Catholic Spiritual Direction

How can I determine if a spiritual director is faithful to the church?

Posted Friday, December 18th, 2009 at 4:00 am under Challenges, Finding a Director, Questions and Answers, Spiritual Direction
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st john of the cross3Q: Dear Father Joseph, I am hesitant to go to a local priest for spiritual direction because I am worried about his submission, or lack of submission to the Church. He is a good priest but he has made some confusing comments about abortion and a few political topics etc. Are there simple questions I can ask and a way to ask (that would not be offensive) to help me determine if a particular priest or lay person (a potential spiritual director) is faithful to the teachings of the Church? I don’t want to end up with spiritual mis-direction. This is all far too important to me.

A: Spiritual direction is a long standing tradition in the Church and an excellent means for growing in prayer life and in sanctity. Seeing our lives from an outside, objective source is a great way to know ourselves better so as to better ourselves more quickly and efficiently.

With that in mind, your question is a happy one because it shows the interest that you have in wanting to grow in your relationship with Christ. You are not satisfied with your present level and you are searching for a guide to help you to grow. I am sure that this desire comes from the Holy Spirit and will not go unrewarded.

The best recommendation that I can give you is one that St John of the Cross gives, and that is quoted in the Catechism of the Catholic Church in number 2690: “the person wishing to advance toward perfection should ‘take care into whose hands he entrusts himself, for as the master is, so will the disciple be, and as the father is so will be the son.’” In other words, look to put yourself into the hands of someone whom you admire for his personal sanctity and life of prayer.

In the formulation of your question, you hint at the fact that your priest may not be this person for you; you are hesitant and unsure about his doctrinal formation and preparation. This is not a good way to start a spiritual direction relationship. Perhaps the first thing you should do is get to know your priest better. Ask for an appointment to speak with him, or participate in a parish activity that allows you more contact with him. You will get to know another side of your priest that cannot be seen in a formal moment of preaching and that may dispel some of your worries (and hopefully not add to them).

When you finally do have that one on one meeting (that can be in or outside of confession), ask him about your problems and needs. Are his answers prayerful ones? Do they bring peace? Is there anything that doesn’t seem to chime with Catholic morals and doctrine? Does he recommend prayer and greater self discipline or self denial? Does he push you towards holiness? When you leave, do you feel challenged towards being more generous with Christ? I think that these are the types of questions you should have in mind regarding the holiness and preparation of that person that you have chosen as spiritual guide.

Lastly, in your question you mention that your priest has made some confusing comments regarding abortion and politics. St John of the Cross in the same aforementioned Catechism number also refers to learning, discretion and experience. Again, it would appear that you do not find these qualities in your priest. If you still think these are lacking after coming to know him better, it would be best to look for someone who corresponds more to your needs.

All Priests do not share the same gifts. Some are better at preaching than at direction of souls. Look for that priest in whom you most see the image of Jesus Christ. And pray for your priests – we all have a great need of growing in holiness so as to help our own souls and those in our care.

Yours in Christ, Father Joseph Burtka, LC

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TRACKBACK | COMMENT FEED
  • Kaylan
    I have desired a director for years but most of the pastors I have encountered were either too busy (had to handle several parishes) or did not desire to be a director. For a few years now I've come to find going to Mass quite difficult because I never know my state of soul. It makes me uncertain if I should receive Communion. And when I miss Mass, I often question my decision to stay home (for example, I find driving extremely stressful and only go where I absolutely need to for the most part; recently the wind has been bad and when this happens, it makes my long drive to church almost unbearable. I feel as if I will drive the car off the road). I have five children so it makes me more nervous with any of the children in the car. So at times I've told myself this is a serious reason to avoid Mass, given the weather condition and don't go). But situations like this make me feel very guilty. Did I make the right decision? Was I being distrustful of God by not driving in a condition most think is not that bad? Without a director I suffer this type of thinking weekly and it makes me very sad.
  • danburke
    Dear Kaylan in Christ,

    Your questions are very important. I would set aside the quest for a long term spiritual director at this point and get an appointment with a priest who can help you work through your immediate issues. Simply call and ask to meet with him to discuss a spiritual challenge you are facing. Also indicate that you would like him to hear your confession.

    Be assured you are in my prayers
  • danburke
  • Thank you for this post. It has been quite helpful to me although I have a different (albeit parallel) situation. I am in a formation program for SFO, but every time I come near the formation director, who is quite newly professed, I feel my skin crawl -- the same kind of feeling I get whenever I am exposed to something that later turns out to be evil in some way. I am not the only one. Others have had negative emotional responses without quite knowing how to label them. One senior member of the fraternity told me that "someone" needs to bring the matter to the attention of the council. So, on behalf of the others, I approached our council with this issue, writing a letter signed by 75% of the individuals in formation (and supported by 100% of them). The council turned it over to the regional folks. The latter wrote a scathing letter saying that because we questioned the choice of formation director we clearly were not ready to turn ourselves over to God. We love most of the fraternity members, but the council seems mesmerized by this one person. Every time I pray about the issue, I see only the image of Jesus turning over the tables in the temple. I have no idea what that is supposed to mean if anything. Your response to the question on spiritual direction leads me closer to the decision to walk away from my candidacy in SFO; I have many other resources for spiritual growth, including some wonderful priests in my life -- with whom I will discuss the SFO "problem" before making a final decision.

    Sorry for the long post. You touched a raw nerve.

    I read your posts faithfully. I cannot tell you how helpful they are!!

    Wishing you a blessed Christmas -- and praying for all the priests whom God has blessed me to have in my life. As you suggest, priests need prayer, too.
  • I don't know if I can be of any help Elizabeth as I'm not a priest or director of anything (just a Catholic mom of 5) but I thought I'd give my two cents. I believe in situations where we are not certain of the spiritual state of someone in authority (in your case the formation director), you could merely follow what they ask as long as it is not against Church teaching. Since you've already taken this to the council, you've done what you can in the matter. It would be a shame if the devil (if he, indeed, is involved) scared more than half the fraternity away because of this one person. I should think that is what he would want. Yes, we can do spiritual work outside of communities but it does help greatly to be involved in a community. He helps to keep us inspired, just like going to Mass helps us to realize we are not in this alone. We are all part of the Body of Christ. I think I would endure it for as long as I could but it if was causing me great anxiety or if you notice this formation director leading souls away from Truth (like people new to the community), I would take the matter up with those higher than the council. Perhaps even the local Bishop. If you find no resolve after taking these measures, for your own resolve, I'd walk away from the SFO because the amount of stress it causes will only upset your spiritual growth (in my humble opinion). You can always switch over to the Third Order Discalced Carmelites (I recommend Discalced because I have a high regard for St. Teresa of Avila who really reformed the Carmelite Order during her day). I know there is a monastery of Discalced Carmelite nuns in Pittsford, NY. You could write to them to ask more about the lay order. They might know where to contact them directly. OR another good lay order is those associated with Divine Mercy. I'm pretty sure there is a lay community associated with the Shrine. Check their site: http://thedivinemercy.org/
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