction is not just for the elite. Every Christian can benefit from this kind of guidance, as long as they are sincere about trying to know, love, and follow Jesus more closely. You may have the impression that spiritual direction is only for spiritual marines. No. As a general principle, I would say that spiritual direction is the right thing for everyone all the time, if it is the kind of direction we are describing here on this site.

Second, you may be overestimating the role of spiritual direction. You don’t graduate from confession to spiritual direction, for example. Not at all. The sacraments, moral virtue, and prayer remain the irreplaceable staples of our spiritual diets. Spiritual direction merely helps us make better use of those means of growth that God has given us. It helps us create more space for the Holy Spirit to work in and through us. It is like a catalyst for improvement in the other, more central relationships and activities of life in a fallen world. Getting spiritual direction doesn’t involve leaving any of those things behind.

Finally, don’t listen to the voice saying that you would be wasting someone’s time. If you are willing to be sincere and docile in receiving direction, and if God provides someone willing to direct you, that person will be fulfilling their mission (as a spiritual director) by helping you fulfill your mission of drawing closer to Christ. And what could be a better use of time than that?

Yours in Christ, Father John Bartunek, LC, STL

Drawing: The artwork is from Karen Ku. If this link doesn’t work, go to www.karenku.com

How can I effectively prepare for a retreat?

Q: Dear Catholic Spiritual Direction, I am going to a silent retreat soon. I know that I really need this and I really want to deepen my relationship with Christ. Is there anything in particular I can do to effectively prepare?

A: Dear Friend, this is a difficult question to answer without knowing some details about your spiritual life but we will give it a shot.

First, a great deal of the benefit of spiritual exercises or retreats is the ability to break from the day-to-day grind of life and spend dedicated time listening to God. Often, the most challenging aspect of these retreats relates to our ability to really break away from the routine of noise and busy-ness and to quiet our minds enough to hear God’s “still small voice” with any measure of clarity. So, often, a good preparation is simply making the commitment to set aside all the cares of the world for a while. This preparation can be as simple as ensuring you have someone you trust to let the dog out and care for whatever matters you might be leaving behind for a few days.

Second, in today’s world of hyper communication one of the harder things to do is to shut down all the means through which people can contact you. This will likely mean leaving your cell-phone and computer at home. This can be hard to do. Many protest, “what if there is an emergency?” My thought is always, “what did they do a hundred years ago when there was an emergency?” Will a few hours of prayer without disruption really mean that the world will fall apart if someone cannot reach you?

You will likely have enough of a challenge finding peace within your own soul without having to fight off external distractions. The more channels of communication you leave open, the greater the probability that you will be interrupted. This is particularly true with those seeking to deepen their spiritual lives. The enemy will do everything he can to reach you, to keep you from the retreat, and to distract you as you seek to turn your heart and soul to God. Worst case, take your cell phone with you if you must, but leave it in the car. You can always leave the number of the retreat center with family members in the case of a real emergency.

Third, it is a good idea to pray for wisdom and insight as you head into the retreat. If you can set aside an additional five minutes a day to pray a decade of the rosary with the intention of a successful retreat, that would be a good step in the right direction. You might also increase your time of scripture or other spiritual reading. Believe it or not, a few minutes here and there can provide a great deal if insight into your spiritual journey. It is also a good idea to pray a prayer to St. Michael to ask for protection and to St. Ignatius as he is the father of much of the great benefits we receive in modern spiritual exercises.

Finally, and most importantly, relax. Bring yourself to God with love and openness. Trust him to give you whatever you need in the retreat. Trust that if it should be a dry period, that he will work in it. If it should be a delightful time of consolation and peace, the praise be to him in his great mercy. Don’t construct in your mind what he can, will, or should do for you during this time. Just rest in him, turn your heart to him, follow him and listen carefully and peacefully. Regardless of what you hear or don’t hear, experience or don’t experience, keep your eyes on him.

Yours in Christ,

Dan

Sayings of Light and Love #1

The Lord has always revealed to mortals the treasures of his wisdom and spirit, but now that the face of evil bears itself more and more, so does the Lord bear his treasures more.

Saint John of the Cross

How and why should I practice a daily examination of conscience? Part II of II

Q: Dear Father John, My spiritual director is recommending that I practice a daily “examination of conscience.” I thought this was just for religious, etc. Can you help me understand more about this, how it should be done, and why?

A: In our first post we covered the “why” and an introduction to the “how” of a daily examination of conscience. This post will help you with the practical steps you need to achieve the benefits of the blessings available in this practice.

The Beginning

To begin, make the sign of the cross and remind yourself that you are in the presence of God, your Father, who loves you with a personal, determined, and everlasting love. Then ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten you, so that you can know yourself better so as to be able to give yourself better to God. You can do this in your own words, or use a prayer like this one:

O Holy Spirit come in Thy mercy;

enlighten my mind and strengthen my will

that I may know my sins,

humbly confess them,

and sincerely amend my life.

The Middle

The middle of the examination of conscience consists in serenely, prayerfully looking over your day. It’s like taking a helicopter flight back over the ground you covered on foot. You want to keep an eye out for two things especially: moments of victory and moments of failure.

Victories are moments when God’s grace triumphed in your behavior (you didn’t lose your patience in a situation where you usually do, for example), or when his grace embraced and enfolded you in a special way (he gave you an intimate awareness of his goodness while you did your morning meditation, for example). When you find these victories, smile at them, enjoy them, and thank God for them.

Failures are the contrary: moments when you cut yourself off from God’s grace, willfully or simply through weakness and distraction; moments when you did not image God’s goodness in your thoughts, words, and behavior; moments when you sinned by commission or omission. As you spot these failures, you should allow yourself to “mourn” them (“blessed are those who mourn, they shall be comforted” Mt 5:4), but never give quarter to discouragement. Instead, always turn discouragement into humility. Don’t think: “I am such a selfish wreck; I am not making any progress.” Instead, pray: “You see, Lord, how weak I am, and how much I need your grace!”

As you look for victories and failures, it helps to keep a special eye out for the points that are included in your program of life. In this way, you will become more familiar with the manifestations of your root sin, and this will enable you (gradually) to respond more quickly and virtuously to difficult situations and temptations.

At the same time, however, you have to allow yourself to dig beneath the surface. When you spot a victory or a failure, ask yourself, “Why?” Why did you lose your patience again, when you really didn’t want to? Why did your meditation this morning go so much better than usual?… As we reflect on the causes of our behavior, with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, our self-knowledge increases significantly.

The End

You always want to conclude the examination of conscience with two things:

1. A renewal of your commitment to try and follow Christ faithfully tomorrow. This can be a general renewal, or you can formulate some kind of a specific resolution, e.g. “Lord, tomorrow, with your help, I don’t want to gossip during our lunch party, so please help me to change the subject when it starts, or at least give me the strength to walk away.”

2. An act of contrition telling God you are sorry for your sins. This doesn’t have to be a formal act of contrition (you can use your own words), but sometimes it helps to use a simple formula. For example, you can use the act of contrition utilized at the end of confession, or the “I confess to almighty God…” prayer we utilize at the beginning of Mass.

This may seem like an incredibly complicated way to spend five minutes. But in reality it isn’t. You will find your own rhythm, and the Holy Spirit will help you. The important thing is to make this examination of conscience a staple of your daily diet. If you find it hard at first because your mind is racing, you may want to try doing it in writing: a) write down two specific things you are thanking for from the day; b) write down one thing about your behavior from the day that you would change if you could go back in time; c) write down a petition for the grace to follow Christ faithfully tomorrow.